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Post by Ace Vincent, The ALPHA GOAT on Apr 30, 2012 6:19:51 GMT -5
I felt like it. Click the picture, read about where Ace has been, what he's been doing, etc. You don't care, but your girlfriend does.
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Post by Raziel on Apr 30, 2012 11:23:34 GMT -5
Good thing K2 isn't still around, otherwise she'd be confused between Ace and her boyfriend (also chris hemsworth.) Nice writing, man.
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Post by abc on May 3, 2012 3:46:50 GMT -5
Loved the text conversation at the end. Texting a crazy bitch is exactly like that, though I've never encountered that bitch's level of crazy lol.
The way you wrote Aidan was perfect for that time period. Just reading your shit gives me a million ideas on where this could possibly go for both of our characters. Some brilliant angles are definitely possible.
As far as criticism, sometimes the dialogue can be a little vague with who's saying what. I mean, if you put what's being said in context it's easy to put together and I know it's hard to remind the reader without disrupting the dialogue's flow, but there were a few times I had to re-read before continuing. Also, the grammar was inconsistent at the end (when it came to the text messages) which isn't a problem when it comes to reading but it's just something I noticed.
The story was strong and I'm sure it's going to get even better. A lot was going on and once things slow down a little bit you can really start to explore Ace on a personal level.
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Post by AlexK's Kalvacade on May 9, 2012 22:55:37 GMT -5
This RP is delicious. Bring me another! (Proper feedback later, honest lol)
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Post by darkshadow123 on Jun 9, 2012 0:50:07 GMT -5
Axel, why you become useless
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