Dick Trickle Addresses Some Nobody: AND They Get Chinese!
Jun 1, 2024 22:31:06 GMT -5
Jonathan Barrows and Cªptain Rightəºus/Lªɗƴ Łıɓerṭy like this
Post by colossus on Jun 1, 2024 22:31:06 GMT -5
It was the week after Memorial Day weekend.
What is the best thing to do on the week after Memorial Day weekend?
Get Chinese Food, of course.
The U-Haul backs into a parking space outside the Fortune Chef Downtown, a renowned Tulsa staple for Asian cuisine close to the PPG Paints Arena. The driver side door opens, and Dick Trickle steps out. He fixes the cuff links on his blazer after rolling the sleeves back down. A sheen of sweat glimmers on his forehead. The U-Haul’s air conditioning wasn’t working, and the hottest month of the year in Pennsylvania is actually June.
It was only June 1st and it was hotter than Satan's asshole out here.
It was only June 1st and it was hotter than Satan's asshole out here.
Wonderful.
He walks to the back of the truck and pulls up the hatch. He rolls up the door.
“I called in advance, I told them you were coming and to be ready.”
The giant metal box was dark on the inside, and began to rattle and shift as the big man made his way to the exit. Dick pulls the ramp out, and lowers it. He walks down it, the metal straining under his weight. His feet touch the concrete and he snarls.
“ME HUNGRY”.
Dick just nods, ushering his monster towards the door. They open it up (the little bell dings to signify their arrival) and walk inside. All of the workers immediately stop what they are doing and run to accommodate the big man. They had pushed two tables together and found larger chairs from somewhere. He sits down, and one of the employees turns the OPEN sign to CLOSED and locks the door.
“You know the drill” Dick said, “one of everything. And we want it in ten to fifteen mina.”
The wide-eyed workers scrambled back to the kitchen to get to work.
“And if it is even one minute late, Colossus here is going to get very angry. You won’t like that. If he does not have his food in a timely manner you won’t have a business to come to tomorrow.”
The workers nodded, and increased their tempo.
Dick sat down next to the big man, and popped open a Pepsi (he is anti Coca-Cola, but that is another story for another time). He flips a Mt. Dew to the big man, who pops it and crushes it, then belches audibly.
He puts his arm around him with a smile as he slurps his canned drink obnoxiously.
“It’s good to be on top, isn’t it?”
He asked for a couple of the carry-out bags with the big yellow smiley faces. Not that they would need them, but they had two piece-of-trash practice dummies at home and this may make beating on them more enjoyable. Hey, you gotta have a little fun sometimes.
And for Ruby Darling, the trash bags might be an improvement.
"Man, I thought this place was going to be kickass! The match my monster was put into last week, he was teamed with arguably the most over superstar on this entire roster, and he did what he does best--wrecked house and stole the show. Now what is this week? Lets just say his 'competition'--and I use that word with the elactisticy of a rubber band--is a little light in the ass. Ruby Darling like she went to donate blood and forgot to say when. I swear one of My Monster's calves weighs more than Ruby Darling. She can pat herself on the back and have a feel good story, beating the same three people week in and week out live a revolving door.....I bet she thinks she has come a long way and gotten so much better!
I know, I know, I was so cordial with Ms. Myst last week. Sweet, even! But it is because I respect talent. I admire ambition. I attract greatness. Jenny Myst has more talent in one pussy lip than Ruby Darling has in her entire lumpy body. And she knows it. Why do you think Jenny distanced herself? Because she is on top of the world right now and doesn't need a gum-under-the-shoe nobody like Ruby dragging her down. Fuck friendships because you know damn well if the shoe was on the other foot Ruby woulda punted Jenny like it's 4th and Long.
Sorry, but its true.
Morals? Please. Your morals are the reason you suck. That, and sucking.
I've heard better promo work from a 3rd grader with a stutter. I've seen better ring work from chimpanzee with downs syndrome. I've seen better 'work on your flaws' from learning disabled frogs. Listen, toots, the patty cake party is over. You can beat up on the Milk Mason's and Coding Rhodes all you want, but you've never been anything here and you won't be anything here. Why? Well, because you have to go through people like My Monster to do it. This is a lightyear leap for you, but for someone with his accomplishments? It's like we time traveled to the stone age.
This will be a wake up call for you. This is when you will finally realize that you can't cut the mustard, and you'll be begging Chris Page to bring WGWF Dark back so nobody has to see your trash ass in the ring.
The WGWF fans have already petitioning to bring Dark back so nobody has to see your trash ass in the ring. GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT!
Ruby Darling just doesn't move the needle. She couldn't whip cream with an outboard motor. She's a step up from enhancement talent and a step down from being filler talent. The only thing she fills is our nightmares when we have to watch her roll around the ring like a mountain man trying to butt fuck a grizzly bear. Twinkletoes McFingerbang is going to meet my monster Monday Night, and if she is still on the roster by the next show I'll put my house on the line! We are fitting to embarrass me more than she already does to herself everytime she laces up a pair of boots--or whatever the fuck those things are. You stick to your slumber party sleepovers little girl, and leave the wrestling to those who actually matter.
Best believe my monster will swat that little blonde thot away like a gnat if she gets in the way, but our focus is on you. I want you to know exactly what faces you in that ring. I want you to know exactly what one-on-one with the biggest, meanest, most heartless man in wrestling will be like. But don’t worry, he isn’t going to hurt you too badly. We need you as fresh as possible so that WGWF fans can see you choke on the biggest stage before being demoted back to the developmental ranks where you belong. We relish in your incompetence."
“SHE PRETTY” the big man huffed out between bites of Moo Goo Gai Pan.
“No, she is not pretty. She looks like the drugs that killed Brittany Murphy. It's like When you need a quick makeover and all you have is a Crayola wax mixer and a dirty paintbrush.”
“NO. SHE PRETTY.” He slaps the table, making the plates vibrate.
Dick shakes his head before patting him on the shoulder.
“Okay big man, whatever you say.”
“MORE!” He slaps the table again.
Dick jumps, nearly spitting out his Egg Drop Soup.
“Jesus Christ it's like a gunshot.”
He smiles.
“So besides looking the a two dollar whore in a five dollar shirt, we both know you have no shot in that ring. We know what we have, and we know what you want so desperately. The sixty four thousand dollar question is, are you man enough to come and take it?”
"Man, I thought this place was going to be kickass! The match my monster was put into last week, he was teamed with arguably the most over superstar on this entire roster, and he did what he does best--wrecked house and stole the show. Now what is this week? Lets just say his 'competition'--and I use that word with the elactisticy of a rubber band--is a little light in the ass. Ruby Darling like she went to donate blood and forgot to say when. I swear one of My Monster's calves weighs more than Ruby Darling. She can pat herself on the back and have a feel good story, beating the same three people week in and week out live a revolving door.....I bet she thinks she has come a long way and gotten so much better!
I know, I know, I was so cordial with Ms. Myst last week. Sweet, even! But it is because I respect talent. I admire ambition. I attract greatness. Jenny Myst has more talent in one pussy lip than Ruby Darling has in her entire lumpy body. And she knows it. Why do you think Jenny distanced herself? Because she is on top of the world right now and doesn't need a gum-under-the-shoe nobody like Ruby dragging her down. Fuck friendships because you know damn well if the shoe was on the other foot Ruby woulda punted Jenny like it's 4th and Long.
Sorry, but its true.
Morals? Please. Your morals are the reason you suck. That, and sucking.
I've heard better promo work from a 3rd grader with a stutter. I've seen better ring work from chimpanzee with downs syndrome. I've seen better 'work on your flaws' from learning disabled frogs. Listen, toots, the patty cake party is over. You can beat up on the Milk Mason's and Coding Rhodes all you want, but you've never been anything here and you won't be anything here. Why? Well, because you have to go through people like My Monster to do it. This is a lightyear leap for you, but for someone with his accomplishments? It's like we time traveled to the stone age.
This will be a wake up call for you. This is when you will finally realize that you can't cut the mustard, and you'll be begging Chris Page to bring WGWF Dark back so nobody has to see your trash ass in the ring.
The WGWF fans have already petitioning to bring Dark back so nobody has to see your trash ass in the ring. GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT!
Ruby Darling just doesn't move the needle. She couldn't whip cream with an outboard motor. She's a step up from enhancement talent and a step down from being filler talent. The only thing she fills is our nightmares when we have to watch her roll around the ring like a mountain man trying to butt fuck a grizzly bear. Twinkletoes McFingerbang is going to meet my monster Monday Night, and if she is still on the roster by the next show I'll put my house on the line! We are fitting to embarrass me more than she already does to herself everytime she laces up a pair of boots--or whatever the fuck those things are. You stick to your slumber party sleepovers little girl, and leave the wrestling to those who actually matter.
Best believe my monster will swat that little blonde thot away like a gnat if she gets in the way, but our focus is on you. I want you to know exactly what faces you in that ring. I want you to know exactly what one-on-one with the biggest, meanest, most heartless man in wrestling will be like. But don’t worry, he isn’t going to hurt you too badly. We need you as fresh as possible so that WGWF fans can see you choke on the biggest stage before being demoted back to the developmental ranks where you belong. We relish in your incompetence."
“SHE PRETTY” the big man huffed out between bites of Moo Goo Gai Pan.
“No, she is not pretty. She looks like the drugs that killed Brittany Murphy. It's like When you need a quick makeover and all you have is a Crayola wax mixer and a dirty paintbrush.”
“NO. SHE PRETTY.” He slaps the table, making the plates vibrate.
Dick shakes his head before patting him on the shoulder.
“Okay big man, whatever you say.”
“MORE!” He slaps the table again.
Dick jumps, nearly spitting out his Egg Drop Soup.
“Jesus Christ it's like a gunshot.”
He smiles.
“So besides looking the a two dollar whore in a five dollar shirt, we both know you have no shot in that ring. We know what we have, and we know what you want so desperately. The sixty four thousand dollar question is, are you man enough to come and take it?”