Post by lajohnnystylez on Mar 9, 2024 23:07:52 GMT -5
(Sorry meant to have this done sooner but got stupid busy at work, I had to pay someone to cover me so I could duck out and finish it, I will format it when I get off in an hour or so, but I finished writing hit copy paste here it is)
After what many people will look back on as a VeRy
~!$!~ E.X.P.L.O.S.I.V.E. ~!$!~
EDiTiON oF MoNDay NiGHT SMASH…AKA THe BeTTeR BRaND (DUHHHH)
WGWF fan excitement is at an all time high as the ship appears to be full steam ahead in continuing the ceaseless struggle to blaze a trail through the tough terrain that is pro wrestling. Now with LAST CHANCE in the rearview and WRESTLE WARS just beyond the dawn the road that lie in between them may as well be the literal
!!!!HiGHWay 2 HeLL!!!!!
…SPeCiaLLy iF UR NaMe iS RaGNaRoK or PeTeR VaUGHN!!!
Cause our very next pitstop is slated to at the very least be something of a HiSToRiKaL AFFAIR! A subject that has generated a great deal of buzz around the WGWF is the birth of it’s BLOODBATH DiViSiON. A brand new CHAMPIONSHIP that will look to set the tone for what it means to be hardcore in the WGWF and perhaps even in all of pro wrestling period! Many of the WGWF’s best and brightest have cast their names into the lot, and a CHAMPION WILL BE CROWNED at the WRESTLE WARZ PPV.
HoWEVeR LaDiEZ and GeNTZ and EVeRyTHiNG EL$e In BeTWeeN…
The reason this episode of SMASH will be such a momentous occasion is due to the fact that the very first match in the BLOODBATH division will take place live Monday Night as the former WGWF World Heavyweight Champion, “The TooL”...Err SoRRy “THE MECHANIC” Peter Vaughn goes one on one with The BoURBoN STReeT BaD GUy, LA Johnny Stylez in a match that should very well set the stage for what fans and talent alike can expect from the WGWF’s latest innovation known as the BLOODBATH DiVi$iON!
BuT FoRe We CaN GeT THeRe, We GoTTa NuDDaH SToP 2 MaKe!!!
So on behalf of the SMASH brand’s new favorite DiSaSTeRoUS DuO, whom shall from HeNCe FouRTH be collectively known as
~$~ ToXiK ~$~
CaUSe WHaT EL$e Do Ya CaLL TwO MuDDaH PHUCKERZ WHo iZ So GooD @ BeIN BaD, As THey ARe BaD @ BeIN GooD, RiGHT?...RIGHT!!!
…Anyway so like we waz tryin to tell ya, ToXiK was hoping to welcome you all…Once again to
New Orleanz, LoUiSiaNa! The very city that just hosted the NoT As GooD BRaND of the WGWF known as BRAWL, and also The home of the TiNSLeToWn TRouBLe MaKeR, LA Johnny Stylez! The two were already in town and were in attendance for the last episode of BRAWL, as Johnny made sure to be there so he could scout the man he is scheduled to go to war with in less than a week in Peter Vaughn who came up a cunt hair short of walking into his match on SMASH against THe DoN oF DI$Re$PeCT as the new WGWF Intercontinental Champion WoMP WOMPPPPPPP.
But as if you all needed another reason to SMiLe as you can see for yourselves as we slowly make our way through the FRENCH QUARTER it just so happens to be a particularly beautiful day in the Big Ea$y. We pass the several shops, restaurants, and of course BARS that never close…LiKe EVER! We eventually find ourselves looking at an establishing shot of Jackson Square, the very center of the Quarter itself. Then making their way into our line of sight stage left is none other than the very two people responsible for making MONDAY NIGHT SMASH the most explosive night in it’s short yet strong run!
Johnny Stylez and Synn are making their way down the street passing by people passed out on the ground after
!!!!!ONe oF THo$e KiNDa NiGHTZ!!!!!
THaT THiS HeRe CiTy iS INFaMoU$ 4!!!
We also pass a few street musicians, and other various street performers that inhabit this particular section of the French Quarter pretty much everyday of the week. Our view of the two is directly behind them as they casually stroll down the street. Johnny’s assistant and other partner in crime Ms. BeHaVe is not too far behind them, and despite the smile painted on her face she doesn’t seem particularly happy. But we really don’t have time to assess what that shit’s about because suddenly we see Synn take a large step in front of Johnny stopping him dead in his tracks, as she throws her hands up saying…
Synn: WOAH! OK hold up time out! I mean I know it’s a nice day and all, but you mind telling me why the hell we couldn’t just uber to wherever the hell it is we are going?
LA Johnny Stylez: Cause it’s a GoRGeOuS DAY CRAZY LADY! Fresh air never killed nobody!
Synn aint buyin that shit…Nor should she. SO she just raises an eyebrow letting Mr. Stylez know she is far from amused. SO a sly smile creeps across his face as he lowers his white thick rimmed sunglasses and retortz…
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah well…See THe THiNG ABoUT THaT
Scene then switches to a few weeks ago where we see Johnny Stylez still in his wrestling gear and SeRyOuS face paint storming out of the New Orleans airport to a white KIA SUV parked in front of it. The nerdy face of the middle aged white DuDe F’N GooBeR that was to be Johnny’s UBER driver sits with his jaw on the ground and his thick black glasses hanging on to the bottom of his nose for dear life, is struck dumb when Je$TyR walks up and opens the passenger side door.
Uber Driver: Um, sir I’m pretty sure you gotta like sit in the back man!? Wait are you really?
LA Johnny Stylez: Yup sure AM ASSHAT, and that is why I can sit where…EVeR THE PHuCK I FeeL LiKe, so come on DiLDO we’re burning MooNLiGHT!!!!
The dumbstruck UBER driver weighs his options briefly before reaching for the knob to turn his stereo up. Johnny hears whichever Taylor Swift song they are playing 28 times a day and immediately almost instinctevlty slaps the driver’s hand as he then takes the liberty to solving this here DeBaCLE. He presses the buttons allowing him to disconnect the driver’s Bluetooth so he could connect his own. Then suddenly BEHIND CLOSED DOORS by Rise Against begins blaring over the speakers, as Jestyr turns it all the way up and gives the driver a solid THUMBS UP, as he puts the car in drive and so it begins…
Scene then switches to a few moments later as they are sitting at a red light in bumper to bumper traffic. Johnny seems visibly agitated as he rolls the window up and down a few times as he watches his driver completely stop at a light that just turned yellow. Jestyr then rolls his eyes and again almost instinctively reaches in his suitcoat pocket and removes a glimmering silver glock .45 and firmly presses it against the driver’s cheek as he says…
Je$TyR SeRyOU$: Say something FUN!!! Ohh and in Louisiana RED means stop, GREEN means go…YELLOW means
!!!!!GO FASTER!!!!!
MOTHER PHUCKER!!!!
Ohhh LooKy THeRE LIGHTS GREEN, so now that you know what that means there really is no reason for us to be not moving, so come on let’s get to gettin Henry!
Uber Driver; My name’s not…
Scene then immediately switches back to the present where we see Synn glaring at Johnny Stylez like he was the biggest MO-MO she’s ever seen, and I mean of course he notices this, and asks even though he knows…
LA Johnny Stylez: What?
Synn: DON’T WHAT ME! How are you not in jail?
LA Johnny Stylez: Well look around dear…We’re in New Orleans…MY CITY, but I suppose you want specifics, K then well I’d say money, an autograph, a selfie, ohh and well as you very well know ole BeHaVe back there can be quite convincing when she wants to be!
Synn turns her head and gives Behave one of them looks girls like to give one another when they don’t wanna be rude out loud so they just use slight facial expressions that are left up to interpretation. It’s weird but we don’t have time to get into any of that!
LA Johnny Stylez: Sides why you so worried about how we are going to get where we are going when you, ya know DoNT EVeN KNoW WHeRe WE’Re GoIN???
Synn: Because ASS, you said we were going to get something to eat, and well we’ve been walking for blocks and everything smells delicious, and we have literally passed 17 restaurants! So forgive me for being blunt but WHAT THE FUCK?
LA Johnny Stylez: OK first CooL OuT MaMa, it’s too pretty a day to do all this, huh? And I promise I’ll take you to get something to eat as soon as we’re done! And if you BeHAVe YOURSELF…No PuN INTeNDeD, then I’ll bring you to that lil joint across the street where all them people are waiting in line..It’s called Cafe DuMonde it’s world famous!
Synn: Wait you said AFTER?!? AFTER WHAT?
LA Johnny Stylez: Ohh ya know what I may have neglected to mention that before we grab a bite there is some business I need to take care of, but don’t worry we will prolly be in and out…SUPER SUPER QUICK!
Synn: Why do I get the feeling that’s not the first time you’ve made that promise today?
LA Johnny Stylez: HEY EASY WITH ALL THAT JUNIPER! Ohh and I been meaning to ask ya…What the heck is a JUNIPER anyway?
Synn: Aside from a name you are not allowed to call me EVER? I dunno google it? But look can we at least take a cab or one of these donkey carriages?
LA Johnny Stylez: NO NEED…We’Re HERE!!!
Johnny then slightly nods to his left as we find that they are now standing directly in front of the defining landmark in the entire French Quarter, the St. Louis Cathedral. One of the grandest churches in the entire United States. Synn turns her head and looks at the building and we watch the expression on her face go from SyNNiKaL (HA SEE WHAT I DID THERE?) to agitated with perhaps a dash of pissed off as she shakes her head and says the only thing she needs to…
Synn: Um, yeah…NO!
Johnny chuckles to himself as he just looks at her with that arrogant smirk plastered across his face and simply nods his head YES.
Synn: NO! HELL NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT!
Johnny’s chuckle then turns to full blown laughter as he turns to Ms. Behave and says…
LA Johnny Stylez: BEHAVE would you be a PEACH and go on and run up the road and tell the fellas over at Mr. B’s we will be by shortly?
Ms. BeHaVe: SuRE THING MR. J! Regular table?
LA Johnny Stylez: Nah we’ll sit outside today!
Synn: WAIT HOLD ON…Why the hell does she get to get out of this?
Johnny and Behave stop dead in their tracks as they glare at each other awkwardly as Johnny’s grin becomes a tad more devious as he looks at her throwing his hands up motioning for Behave to answer their new friend’s ?
Ms. BeHaVe: I have been asked the New Orleans Police Department to refrain from accompanying Mr. J or even entering the building…
Johnny walks over and throws his arm over BeHaVe’s shoulders and shakes her a little bit kissing her on her head as he bids her do the one thing she don’t wanna..
LA Johnny Stylez: K…NOW TeLL er WHY!
Ms. BeHaVe: Cause everytime I have gone in there I have tried to bang the priests!
Johnny’s laughter echoes throughout the entirety of Jackson Square so much so even Synn is doing her best to keep from doing the same, which naturally makes BeHaVe a lil defensive…
Ms. BeHaVe: WHAT? I’m like pretty sure I probably wouldn’t do it, I really just like watching em squirm!
Synn: THERE! See finally SOMETHING I CAN RELATE TO! Well come on then the only way we’re ever gunna get this over with is if we get it over with!
LA Johnny Stylez: FAIR ENOUGH, COME ON THIS IS GUNNA BE THE BEST!!!
Synn: I DOUBT IT!
Scene then immediately cuts to inside the grand structure of one of the oldest churches in the country. Yet time has not done to this building what it has to practically everything else. Handcrafted stained glass windows, Renaissance inspired statues, not to mention the enormous Spanish architecture that makes this one of the most impressive buildings in all of New Orleans.
Our view is from high in the air as the doors slowly open and in walk our two favorite ToXiK TRoUBLEMaKeRZ! Johnny walks over and dips the tip of his finger into the bowl of holy water and uses it to make the sign of the cross. He nods in the bowl’s direction inviting Synn to do the same. SHe however responds with the roll of her eyes and a jerking off motion with her hands. Johnny smirks and shrugs his shoulders knowing this isn’t the proper hill to die on, not with a hangry dangerous lady like JuNiPER SyNN…OOPS SoRRy that one SLIPPED!!!
So as they make their way down the long aisle Synn decides to forgo the main rule in Churches, and decides to not just break the silence but shatter it into as many pieces as she could, cause well who was gunna say shit to these two?
Synn: Ya know I have to say I’m honestly surprised I didn’t take you for a “holy roller?”
LA Johnny Stylez: HARDLY! Look I was raised in an orphanage that used to be like three blocks from here, so I was raised Catholic, and well you do something everyday for 12 years some of it is bound to stick, plus a man’s gotta believe in something! And it may be silly, but I have found it actually works. And well given what lies directly ahead of me I deem it absolutely necessary that I stop and consult THe DiViNe and ask for things that I’m not capable of!
Synn: Wait are you admitting that you came here to pray to God to beat Peter Vaughn?
LA Johnny Stylez: Hmm, let me see how should I put this…Ohh wait GoT IT…
!!!!HA!!!!!
AS F’N IF LaDy!!!!
I won’t need help from any divine power to accomplish the task at hand! What I need is guidance to ensure I retain the proper perspective. I need the strength to have the resolve to do whatever is necessary to see this thing all the way through, and then finally for mercy…
Synn: Mercy?
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah cause ole PeTeR PiPeR is gunna
!!!!!F’N HaVe NeeD oF IT!!!!!
AnD SiNCe He’LL GeT NoNe FRoM Me IT’S GuNNa NeeD 2 CoMe FRoM SoMeWHeRe,
…Can I GeT AN AMEN?
And well he strikes me as the type of guy who is too proud to ask for it himself, so I am doing him a solid…I did the same thing for that dildo
!!!!!MaTT KNoX!!!!!
WHeN I ASKeD THe LoRD TO CuRE HiM oF HiS DOUCHE BaGGeRy, BuT THeN I ReaLiZeD Bill COsby WiLL GeT PaRDoNeD AND APPOINTED BaBy SiTTeR in THE WHITE HOUSE BeFoRE THAT SHIT EVER HAPPENZ!!!
Ohh well not even Tom Brady won every Super Bowl he went to?
Synn: What the fuck is a Tom Brady?
LA Johnny Stylez: See I knew I liked you!
Synn: K so how you gunna get all this?
LA Johnny Stylez: Come on over here and I’ll show you. You don’t gotta do it, but I’m tellin ya it helps, I don’t know why but it does…See here watch…
Johnny then fully gets down on his knees making the sign of the cross. Then with the most genuinely sincere look you have ever seen on his face he begins doing that thing he does again…
LA Johnny Stylez: DEAR SWEET BABY JESUS, it’s Me AGAIN! But I didn’t come here today to talk about me, I seek your assistance today in asking that you keep a close eye on your child who goes by the name PeTeR VauGHN. I ask that you please watch over him LORD cause this mother phucker is clearly
!!!!L.O.S.T.!!!!
And He Doesn’t Yet Understand That Sometimes It Aint Even Safe For The SHEPHERD TO WaNDeR FaR FRoM THe FLOCK!
He ventures onto dangerous ground and just like that dude in the Bible, he has no friggin clue he is walking in the valley with the shadow of death or however it goes. I doubt his ability to complete this journey not due to lack of ability because I’ll even admit I know he is capable as anyone in this thing if not more so, but not even all of that will count for much when faced with the truth that he hasn’t the faintest idea what he is even fighting for! He may be as SaDiSTIC as they claimed he was Lord, truly capable of holding his own in a hardcore environment. But this conflict we are both headed towards is about more than that, it’s much much bigger. Because what he fails to realize is just being able to hold your own in a tough environment isn’t gunna
!!!!QuiTe CuT IT!!!!!
THE BLOODBATH DIVISION IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT MORE, AND ONLY I CAN SHOW HIM, AND WELL THEM TOO!!!
And if he hopes to emerge victorious in the end then he is going to have to be willing to take this beyond the borders of where I am willing and fully prepared to, and well if he is able to pull that RaBBiT out of his JaCKHoLe then and only then will he prove himself worthy of claiming residence in the den of bloodlust violence that will become the BLOODBATH DiViSiOn which I will eventually become the CHAMPION OF! But the truth he needs to be confronted with Lord is that he considers himself a
!!!!!MeCHaNiC!!!!!
MeaNING IT iS In HIS VeRy NaTuRe To FIX, REPAIR, and ReSToRE!!!
And well that aint what this shit is finna be about! No quite the opposite actually! This will be about mayhem, chaos, and my personal favorite
!!!!!De$TRuCTiON!!!!
SWeeT SeXy ToTaL D-E-S-T-R-U-C-T-I-O-N!!!!
Also I ask that you make sure he notices that I didn’t spend a great deal of time and effort I have to others in a attempt to disrespect them and everything they stand for, and I did so for a reason. I did so because I want him to know I don’t need to do that with him. Not here
!!!!!NoT NOW!!!!!
…NoT NeVeR!!!!
I am willing to stand nose to nose with him, stand toe to toe, and go blow for phucking blow, and come whatever may one thing I promise is that everyone will leave that arena after SMASH and they will know what it will require to survive in the BLOODBATH DIVISION, and the trail to wrestle wars will be paved with every drop of his own blood that I didn’t use to bathe him in! ANd that when he returns to BRAWL he can tell all of his friends what it’s like when LA Johnny Stylez goes above and beyond the call of duty to make a muddah phucker
!!!!!SoaK!!!!!
!!!!!SoMe!!!!
!!!!!!UP!!!!!!!
…DoNT FoRGeT
It’s BeeN YOUR PLea$uRE
(Dont Worry this LiL ADVeNTuRe is TBC)
4:19
GoT
-A-
??MiNuTe??