Righteously F**ked.
Jun 1, 2024 19:58:57 GMT -5
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Post by Cªptain Rightəºus/Lªɗƴ Łıɓerṭy on Jun 1, 2024 19:58:57 GMT -5
...New York, Prince Industry…
The scene opens in the boardroom of Prince Industries, Captain Righteous sat in a random chair at a large door alone for the most part as he worked a complex Rubiks cube. While no one was there physically Ship was in Captain Righteous ear at all times.
Ship: ”A meeting with the board, duuude, that's not great right?”
Captain Righteous let out a dry chuckle with an emotionless face.
Captain Righteous: ”Pfft, those rats only exist because of me, because of Mom and Dad…I will be fine, plus I have my own thing going.”
Ship: ”oh? With WGWF?”
Captain Righteous: ”Yeppers. But I do not kiss and tell Shipley so you'll just have to tune in to the show!”
Ship: -very stern- ”Shipley was my Father's name, it's Ship. Just Ship…Victor.”
Captain Righteous: ”Do you want me to fly up there and fuck punch your fuelslage coils until you never shit carbon or tungsten bicardials again?”
Ship: ”whoa…whoa…no. I'm sorry, that was rude please don't fuck punch me anywhere. Um, anyways, do you think the board is calling you to audit that uh misunderstanding with Uranus?”
Captain Righteous: ”Shit. Possibly, but I'm standing on what I said, they were dead when I got there…then I killed the Martians.”
Ship: ”I fudged the videos Captain, you've got my support.”
Captain Righteous looked up from his cube with a small fragile smile on his face.
Captain Righteous: ”You are the best…”
The door opened and in shuffled the head of the board, Hustace Copperwaller, and the lawyers twins Eddie and Eddy Hinderbottom.
Captain Righteous: ”The rats are here Ship, I must go…hello gentleman.”
They greeted him with silence and Captain Righteous rolled his blue eyes standing.
Captain Righteous: ”Listen if this is about what happened to the Uranains they were dead when I got there! I mean they eat from their asses mister Copperwaller, what do you do with that? But Martian invasion averted that carries some clout yeah?”
As Captain Righteous continued his rant a new guest arrived Madame Vice President of the United fucking States.
Madame Vice President: ”Save it Victor.”
Bitch, he thought to himself. As they sat and offered Captain Righteous a seat he just stared, defiant as ever. Fuckin rats. He could explode tear and fuck everyone in this room before security could pinch their 1,000's of shits in the morning. Then them too. Nothing could stop him, except his wrestling dream. He still wanted that.
Madame Vice President: ”In light of your recently granted extracurricular privileges and now that you are out the existence of aliens…the secret of your existence..”
Hustace Copperweller: ”...or your very gray questionable moral compass…”
The Lawyer Twins Together: ”All the violence.”
Captain Righteous: ”*scoff* I get things done!”
Madame Vice President: ”...no you create problems by solve problems without a second thought to the outcome Captain Righteous! To make sure you don't cause to much collateral while you pursue this silly wrestling dream of yours let me introduce you to Lady Liberty…”
The door opens again and strutting through the door is a small petite blonde woman dressed almost comically (at least to Captain Righteous who thought she looked silly) in a superhero outfit.
Lady Liberty: ”Thank you Madame Vice President…Captain Righteous it is a honor to finally meet you, I've been follo-”
Captain Righteous interrupts with a fit of barking laughter looking at everyone at the table.
Captain Righteous: ”What the fuck is this? Why…why does she sound so horrid?! What is that accent? Is this an episode of Fargo?”
Lady Liberty: ”I'm actually from South Dakota dontcha know?!”
Captain Righteous: ”Stop…seriously…what can she even do to “police me”..”
Now everyone looked smugger than the Captain. Madame Vice President took a seat and nodded at Lady Liberty who simply floated above and over the meeting table which instantly made Captain Righteous trigger a fight instinct by floating himself…he'd never seen another living creature do that, because that was his thing! She still approached closing the distance by flight when she cocked back and PUNCHED CAPTAIN RIGHTEOUS IN THE FACE SENDING HIM SAILING INTO A LARGE CONCRETE WALL! And just like that Captain Righteous launched into an attack spearing Lady Liberty through a large thick plate of glass, spilling them both into the night air. The pair would fight for hours in the sky above with hundreds of millions of people watching and filming.
Eustace Copperwaller: ”I hope you are right about this Madame Vice President, he didn't look happy.”
Madame Vice President sat back in her chair smug and happy, a smirk of great condescension wilted on her face.
Madame Vice President: ”She'll do for now, perhaps she will beat some of that fire within Victor make him more manageable…plus I think we found someone within the organization of WGWF that will dampen his little wet dream
I'll work the angle in due time.”
She twisted her imaginary evil mustache as the board minions laughed evily....A top a New York SKYscraper…
The pair, Captain Righteous and Lady Liberty, come to a crashing landing! Dust and pieces of shrapnel explode into the air…Captain Righteous slowly stands with mild damage, a red spot beside his left eye and dry blood from under his nose were his only markings. While Lady Liberty looked a little more beat up, he grabbed her up by the front of her outfit pulling her close to his face.
Captain Righteous: ”Never think you're better little Missy! And don't ever get in my way, understood? I will destroy you like I WILL destroy those gold seeking cucks! Do you want to see the extent of my power ?! You just show up for my match and watch a God amongst men…”
He tosses her off the skyscraper and takes off into the night air towards Ship....Prince Towers…
The Captain stands before a giant tower of screens displaying various talents of the WGWF.
Captain Righteous: ”The day is approaching…my “debut”...my real debut, the start of a new life. The accumulation of years of child abandonment, self fucking sacrifice for this country…*Captain Righteous turns to face the camera; lacing his hands behind his back*...this world. And what does it say about me? Getting a shot at the Blood Bath Championship! I didn't even have to earn it, I just submitted my fancy application and the board got so hard about me …*he holds his hands out smirking with a satisfying sigh*...”
Returning his hands behind his back Captain Righteous begins to pace, stoically, his cape whipping with a snap with each turn on his red heavy boots.
Captain Righteous: ”I'm Captain Righteous for those who haven't found the time to learn, but my opponents are going to know far more about me than the fans ever will but then again I'm not opposed to collateral damages so even if you the fans of WGWF get in my way I won't ever hesitate to Righteously Purge you too!”
Captain Righteous points hard at the camera as he addresses the fans, his smile seemingly growing wider as he rants.
Captain Righteous: ”Now that caution has been tossed in the wind and innocent bystanders warned, Al fucking Gorilla, Hank, I don't usually partake in the outright beating of animals…it's a disgusting human trait but we're going to be in fucking Pittsburgh which is just Philadelphia so a zoo inside of a zoo where the animals are watching the people fuckkng fight a literal Gorilla. I hate Pittsburgh just as much as I hate the idea of this match but not as much as animal abuse…”
Again the Captain shrugs.
Captain Righteous: ”Gideon King. What. A. Bitch. Am I right?”
All of the monitors change to various angles of the man's most recent rubbish. Images of his brother and of his Mother, oddly enough to many of the man's Mother.
Captain Righteous: ”First things first King, you don't know me and you surely can't compare me to a fucking Gorilla or a Bull, you can't possibly believe that I am a man who is going to run or fly off when danger comes to my doorstep? Boy I've done more things with my life on this planet than you've ever done before you could even crawl your way out of your dusty mother's snootch! Yet you compared me to a flamingo, Giddy, win or lose for me makes no shit but I got a feeling it's going to mean a lot more to you so I am making it my personal mission to make sure you don't win! Ever. I've never had an archenemy, never had an Equal either but I'll settle for you being that titular character in my story, congratulations Giddy Boy! I hope you look over your shoulders for the rest of your pathetic career, because I'll be there every. Fucking. Time. Then I'm going to deliver you all black and blue to your dearest Mother…”
Captain Righteous begins to imitate Momma King in an old feeble mocking manner.
Captain Righteous: ”Momma King will say; my boy what did you do to my boy again Captain Righteous!? My make a wish is to wish you'd stop!
*Captain Righteous does the ‘wah-wah’ taunt*
and I'll laugh and I'll point at the destroyed Giddy Boy and I'll tell Momma King this: I REMINDED YOUR BOY WHY GODS TRUMP KINGS YOU OLD HAG! And then I'll Righteous Purge her Giddy! There are levels in life Gideon! Gods over King's! God's over King's!”
Captain Righteous repeated this for another twenty two minutes smashing monitor after monitor! When he finally stops Righteous pushes his hair back regaining his composure. Smiling as creepily as possible.
Captain Righteous: ”...so run and tell that to your Momma bitch.”
Once again the remaining monitors begin to piece together a giant image of Corey Bull during his most recent tirade.
Captain Righteous: ”Now this guy, this guy is fucking insane and let me be real frank here when I say this Corey..*ring ring* Righteous picks up a pretend phone*...hello? Oh Corey it's Abigail and she said she's not dead she's just hiding from your crazy ass!! Lord Christ who signed this guy? What's the insurance policy for this fucking animal?! Who gave this guy and all his little voices the choice of an asylum or professional wrestling? You dropped the ball! I mean really stretched out our assholes here with this psycho and with this match boy, you've really made a barn yard slaughter of things.
Corey…and all the little people in your head..you
…
You….and you…”
The ‘You’ sounded like they faded from any and everywhere, all at once.
Captain Righteous: ”I don't want your belt, I'll take the action, but I don't want something so trivial why? Because you and I buddy are the fucking predators on this planet, well you are like the mind fucking kind with all the blood and guts and no glory kind…the predator who haunts dreams and darkness..I'm here to remind you..
…you…and you..
You…
……..you…
That you are still just a man. A crazy one. Me *points to himself* Captain Righteous is an Apex Predator. I am what the human race needs to be humbled. I am what they need to know is lurking behind you.”
Righteous nods vigorously believing his every word.
Captain Righteous: ”Corey…King…and fucking Hank Gorilla…at Pittsburgh you are all Righteously Fucked!”
The scene fades as Righteous begins to float away, poised as the self absorbed valiant Hero he thinks he is.