[JMONT] Case Solved by the NEW IC Champ! [ACEVENTURA]
Apr 18, 2024 22:37:18 GMT -5
Amber Mansley likes this
Post by jmonttwizted on Apr 18, 2024 22:37:18 GMT -5
LACES OUT! DIE DEVLIN!
If you have no idea what that means, then you are dumber than Joe Biden who has done many things to make himself the dumbest man in America. The only reason Devlin didn’t surpass Biden for dumbest man in America is because he is not running for re-election. He didn’t allow the border crisis to get even worse. He didn't allow Iran to attack US forces. He didn't allow a Chinese spy balloon to violate US airspace. All of that gave Joe Biden the edge over Devlin for dumbest man in America today. Some would argue that Devlin going after JMont is the dumbest idea in the world, but it's hard to argue the fact that Biden really is the dumbest with all of his decisions he has made. But, maybe the dumbest man in America outcome could change after Wrestle Wars when Devlin not only loses his IC title to JMont, he also loses the war as well.
ALRIGHTY THEN!
And if you know JMont, then you know this man will do anything he can to not only win, but garner all the attention and spotlight. Sure, JMont has been ignoring Devlin for the most part, but there is a method to the madness. The master of the mind games is always in the head of Devlin which gives JMont the advantage at all times. But, even a Screech Powers gets lucky and fucks a girl off a website which is the same thing when Devlin got lucky on his attack of JMont. Devin found a 4 leaf clover that night and the odds were in his favor. But come Wrestle Wars, the odds won't be in his favor because like a 4 leaf clover, those odds are 1 in 10,000.
DO NOT GO IN THERE! PHEEWW! YES, DEVLIN SMELLS LIKE SHIT!
And with that, you can hear the sound of a toilet flush in the bedroom of JMont. The same sound that Devlin is going to be hearing of his career when the hand of J Mont is raised and the IC Title is handed to him. As the bathroom door swings open, JMont walks out like he is the winner of the People’s Magazine “Sexiest Man Alive” award. No one else is in the room to witness his masterful appearance out of the bathroom, but you can hear sounds coming from the kitchen where Mia & Gia must be. JMont walks over to the dresser and opens the middle drawer. A smirk crosses his face, which means he is up to something.
JMONT: Everyone that knows me knows that AMAZON is the best way to get a delivery. Just ask Allison Riggs Preston!
Laughing at his own joke, JMont pulls out a package from the drawer, and sorry ladies, it wasn’t the package that you all want to see. As JMont closes the drawer, he makes his way towards the bed. Laying the package down on the bed, JMont takes off his wife beater and drops his shorts to leave him standing there in a pair of silk Gucci Boxer briefs. We all know right now Jenny Myst & Kat Jones wish they were in the room to take advantage of the JMont Missile.
OBSESS MUCH?
JMont knows everyone is either wanting to know what his next move is, wanting him or wanting to be him. Sorry Devlin, but I will always be Joe Montuori. I do not need to change names or hairstyles to better myself bitch. Then, you can hear the beautiful voice of JMont take off into the air.
JMONT: WHY YOU SO OBSESSED WITH ME? YOU'RE DELUSIONAL! DEVLIN, YOU'RE LOSING YOUR MIND. YOUR CONFUSED! YOU KNOW, WHY YOU WASTING YOUR TIME!
JMont might end up going on tour with Mariah Carey after she hears how well he bolted out that song she wrote. But, as the quick verse comes to an end, JMont leans down and picks the package back up from the bed. As he rips it open, he is acting like a 6 year old on Christmas who just got a Playstation. The package is finally open and JMont starts to pull stuff out of it. And for the love of god, you will not believe your eyes. It’s an adult Ace Ventura Pet Detective Costume & Wig Accessory Outfit. It comes complete with the Hawaiian shirt, the striped pants, the wig, the badge card, the black boots and a stuffed bird.
JMONT: LOO-OOO-SER! That is what the headlines will be reading after Wrestle Wars towards Fred, i mean Devlin.
JMont begins to one by one put on the Ace Ventura costume. And after a few minutes, you would think today is October 31st, Halloween. JMont looks ready to solve any case thrown his way. But before he leaves the bedroom he has to get a good look at what he has done to himself here. Walking over to the long 7 foot mirror on the bathroom door, JMont is pleased with his choice.
JMONT: Like a GLOVE!
JMont is finally ready to exit the bedroom and see the reaction from his wife Mia, and daughter Gia. JMont takes a deep breath and opens the door. He makes a turn to the right, which is the way to the kitchen where the prior sounds were coming from. As he gets closer, he can't help but smile because he knows Mia is going to rip on him like he does to everyone. Not wasting anymore time, JMont enters the kitchen and the facial expression by Gia is priceless. She is smiling, laughing and confused all at the same time. Mia, who is cooking something on the stove, turns around and gets startled for a moment before busting out in laughter.
MIA: Aye Captain Stubing. How are Gopher and Doc? Permission to come aboard, sir?
Mia cannot help herself right now. Gia doesn't know what to think, but is laughing because her dad looks crazy with the costume he has on. JMont walks over and leans in to kiss Mia before she stops him.
MIA: Where is Dan Marino?
JMONT: Probably at the nursing home with Chris Page playing Bingo. Why?
MIA: O69!
As Mia smiles, JMont pushes in towards her as her back is against the cabinet. Forgetting where he is, JMont starts to kiss on the neck of Mia who is starting to get in the mood, when all of a sudden, you hear a little voice.
GIA: Daddy……..bird fell down.
Mia & JMont know they need to stop what they are doing as JMont bends down and picks up the bird. He walks towards Gia who he hands the bird to. Then leans down and gives her a big kiss on her cheek. Daddy’s little girl is smiling and happy. The Father of the Year will do anything for his girls.
MIA: I hope you like Duck Breasts with Apricot Chutney, because that is what I'm making right now.
Not sure if JMont is really listening to Mia because he is now sitting on the couch, looking down at the coffee table.
JMONT: Breasts for dinner are fine by me babe.
Mia shakes her head but she knows what she married and she would not change a thing. But back at the couch, JMont notices a magazine on the coffee table. Talk about a blast from the past.
JMONT: Babe! Where did you find this IIW magazine with me on the cover? I thought it was lost, like Devlin’s mind.
MIA: It was mixed in with a bunch of my Cosmopolitan magazines. I also figured it would help you a little to remind you that you are the King, and that Devlin will always be in your shadow. You are the center of the front cover being declared the Present and Future of the IIW as International Champion and soon to be World Champion. And look at the bottom right corner. It has Fred Debonairs name and says UK Champ thanks to The Mecca.
JMont sits back on the couch, with full costume still on and stares at the cover of the magazine. The thoughts and voices in his head are running wild.
JMONT: I guess this is what it has all come down to. I am going to have to act as a violent detective here and beat Devlin down so badly that when he wakes up, he will be Fred Debonair again. Devlin wants to forget about the good ol days when we ran together. When we ran over the competition in any fed that we stepped into. He wants to forget about all the negative things we did in the industry. Forgive me lord, but you are not Pope John Devlin the 8th. You are a fraud that is trying to get attention and people on his side because you cannot do anything on your own. You are worse than the crooked Pastor from Denver, Eli Regalado who stole money from the church.
Before JMont could think of more words to say, something came to his mind.
J MONT: Exhibit A here as to why you came back as Devlin Knight is pretty simple. You are trying to get out of my shadow and make your own way. I commend you on that Devlin, but there is only 1 problem with that. You are trying to BE ME! And there is and will only be 1 JMONT to ever grace this industry. You can try to form an army to stop me, but that won't work. You can try to play mind games but that won't work. Nice try too using my music to make people think i was coming out to the ring that night. Best part of that was the RATINGS. They were sky high when my music was playing, but once you walked out, the ratings dropped faster than the marriage of Jason ALexander & Britney Spears.
JMont shakes his head at the thought of Devlin trying to take down the empire that he has built.
JMONT: Sure enough Fred, I mean Devlin, you are playing a game you cannot win. You may think you have the upperhand here because you cried to management to get this match and they booked it. You may think that getting Sonya Benson kicked out of the WGWF is going to set me back. You think that with Clyde Newton gone, you have this match in the bag. You think management is behind you one hundred and ten percent because, in reality, I am not under contract with the WGWF anymore. But, all of that is going in my favor. You should know me better than most now Devlin. When you mess with family, there is no turning back. That is what you and WGWF management have done when it comes to myself, Sonya & Clyde.
JMont opens the magazine to the center page as it drops down to a large poster of him holding the IIW International Title and the quote “World Title Next?”
JMONT: You see Devlin, all you and management have done is pissed me off to the point that I don't care what happens to you or anyone in that ring. I don't have a contract. I don't have any rules I need to follow. They can't fire me, but I can drive off into the Sunset with the IC Title and make love on top of it with Mia. The WGWF made the mistake of not giving me what I want to resign. Now, I am going to stick it to them and take the IC title home and they will never see it again. I am going to make sure there is a special JKO in your life for Sonya and one for Clyde. You took my little brother from me and my BESTIE from me. You are going to regret ever doing that. There is a reason everyone always had me pegged higher up then you. There is always a reason why I Main Evented the shows and you didn't. There is always a reason why you were always one step behind me, Devlin.
I'M JUST BETTER THAN YOU!
JMont turns the page and sees a picture of Fred Debonair holding the IIW UK Title.
JMONT: That is all you are Devlin. You are a second tier wrestler. You're a B Player. Thanks to you, I'm not Main Eventing Night 1. But I guess, just one more time I need to remind the fans and the industry just how dangerous and calculated JMont is. You have never beaten me, Fred or Devlin, and I will not let it start now. You will not collect 200 and pass GO for the win. I am going to punch you so hard in the face because I hate you so much Devlin that you are going to go from Baltic Ave to Boardwalk in one shot.
RECEIPTS, WHAT ABOUT RECEIPTS? THERE’S GOTTA BE RECEIPTS!
JMONT: And my favorite thing you always love to bring up Devlin was when you were Fred and you won a Fatal 4 way match versus myself, Cable & Bane. But guess what? You didn't pin me. You pinned John Cable while I was throwing Mac around like a lawn dart outside the ring. You won the match, but did not PIN ME! And as a matter of fact, I could say I have never beaten you either but there is some proof in the pudding that I do have your number. International Championship, 7 man Battle Royal match. I threw your ass out and won the title. The 30 man Ice Crown Rumble that you desperately wanted to win. Oh yeah. I won that too. And the War Games match with Mecca vs the IIW. I got the pin for Team Mecca to stand tall. And I won the World Title there too. I could see the jealousy all over your face. You were acting like AC Slater when Zack got Kelly all to himself. You couldn't stand the fact that I was on top of the world. You were way below me fighting the second tier guys that were happy to get TV time and 5k per match.
JMont throws the magazine back onto the coffee table and perches himself up off the couch. He sees Gia is still playing with the stuffed bird, while Mia is cooking a home cooked meal for the family.
JMONT: You see Devlin, I am living the life you wish you had. I have it all. A beautiful wife. An Amazing daughter. A Hall of Fame Career. And all the money to buy whatever I want. I don't need the WGWF. They need me. I already have shown management and the world what I bring to the table. You saw the last 2 shows that I didn't attend. The ratings were in the shitter. More people tuned into the reruns of Melrose Place than Brawl & Smash. I loved it. So, I guess as a goodwill gesture on the way out, I will take that IC title from you and the WGWF and be on my way. I can add it to the WGWF World Title that I have won here before. Something that you have YET to do here, but I have. Do yourself a favor Fred, I mean Devlin. Just stay in my shadow where it's safe for you. You trying to do the noble thing here is going to get you hurt and having to go to the DMV again to get your license changed back to Fred Debonair. You brought this upon yourself Devlin. I tried to play nice when you came back and welcomed you back home. But you chose the wrong path down the yellow brick road. Now I am going to have to drop a house on you and throw some water on you to watch you melt away.
DEVLIN AND FRED! DEVLIN AND FRED! DEVLIN AND FRED! DEVLIN AND FRED! DEVLIN AND FRED! DEVLIN! FRED! DEVLIN! FRED! FRED AND DEVLIN!
FRED IS DEVLIN!
DEVLIN IS A BITCH!
FRED IS DEVLIN!
DEVLIN IS A BITCH!
JMont knows all about the situation when it comes to Fred & Devlin. JMont respects Fred, but has no love for Devlin. People think JMont is out of his mind with this, but it all comes down to the mind games he can play, and using it to his advantage. As JMont shakes his head, he walks back into the kitchen where something smells good and not like shit, which is the career of Devlin.
JMONT: You are really putting it down in the kitchen babe!
MIA: Wanted to make sure you had a nice home cooked meal before your big match.
JMONT: I guess you can call it a big match. It's not the Main Event and it's against a mid tier douchebag.
MIA: Take Devlin’s Title and show him why you have respect for Fred and not Devlin.
JMONT: It will be nice to get one last home cooked meal before WE take the IC title on a nice cruise with US for a while.
MIA: Good luck to WGWF management when they have to figure out what to do now that their NEW IC Champ is in another country with their title belt.
J MONT: You mean the Intercontinental Mont Belt!
Mia comes over and gives JMont a big kiss on the lips. Gia looks a little jealous because she is daddy’s little girl. JMont walks over and gives Gia another kiss on the cheek. The Mont family is standing tall and will after Wrestle Wars. JMont, still in his Ace Ventura, Pet Detective costume has one more food for thought.
JMONT: Just like Finkle, you are going to choke when the game is on the line. Just like how he missed the 26 yard field goal to win the Super Bowl, you are going to lose your train of thought trying to outdo me and lose your IC title.
LACES OUT! JMONT NEW IC CHAMP!