I could definitely go for some Arbys
Jan 19, 2024 23:47:21 GMT -5
mac and Jonathan Barrows like this
Post by "Cholo" Giovanni Santana on Jan 19, 2024 23:47:21 GMT -5
El Opening Shoot
“I” never wanted to be a wrestler.
“I” was perfectly happy being a trainer, and a medical assistant on site at my uncle’s wrestling school and in college.
“I” was perfectly happy just as Giovanni Santana, EMT.
“I” was set on keeping my promise to my parents that one day, “I” would graduate college with a degree that mattered; with a degree that would allow me to help others. Those less fortunate ones, those who can’t defend themselves, those who are too weak to stand up to their oppressors.
But “I” have always loved wrestling.
Since “I” was a little boy in El Salvador. Since “I” was a migrant boy living in El Paso, first with my parents and then with my uncle and his sons who became tag team wrestlers at the age of fifteen. You know The Malvados don’t you Mac, they’ve whooped your ass a few times haven’t they? Boy, have “I” loved watching them kick your ass on repeat for the last few weeks… But don’t let me get sidetracked.
When “I” turned 30, thanks to my uncle pushing me and believing in me, “I” became one of the oldest rookies ever, making my wrestling debut on June 6th, 2021.
Then “I”, in less than a month, became a millionaire thanks to wrestling. Five million dollars just like that, from finishing second at a tournament in which “I” took on great talent, veterans and even legends. 5 matches, 5 million dollars and then some… Pretty cool huh? But let’s go back to that first day…
That day, as “I” stared at myself in the mirror of the shared locker room “I” was in, just minutes before making my big debut, “I” promised myself two things:
One - The moment “I” stop loving wrestling, “I” will quit and go back to being an EMT or something useful, a service provider, a first responder, whatever.
Two – The moment “Cholo” stops having fun, “Cholo” would also quit wrestling and follow previous statement.
Fast forward now to me being a millionaire. It didn’t take me 5 years, or 5 months or even 5 weeks… It took me 5 matches. That has to be a record right? Well since I did what many can’t accomplish in an entire career, it was time to walk away, right? You got the money, why on earth would you stay in this grueling sport that will do nothing but consume every part of your being? Why stay in a sport that will chew you up and spit you out? Why stay in a sport where you are going to meet the worst kinds of not just wrestlers, but people in general… People like Sonya Benson, bitch, Buster Gloves, two faced prick, Mike Mason, pompous prick, Ragnarok, mental case and of course, Mac fucking Bane. The worse piece of shit there is. Why put myself through this? Through them?
“I” told you, “I” love wrestling.
Wrestling would give me the opportunity to continue to grow my brand, and the money would give me the opportunity to help those in need, especially children, who, like me, are orphans. Children like you Mac Bane, because you lost your parents, didn’t you? Cholo may not know how old you were when you lost them, but he hears that the way they died wasn’t pleasant. He hears that your father was a piece of shit and that your mother died of a horrible decease… You know, just because your father was an asshole it doesn’t mean you had to grow up to be one yourself… But regardless, you are one of us Mac, an orphan… You of all people should empathize with the children Cholo tries to help, instead of trying to hurt them. Instead of leaving them how Cholo found them, homeless and broken hearted. But, again, don’t let me get sidetracked.
So, you, the fans, are probably asking: “well Cholo, have you stopped loving wrestling?”
No, Cholo has not stopped loving wrestling. He loved it when he was just a “special attraction” wrestler, performing only in cross-promotional events… and he loves it even more now, as he has made WGWF his home, as he became the longest reigning Intercontinental champion, won the Cannabis Cup AND as he gets ready to defend his World title for the third time against the man who has tried with all his might to suck all the fun out of Cholo.
Are you asking Cholo the second question now? Do you want to know if Mac has done it? Has Cholo stopped having fun?
Unfortunately, yes… yes he has.
Cholo was not lying a few weeks ago when he told Mac face to face that he had succeeded in getting Cholo to lose his cool and when Cholo loses that, then he stops having fun and “La Bestia” comes out. You see for months you saw Cholo partying inside and outside of the ring… Before and after the match… and if we’re honest mi gente, even during… You all know Cholo as the smilin’, partyin’, dancin’, mezcal drinkin’, fun of Mike Mason always makin’, Peter Vaughn in trouble always gettin’, J-Mon bromancin’, women stealin’, but not the married ones Austin, but yes women pleasin’, women lovin’ SON OF A GUN…
But little by little, ever since Mac has come into my life, as an opponent, because let’s not forget, not too long ago we were partners… Not long ago, we were brothers in arms as we took on Team Caedus…. But that feels like forever ago, and now, the fun in me has begun crumbling, piece by piece, brick by brick, stone by stone like the old pyramids of Egypt.
Cholo is sad now… but not for him… But for his children, for what they have been put through due to being involved in Cholo’s life. They don’t deserve to be caught in the crossfire… They don’t deserve to be bullied, they don’t deserve to be homeless… They deserve happiness… Just like Cholo deserves happiness… and just like you too Mac, deserve happiness. Despite of how much you want to portray yourself as this evil son of a bitch, despite how much you are trying to make Cholo’s life a living hell and believing that is what is making you happy, he knows you’re not… He knows that inside, you are decaying like month-old, moldy bread… Dying on the inside like a disgusting cavity inside of a nerveless tooth… Cholo can see right through your though proud Texan exterior and see that on the inside, you wish you were as happy Cholo is, or was until now… Your envy has blinded you, has made you hateful and resentful.
So then, amigos y amigas, does that mean that Cholo is going to quit wrestling? Is he going to keep the second promise to himself?
Unfortunately for Mac, Cholo is going to have to break that second promise.
Just like at the First Dance pay-per-view, in front of his hometown of El Paso, Texas, Cholo is going to break him in half.
“I” was perfectly happy being a trainer, and a medical assistant on site at my uncle’s wrestling school and in college.
“I” was perfectly happy just as Giovanni Santana, EMT.
“I” was set on keeping my promise to my parents that one day, “I” would graduate college with a degree that mattered; with a degree that would allow me to help others. Those less fortunate ones, those who can’t defend themselves, those who are too weak to stand up to their oppressors.
But “I” have always loved wrestling.
Since “I” was a little boy in El Salvador. Since “I” was a migrant boy living in El Paso, first with my parents and then with my uncle and his sons who became tag team wrestlers at the age of fifteen. You know The Malvados don’t you Mac, they’ve whooped your ass a few times haven’t they? Boy, have “I” loved watching them kick your ass on repeat for the last few weeks… But don’t let me get sidetracked.
When “I” turned 30, thanks to my uncle pushing me and believing in me, “I” became one of the oldest rookies ever, making my wrestling debut on June 6th, 2021.
Then “I”, in less than a month, became a millionaire thanks to wrestling. Five million dollars just like that, from finishing second at a tournament in which “I” took on great talent, veterans and even legends. 5 matches, 5 million dollars and then some… Pretty cool huh? But let’s go back to that first day…
That day, as “I” stared at myself in the mirror of the shared locker room “I” was in, just minutes before making my big debut, “I” promised myself two things:
One - The moment “I” stop loving wrestling, “I” will quit and go back to being an EMT or something useful, a service provider, a first responder, whatever.
Two – The moment “Cholo” stops having fun, “Cholo” would also quit wrestling and follow previous statement.
Fast forward now to me being a millionaire. It didn’t take me 5 years, or 5 months or even 5 weeks… It took me 5 matches. That has to be a record right? Well since I did what many can’t accomplish in an entire career, it was time to walk away, right? You got the money, why on earth would you stay in this grueling sport that will do nothing but consume every part of your being? Why stay in a sport that will chew you up and spit you out? Why stay in a sport where you are going to meet the worst kinds of not just wrestlers, but people in general… People like Sonya Benson, bitch, Buster Gloves, two faced prick, Mike Mason, pompous prick, Ragnarok, mental case and of course, Mac fucking Bane. The worse piece of shit there is. Why put myself through this? Through them?
“I” told you, “I” love wrestling.
Wrestling would give me the opportunity to continue to grow my brand, and the money would give me the opportunity to help those in need, especially children, who, like me, are orphans. Children like you Mac Bane, because you lost your parents, didn’t you? Cholo may not know how old you were when you lost them, but he hears that the way they died wasn’t pleasant. He hears that your father was a piece of shit and that your mother died of a horrible decease… You know, just because your father was an asshole it doesn’t mean you had to grow up to be one yourself… But regardless, you are one of us Mac, an orphan… You of all people should empathize with the children Cholo tries to help, instead of trying to hurt them. Instead of leaving them how Cholo found them, homeless and broken hearted. But, again, don’t let me get sidetracked.
So, you, the fans, are probably asking: “well Cholo, have you stopped loving wrestling?”
No, Cholo has not stopped loving wrestling. He loved it when he was just a “special attraction” wrestler, performing only in cross-promotional events… and he loves it even more now, as he has made WGWF his home, as he became the longest reigning Intercontinental champion, won the Cannabis Cup AND as he gets ready to defend his World title for the third time against the man who has tried with all his might to suck all the fun out of Cholo.
Are you asking Cholo the second question now? Do you want to know if Mac has done it? Has Cholo stopped having fun?
Unfortunately, yes… yes he has.
Cholo was not lying a few weeks ago when he told Mac face to face that he had succeeded in getting Cholo to lose his cool and when Cholo loses that, then he stops having fun and “La Bestia” comes out. You see for months you saw Cholo partying inside and outside of the ring… Before and after the match… and if we’re honest mi gente, even during… You all know Cholo as the smilin’, partyin’, dancin’, mezcal drinkin’, fun of Mike Mason always makin’, Peter Vaughn in trouble always gettin’, J-Mon bromancin’, women stealin’, but not the married ones Austin, but yes women pleasin’, women lovin’ SON OF A GUN…
But little by little, ever since Mac has come into my life, as an opponent, because let’s not forget, not too long ago we were partners… Not long ago, we were brothers in arms as we took on Team Caedus…. But that feels like forever ago, and now, the fun in me has begun crumbling, piece by piece, brick by brick, stone by stone like the old pyramids of Egypt.
Cholo is sad now… but not for him… But for his children, for what they have been put through due to being involved in Cholo’s life. They don’t deserve to be caught in the crossfire… They don’t deserve to be bullied, they don’t deserve to be homeless… They deserve happiness… Just like Cholo deserves happiness… and just like you too Mac, deserve happiness. Despite of how much you want to portray yourself as this evil son of a bitch, despite how much you are trying to make Cholo’s life a living hell and believing that is what is making you happy, he knows you’re not… He knows that inside, you are decaying like month-old, moldy bread… Dying on the inside like a disgusting cavity inside of a nerveless tooth… Cholo can see right through your though proud Texan exterior and see that on the inside, you wish you were as happy Cholo is, or was until now… Your envy has blinded you, has made you hateful and resentful.
So then, amigos y amigas, does that mean that Cholo is going to quit wrestling? Is he going to keep the second promise to himself?
Unfortunately for Mac, Cholo is going to have to break that second promise.
Just like at the First Dance pay-per-view, in front of his hometown of El Paso, Texas, Cholo is going to break him in half.
The McGrinch that tried to snatch Christmas
The skies are covered by snow filled clouds, a snowstorm is brewing, ready to fall as the temperature has reached that sweet spot in the low 30’s needed for hard, icy rain to turn into soft, sweet snow. The first flake falls, and the camera follows it, getting closer and closer to it, the shine from the nearly perfect, yet uniquely shaped flake, blinds you slightly… An instrumental Christmas tune starts to play, making you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, like you are watching a Christmas movie based on a wonderful Dr. Seuss’ book. But as the flake reaches its destination, we realize we are not going inside of it to find a magical town full of funny looking creatures with short snouts. The snowflake lands on the most beautiful set of hair you have ever seen, and as we zoom out from the flake, we clearly see it belongs to WGWF World Heavyweight Champion: “Cholo” Giovanni Santana. As more flakes begin to land on his head, he looks up with a concern look on his face.
Cholo: Snow again? We do not this, not this at all my friend.
Abigail: I love the snow, it gives our town a perfect glow.
Cholo: Have you noticed, we are speaking in rhyme?
Abigail: I guess it’s story time.
As they walk along a trail which surrounds a frozen lake, we follow another snowflake, zooming in closer and closer to it as it lands on the gift of God that is his afro, dissolving almost instantly. But this time, we continue to zoom, until we are inside the majestic, soul-glo free, al natural, not a gray hair in site afro of his…
~Allow me to take over…
Inside of Cholo’s immaculate afro, it is, do not be naive…
I’ll tell you a story, you must see, um read to believe.
Way up in his ‘Fro which beautifully glows.
Lays the small town of Choloville: The home of the Cholitos.
No, they do not have short snouts,
but what set them apart, is their beautiful afros.
Regardless of age or gender, every Cholito
Has their own little afro…
Ask any Cholito, and they'll have this to say: "There is no wrestler like Cholo
on Christmas Day."
Now we realize it’s the middle of January, and Christmas is long past
But Cholo really wanted to do this story, so don’t be a bast...
..ard. Bastard… Wow rhyming is hard. ~
Inside of Cholo’s immaculate afro, it is, do not be naive…
I’ll tell you a story, you must see, um read to believe.
Way up in his ‘Fro which beautifully glows.
Lays the small town of Choloville: The home of the Cholitos.
No, they do not have short snouts,
but what set them apart, is their beautiful afros.
Regardless of age or gender, every Cholito
Has their own little afro…
Ask any Cholito, and they'll have this to say: "There is no wrestler like Cholo
on Christmas Day."
Now we realize it’s the middle of January, and Christmas is long past
But Cholo really wanted to do this story, so don’t be a bast...
..ard. Bastard… Wow rhyming is hard. ~
Cholo: Right? Mad respect to Dr. Seuss.
~Indeed. *ahem*
Every Cholito knew, from their toes to their afros,
they loved Christmas and Cholo the most, without any doubts…
But the McGrinch, who lived just north of Choloville, Did NOT!~
~The McGrinch hated Cholo and the whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be because of his drinking and smoking every damn night.
It could be, perhaps, that his wrestling boots were on too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small. ~
Every Cholito knew, from their toes to their afros,
they loved Christmas and Cholo the most, without any doubts…
But the McGrinch, who lived just north of Choloville, Did NOT!~
~The McGrinch hated Cholo and the whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be because of his drinking and smoking every damn night.
It could be, perhaps, that his wrestling boots were on too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small. ~
Cholo: Not to mention his pea brain, he don’t messed up comin’ after Cholo’s-
~Ahem!~
Cholo: Lo siento narrator, carry on.
~Thank you.
Whatever the reason, His drinking, his heart or his boots… ~
Whatever the reason, His drinking, his heart or his boots… ~
Cholo: or his small ass raisin brain!
~CHOLO!~
Cholo: Okay, okay, perdon… cabron... he-he.
~Hijo de pu-*ahem* Whatever the reason, His drinking, his heart or his boots,
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Cholitos,
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Mcgrinchy frown,
At their nice shelter in the middle of town.
For he knew every Cholito down in Choloville below,
Was happily waiting to open their gifts from their beloved Cholo.
"I wish I had time to steal their happiness!" he snarled with a sneer,
"But tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, his McGrinchy beard stroking,
"I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!"
For Tomorrow, he knew, all the Cholito girls and boys,
Would wake bright and early and rush for their wrestling toys!
And then! Oh, the noise! How he hated the NOISE!
Then the Cholitos, young and old, would sit down to a feast.
In their beautiful shelter, which he liked the least!
They would feast on Cholo-pupusas, and rare Cholo-roast beast.
Which was something that made McGrinch very pissed!
And THEN They'd do something he liked the very least of all!
Every Cholito down in Choloville, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, with Cholo’s name ringing.
They'd stand hand-in-hand, and the Cholitos will start chanting!
They'd chant! And they'd chant! And they'd CHANT!
And the more the McGrinch thought of this Cholo Christmas chant,
The more the McGrinch thought, "I must stop this whole event!"
"Why, for over a year I've put up with it now!"
"I MUST stop this Christmas from coming! But HOW?"
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE MCGRINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!" The McGrinch laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Santa Claus hat and a coat.
And he laughed like the mad man he is, "I can pull this trick!"
"With this coat and this hat, I will look just like Saint Nick!"
"I will head to the town, when they least expect it."
"I will change their gifts for coal, and their shelter? I’ll simply take it!”
THEN He loaded some bags and an old empty sack,
found one of his horses and got on his back.
Then the McGrinch said, "Giddy up!" and rode on down,
Toward the shelter where the Cholitos lay sleep in their town.
All the Cholitos were all dreaming sweet dreams of cheer.
Not realizing evil was near.
All the windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
But the McGrinch broke in, he simply didn’t care.
"Cholo Christmas ends now" McGrinchy Claus hissed,
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
"When all the kids are naught, who needs a list? "
Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch.
But, if Santa could do it, then so could the McGrinch.
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Because of his big ass head, and ears too!
Once loose, he found all the stockings hung in a row.
"The toys in the stockings," he grinned, "must all go!"
He took out his flask and drank like a peasant,
Then he walked around the shelter and took every present!
He stuffed them in bags, and tossed them outside, laughing.
He then brought in the coal and stuffed every stocking.
Then he went to the kitchen, and he took the Cholitos' feast!
He took the Cholo-pudding! He took the roast beast!
He cleaned out that kitchen as quick as a flash.
Then stop for a moment, to smoke him some hash.
Then he pulled out an eviction notice with glee.
"And NOW!" grinned the McGrinch, "away with all of thee!"
And right when he was getting ready to leave…
He heard a small sound like the coo of a baby.
He turned around fast, and he saw a small Cholito!
Little Alberta del Cholo, who was not more than two.
The McGrinch had been caught by this tiny Cholito daughter,
Who got out of bed for a cup of cold water.
She stared at the McGrinch and said, "Santa Claus, why,”
"Why are you taking everything? WHY?"
But, you know, that old McGrinch was so smart and so slick,
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, ya see her’ partner," the fake Santa Claus lied,
"These gifts are for children with parents" oh how she cried.
"Hey stop! I left you some gifts, that are way better dear…"
"So go back to sleep, then tomorrow, come back here."
And his fib, despite cruel, fooled the child. Then he patted her head,
And he spiked her drink before sending her to bed.
And when she went to bed, stumbling with her cup,
He put up the notice and got the fuck out.
It was quarter past dawn... All the Cholitos, still in their bed,
Not realizing the evil deed by this imposter in red.
Still asleep when he packed up and got on his horse,
Riding back to his cave without any remorse.
"Wah-wah Cholo" he was McGrinchishly mocking.
"They'll find out soon that no Christmas is coming!"
"They'll wake up and I know just what they'll do!"
"They will think for a minute or two,
Before they turn on Cholo and cry BooHoo!"
"Now that's a noise," grinned the McGrinch, "That I simply MUST hear!"
Once he got home, he stood at the edge again, and put his hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow.
But the sound wasn't boos or jeers!
“Damn it to hell” he thought, “that still sounds like cheers!”
He stared down at Choloville! The McGrinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Cholito from Choloville, the tall and the small,
Was coming at him, with stockings full of coal!
“Um, wait a minute, how is this… oh shit!”
The mob rushed at him, like a big snow ball.
He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming at all!
As he ran away, with his McGrinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
He ran puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?!"
Then one of the Cholitos, yelled as he tackled his feet.
"Alberta told us everything, you green cowboy thief!"
And as he fell to the ground, the McGrinch cried like a bitch:
"Go to hell Cholo!” to the highest pitch.
"Cholo is the best! Cholo is the champ!" cried all the Cholitos.
"But his presents are gone, and he lost you the shelter you little Doritos.".
"So? He still the greatest wrestlers of all!"
"No he is not" he said with a stall…
Then The McGrinch thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe they love Cholo," he thought, "than me just a little more"
"Maybe I’m just, a sad, pathetic, lonely bore…"
And what happened then? Well...in Choloville they say,
That the McGrinch's ass grew three sizes that day!
From it getting beat so badly you see,
Lumps of coal non-stop to his hairy heini.
He whizzed and cried and finally deceased…
And the Cholitos used the coal to cook him up, instead of the roast beast!
What the?! Well that was a dark ending wasn’t it?
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Cholitos,
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Mcgrinchy frown,
At their nice shelter in the middle of town.
For he knew every Cholito down in Choloville below,
Was happily waiting to open their gifts from their beloved Cholo.
"I wish I had time to steal their happiness!" he snarled with a sneer,
"But tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, his McGrinchy beard stroking,
"I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!"
For Tomorrow, he knew, all the Cholito girls and boys,
Would wake bright and early and rush for their wrestling toys!
And then! Oh, the noise! How he hated the NOISE!
Then the Cholitos, young and old, would sit down to a feast.
In their beautiful shelter, which he liked the least!
They would feast on Cholo-pupusas, and rare Cholo-roast beast.
Which was something that made McGrinch very pissed!
And THEN They'd do something he liked the very least of all!
Every Cholito down in Choloville, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, with Cholo’s name ringing.
They'd stand hand-in-hand, and the Cholitos will start chanting!
They'd chant! And they'd chant! And they'd CHANT!
And the more the McGrinch thought of this Cholo Christmas chant,
The more the McGrinch thought, "I must stop this whole event!"
"Why, for over a year I've put up with it now!"
"I MUST stop this Christmas from coming! But HOW?"
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE MCGRINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!" The McGrinch laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Santa Claus hat and a coat.
And he laughed like the mad man he is, "I can pull this trick!"
"With this coat and this hat, I will look just like Saint Nick!"
"I will head to the town, when they least expect it."
"I will change their gifts for coal, and their shelter? I’ll simply take it!”
THEN He loaded some bags and an old empty sack,
found one of his horses and got on his back.
Then the McGrinch said, "Giddy up!" and rode on down,
Toward the shelter where the Cholitos lay sleep in their town.
All the Cholitos were all dreaming sweet dreams of cheer.
Not realizing evil was near.
All the windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
But the McGrinch broke in, he simply didn’t care.
"Cholo Christmas ends now" McGrinchy Claus hissed,
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
"When all the kids are naught, who needs a list? "
Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch.
But, if Santa could do it, then so could the McGrinch.
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Because of his big ass head, and ears too!
Once loose, he found all the stockings hung in a row.
"The toys in the stockings," he grinned, "must all go!"
He took out his flask and drank like a peasant,
Then he walked around the shelter and took every present!
He stuffed them in bags, and tossed them outside, laughing.
He then brought in the coal and stuffed every stocking.
Then he went to the kitchen, and he took the Cholitos' feast!
He took the Cholo-pudding! He took the roast beast!
He cleaned out that kitchen as quick as a flash.
Then stop for a moment, to smoke him some hash.
Then he pulled out an eviction notice with glee.
"And NOW!" grinned the McGrinch, "away with all of thee!"
And right when he was getting ready to leave…
He heard a small sound like the coo of a baby.
He turned around fast, and he saw a small Cholito!
Little Alberta del Cholo, who was not more than two.
The McGrinch had been caught by this tiny Cholito daughter,
Who got out of bed for a cup of cold water.
She stared at the McGrinch and said, "Santa Claus, why,”
"Why are you taking everything? WHY?"
But, you know, that old McGrinch was so smart and so slick,
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, ya see her’ partner," the fake Santa Claus lied,
"These gifts are for children with parents" oh how she cried.
"Hey stop! I left you some gifts, that are way better dear…"
"So go back to sleep, then tomorrow, come back here."
And his fib, despite cruel, fooled the child. Then he patted her head,
And he spiked her drink before sending her to bed.
And when she went to bed, stumbling with her cup,
He put up the notice and got the fuck out.
It was quarter past dawn... All the Cholitos, still in their bed,
Not realizing the evil deed by this imposter in red.
Still asleep when he packed up and got on his horse,
Riding back to his cave without any remorse.
"Wah-wah Cholo" he was McGrinchishly mocking.
"They'll find out soon that no Christmas is coming!"
"They'll wake up and I know just what they'll do!"
"They will think for a minute or two,
Before they turn on Cholo and cry BooHoo!"
"Now that's a noise," grinned the McGrinch, "That I simply MUST hear!"
Once he got home, he stood at the edge again, and put his hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow.
But the sound wasn't boos or jeers!
“Damn it to hell” he thought, “that still sounds like cheers!”
He stared down at Choloville! The McGrinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Cholito from Choloville, the tall and the small,
Was coming at him, with stockings full of coal!
“Um, wait a minute, how is this… oh shit!”
The mob rushed at him, like a big snow ball.
He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming at all!
As he ran away, with his McGrinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
He ran puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?!"
Then one of the Cholitos, yelled as he tackled his feet.
"Alberta told us everything, you green cowboy thief!"
And as he fell to the ground, the McGrinch cried like a bitch:
"Go to hell Cholo!” to the highest pitch.
"Cholo is the best! Cholo is the champ!" cried all the Cholitos.
"But his presents are gone, and he lost you the shelter you little Doritos.".
"So? He still the greatest wrestlers of all!"
"No he is not" he said with a stall…
Then The McGrinch thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe they love Cholo," he thought, "than me just a little more"
"Maybe I’m just, a sad, pathetic, lonely bore…"
And what happened then? Well...in Choloville they say,
That the McGrinch's ass grew three sizes that day!
From it getting beat so badly you see,
Lumps of coal non-stop to his hairy heini.
He whizzed and cried and finally deceased…
And the Cholitos used the coal to cook him up, instead of the roast beast!
What the?! Well that was a dark ending wasn’t it?
Cholo: Yeah it was, how am I supposed to segway from that?
Abigail: Segway from what babe?
As we zoom out of Choloville and out of perfection personified in Cholo’s afro, we see that Cholo is now sitting at a bench, overlooking the lake. Next to him is his love interest, Abigail.
Cholo: oh, um, nothing I was just thinking out loud you know… Hehehe.
Abigail: You sure?
Cholo: Of course, why?
Abigail: Well, because it appeared as if you were talking to your hair and also, there is a bit of smoke coming from it!
Cholo: Say what?!
Cholo begins to dust his afro as if squatting a fly away and then he digs into his afro and pulls out something very tiny and simply flicks it into the lake… You can almost hear the faintest of screams.
Abigail: What the hell was that? A tick? A flea?
Cholo: Nah, something much worse, and yet, that much more insignificant.
Abigail: Um, okay… Well, should we go? The snow is getting heavier and I’m hungry…
Cholo: Yeah, me too… Could definitely go for Some McGrinchy roast beast.
Abigail: Some what the what now?
Cholo: Uh, ARBYS, I could definitely go for some Arbys… Let’s go.
They stand up.
Abigail: Why you being a weirdo?
Cholo: You’re a weirdo, I’m just a cholo.
He winks at her and she just smiles and hugs him as they leave the park.
The Orphans Shoot
Cholo appears out of the darkness, looking very somber.
Usually, Cholo’s closing shoot is when he goes to town on his opponents, but also has something upbeat to say… But this match has become much more than a wrestling match between Cholo vs. Mac… It has become very personal, but not just for Cholo, but for everyone around him… Specially all the orphans Cholo tries to help not only in his hometown of El Paso, Texas, but around the world… Since Mac decided to not only come after Cholo’s happiness, but theirs, Cholo figured it was only fair for them to have their say… Here are just a few of the children Mac Bane left homeless on Christmas Day.
Cholo steps back into the darkness and then a little girl steps up.
My name is Ana (censored), I lost my parents in a train accident when I was ten years old… I was severely injured but for some reason, I made a recovery only to live life as an orphan, unwanted by all… For Christmas, Mac Bane gave me a lump of coal.
She drops pieces of coal she was holding in her hands before stepping back and then another kid steps up.
My name is Harry (censored), my parents were murdered when I was but a baby, then I was forced to live with my aunt and uncle who treated me like shit… For Christmas, Mac Bane gave me a lump of coal.
He steps aside, not before dropping his pieces of coal on the pile on the floor. Another kid steps up.
My name is Steven (censored), I never had parents… My mother died at birth, and my father was… is, spending a life sentence in prison for murders… For Christmas, Mac Bane gave me a lump of coal.
Like the rest, he drops his lumps of coal before disappearing into the darkness. A girl now comes up.
My name is Norma Jean (censored), I never knew my father and my mother suffered from recurring psychiatric problems that eventually saw her committed to an institution. With no parents, I spent the majority of my childhood in a string of orphanages and foster homes. For Christmas, Mac Bane gave me a lump of coal.
This one, is clearly angry as she slams the lumps of coal on the floor. She gives the camera a middle finger and then walks off. Another kid steps up.
My name is Joey (censored), I didn’t lose my parents… They lost me when I was eight and they never found me… or went looking for me… I had to raise myself… For Christmas, Mac Bane gave me a lump of coal.
He stares at the coal in his hand briefly before dropping it on the pile, and disappearing. One last kid steps up.
My name is Alexander (censored), my birth was labeled as the most humiliating and was heavily criticized. I was the illegitimate son of a famous man and a woman who was married to another. My father abandoned us when I was ten and my mother died from a fever a few years later. My older cousin looked after me briefly, before killing himself. For Christmas, Mac Bane gave me a lump of coal.
He drops his pieces and walks off. Cholo steps up now, and behind him appear all the kids who lived in the orphanage Mac Bane purchased… They look tired, sad, and dirty even, their faces and arms smeared with coal… Cholo picks up as many pieces of coal as his hands can carry, and as he holds them up to the camera, he speaks.
My name is “Cholo” Giovanni Santana, and I rescued all these kids… I offered them a home and I made them a promise that one day, I would find each one of them a new family… But until then, he must resign to, for every kid behind me, Cholo will break a bone in your bitter and raggedy body Mac Bane…
My Christmas gift, no, my Christmas promise to these children is this: in my hometown of El Paso, Texas... In front of all my family and friends... In front of these beautiful children, Cholo will shove these lumps of coal down your fucking throat and make you shit Texas size diamonds.