Post by Jetta Tall-Tide on Dec 23, 2023 16:14:22 GMT -5
A Few days after Smash.
“So let me get this straight, you’re a wrestler and you’re a pirate?”
The man across from Jetta looks incredulous at the absurdity of it. The lovable pirate defeats his expression with a beaming smile and affirmative nod, feeling safe here at Dave the Barista’s coffee shop because it’s as good a safe haven as any to anchor down and plan for the next adventure.
Jetta: Aye, aye! I’m also a wrestling pirate!
Her near indestructible smile lifts the man’s brows as he busies himself with jotting something down in an old pen and paper notebook. Using the butt of the pencil, he scratches one of his brows.
“Right…. Wrestler….. Pirate…. Wrestling pirate.”
He speaks mostly to himself, as the dynamics of it go straight over Jetta’s head. Tall-Tide is more energized than usual, having gotten familiar with the taste of coffee, and relishes the feeling of having even MORE boundless energy. Even the efforts of Dave the Barista tapering her supply haven’t been enough to keep her away from the weird little drink.
Of course, coffee would never replace grog in her heart. Grog made her fondly remember her time at sea and no other drink could replicate that.
“So why have you, I mean Dave, contacted me about you?”
The man glances at Dave the Barista whipping up a drink for someone and gives him the “Am I a joke to you” expression.
“I’m a private detective, I don’t have a knack for wrestling or piracy.”
Jetta: And wrestling piracy! Can’t forget about that! I’m looking for my parents. They were lost at sea when they were attending a wrestling cruise and it sank in the Bermuda Triangle. I sank with them but thank the gods I was rescued by wrestling pirates who took me in as one of their own!
There’s no hint of jest in her claims.
Jetta: And since Dave is a wrestling barista and I’m a wrestling pirate, he probably figured you’re a wrestling detective who could help me out.
The detective shoots another glance at Dave the Barista, his giant 6’6”, 290-pound frame barely fitting into his work uniform, like a grown-up trying to wear children’s clothes.
“Riiiiiight, Dave the Barista. A great man of intelligence, I see. Anyway, you said your parents might be lost? What makes you think they’d be in the big city?”
Jetta pauses for a moment, the question sensible enough to consider a genuine thought from her.
Jetta: It probably sounds crazy, but I feel like I had a premonition that I’d eventually find them, and since neither of them were wrestling pirates, I figured they’d be on land somewhere.
The detective scratches his chin at the young woman’s tenuous thought process.
Jetta: Since I landed here in the big city, I figured it’d be the best place to start looking.
The super-sleuth nods and scribbles down more stuff in his notebook, then takes a sip on his cup of tea that’s already gone cold.
“Right, well, I think your story is preposterous, and a psychologist would probably say both of you have overactive imaginations and you’re probably traumatized from losing your parents at sea…. But…”
He looks at the stack of gold coins on the table, which are as real as any gold coins could be.
“Let me check things out for you anyway, and I’ll get back to you if I find anything that will help. I can do that much for you, and then we’ll talk about payment, preferably in actual money and not 18th-century tender.”
He nods to her, somewhat sympathetic toward the poor young girl. Picking himself up from the table, he pays for the tea and slides his business card to her. It’s a sleek card with a tasteful design and a watermark. Holmes it says on it.
“Give me a call in two or three weeks and I’ll tell you if I can help you further.”
He straightens out his thick brown coat and wears his matching brown hat. Making his way out of the coffee shop, he puffs under his breath about the absurdity of “wrestling pirates”, leaving Jetta behind to examine the card.
Jetta: Detective Holmes. My parents are out there! I can feel it!
Upon bringing his Shelby GT500 Mustang to a stop, Devlin Knight eyes the strange sight of unkempt individuals loitering around his Los Angeles property. Hopping out, he scans the crowd for potential danger, throwing a hand up to keep the nearest cluster at bay.
DEVLIN KNIGHT: What’s this? Who’re you? Where’s Jetta?
Several replies but with different answers. One thing they agree on is Jetta. Hearing her name mentioned causes a ripple of cheers and shouting of her name. It reaches the energetic ears of the pirate herself and she bursts out from among the throng of people.
JETTA: FIRST FRIEND!
Her little pirate body slams into Devlin, giving him the biggest hug, and then she gestures to the crowd.
JETTA: Meet my new friends! They were homeless, but thanks to YOU renting this place to ME, they aren’t homeless anymore! Right, friends?!
A collective cheer rings out honoring Devlin. Some approach to give him pats on the back but once again he wards them off with a hand motion.
DEVLIN KNIGHT: Easy there, people. This has caught me off guard.
Knight leads her away from the crowd and searches for the nicest way to address this situation.
DEVLIN KNIGHT: I know you’re not used to the customs of us land-dwellers, but here’s a quick info dump. When someone like me, your landlord, your lord of the land, in this case, your lavish abode here, allows you to live here in exchange for payment, that doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want. You have to ask your landlord if it’s okay to do something like this.
Jetta scratches her chin and flicks her pirate hat.
JETTA: Blimey! I’m sorry! I thought you’d be ok with it. I saw how horrible they were treated and how they were suffering and starving and just….
Devlin cuts her off with a squeeze on the shoulder.
DEVLIN KNIGHT: Hey, I’m not mad, okay? It’s sweet that you would do this for them but here on land the homelessness and squatting issues are extremely complex.
She scratches her chin again and looks at the crowd. Devlin follows her eyes as she looks at each of them one by one. He notices the concern making itself home on her normally smiley face, most likely from her mentally sifting through the probability of each individual’s plight upon returning to the streets.
DEVLIN KNIGHT: Hey, tell you what, it’s the Christmas season. Let’s keep them around as a gift from you and then after the new year, we can figure out what to do next so that maybe they don’t have to report back to the streets. Sound like a plan?
Jetta lights up like a Christmas tree!
JETTA: YES!!!!!! THANK YOU!
She power hugs him, hurting some bones still recovering from his fight on Brawl.
DEVLIN KNIGHT: OW! Easy. How the hell are you so strong?
Jetta pounds her chest like an ape and makes some weird sounds but doesn’t answer him.
DEVLIN KNIGHT: Understood, hoss. Anyway, I came to see how things were going with the move but you had plenty of friends to help you get settled in. Also, I came bearing gifts for you from me, Aurora, and Ava. Let’s go have an early Merry Christmas.
He twirls the car keys around his finger and leads her to the vintage vehicle being ogled by the scraggly folks. As they pile into the car, Jetta crawls all over the place looking for her presents.
JETTA: Where are the gifts? Is this a scavenger hunt?
DEVLIN KNIGHT: Nope. Patience young padawan. Your first gift is the knowledge I’m gonna give you on how to drive a car, or as you call it, a land vessel! This particular land-vessel.
He pats the unblemished dashboard of the classic Mustang. Jetta’s tiny pirate face balloons with excitement and nervousness.
JETTA: Are you sure?
DEVLIN KNIGHT: Sure am. It’s symbolic too, I suppose. You’re going up against Sam Chatman for that spot in the X championship match. That hoss is strong and fast, just like this bad boy here.
Again he pats the dashboard of the iconic car.
DEVLIN KNIGHT: Because metaphorically speaking, since I like my metaphors, if you can tame this beast, you can tame Chatman.
Jetta’s in awe of his wisdom, and offers a slack-jawed response as she sponges all he is throwing at her. It’s merely an exercise in confidence building though. Unlike this vehicle, Sam Chatman has a brain.
He coasts them into an empty lot, cuts the engine, and while grinning tosses her the keys.
DEVLIN KNIGHT: You’re up, kid. This is gonna help me too actually. Someday I’ll also have to teach Ava to drive. Win-win for both of us.
-------> TWO HOURS LATER —---->
DEVLIN KNIGHT: AAAAAAAHHH STAAAAHP!
JETTA: HOIST THE COLORS!!!!!
Devlin, gripping the ‘oh shit’ handle for dear life while puckering his poop deck, freezes as Jetta jerks on the steering wheel. In her mind, at this moment, it’s not a steering wheel. Hell, they’re not even in a car. It’s Sam Chatman’s head she has in her hands and she’s trying to yank it over and drive it into the canvas.
The Mustang drifts like it’s in one of the Fast and Furious movies, and no Devlin hasn’t taught her to that advanced level yet. It somehow still happens and thank the gods the car comes to a stop before she kills both of them despite them being in a perfectly safe empty parking lot.
The smell of smoke, burnt rubber, and possibly scorched electrical components settles around them. The duo say not a word, only share looks. Devlin’s is one of confusion and relief. Jetta’s is one of joy, her body twitching from the adrenaline.
DEVLIN KNIGHT: Well. Ok. So, it uh, yeah, it looks like I taught you well. You are equipped now to get your driver’s license.
JETTA: So that means I’m equipped to beat Sam Chatman?
Before he can reply, she’s out the driver’s door and thrusts her arms into the air.
JETTA: Take that, Chatman!
She leans closer to the hood and motions “Just bring it.”
Devlin joins her and chuckles.
DEVLIN KNIGHT: I’d say you’re equipped to beat Sam, but I warn you, he’s a whole other level than Kasey Welker. More like ten or twenty levels. Maybe fifty levels if I’m being honest. I’ve fought him. He can be a real bastard in there, in the best way. He’s never fought a wrestling pirate though, so he’s *does cool guy look* in deep water.
Jetta lights up at the pun.
JETTA: I understood that reference! Smash is gonna be so cool! I can beat Sam and then you beat those scurvy dogs in F.O., especially that pond scum J Mont!
A grumble spills out from Devlin’s mouth.
DEVLIN KNIGHT: J Mont.. that guy really takes the cake!
Confusion sets in for the Pirate Lass.
JETTA: Where?
DEVLIN KNIGHT: Huh?
JETTA: Where does J Mont take the cake to?
Devlin shrugs.
DEVLIN KNIGHT: Hell if I know. Maybe to the cake shop to hang out with the other cakes or something.
Tall-Tide delightfully clutches her chest.
JETTA: Aww! That’s so nice of him! I guess there’s some good in even the meanest people.
Devlin has to take a prolonged blink on that one and then decides not to pursue the issue of J Mont.
DEVLIN KNIGHT: He’s not important right now. We need to finish giving you those Christmas gifts I promised you.
He decides against returning to the property for the gift-giving because of the uncertainty he has of her new friends, so he leads her to the trunk and lets her tear into the gifts, which she does with the fervor of a kid on, well, Christmas morning.
Her pirate eyes blast open with joy at the array of clothes.
DEVLIN KNIGHT: You’ve been wearing the same pirate stuff since you got off the ship. It’s about time you tried on some land-dweller clothes.
Jetta begins disrobing because privacy was not a luxury aboard the Razor’s Edge at sea, but Devlin quickly stops her.
DEVLIN KNIGHT: WHOA. No. You can’t do that in public. I know this is an empty lot but trust me, you’ll get in trouble.
She takes heed and sticks to only putting on the designer jacket, and she is beyond excited about it, flapping the collars excitedly.
JETTA: It’s so PRETTY! I look like a land liver! It’s a perfect fit too!
DEVLIN KNIGHT: That was Aurora’s doing. She got a good size of you when you two met. We are not done, little lass. More gifts inbound.
He fishes an elegant envelope from his coat pocket and gives it to her. She opens it with a fury and can’t believe it.
JETTA: I’ve been invited to a Christmas Ball!!?? A dinner party? With you and all the land folk?? My first Christmas on land!
He simply nods and closes the trunk. Jetta is speechless.
DEVLIN KNIGHT: You got it! I assume your schedule is clear? Got your promotional vignette for Chatman out of the way and all that stuff?
JETTA: BLIMEY!!!! No!
She facepalms herself.
JETTA: I’ve been so busy watching Sam’s matches at Dave the Barista’s coffee shop that I forgot all about that promo stuff. And I was helping my new buddies get settled. Blimey promos. I hate those things. I just want to get in there and wrestle!
Devlin chuckles and “shames” her with a playful finger wag.
JETTA: But heeeeeey since you’re here, can we do like last time and you just record me for the promo real fast?
Knight unearths the popular Kenny Omega meme face at her.
DEVLIN KNIGHT: This can’t become a habit. I’ll do it one more time but that’s it.
Jetta claps fast then races onto the hood of the car, striking a cool pose like she sees other wrestlers doing in their promos. She has no idea what she is doing while Devlin gives the 3–2–1
JETTA: AHOY Smash and X Division! This Christmas marks my first Christmas on land and I’m gonna do my best to gift all of you a match to remember, and hopefully win it too. But I’ve got a huge task, let me tell you. Sam Chatman is gonna be hungrier than a starving shark after the recent setbacks at the Cannabis Cup and his misadventure with Grado. So if it’s not too much to ask, fans, please ask Santa to bring me a win this Christmas on Smash just in case. I was gonna do it myself but I don’t have the means to travel to the North Pole.
It appears she hasn’t heard of Mall Santas yet.
JETTA: Sam, I’ve seen your matches and you are confusing to me. One match you’re like a god in the ring. Like, I saw you beat that Johnny Bacchus lad and I heard he’s super amazing. I know that Fred guy interfered but still..
Behind the camera, Devlin’s eyes shift. He has no idea how Jetta doesn’t know he used to be that very Fred.
JETTA: You made it to the semi-finals of the cannabis cup and you almost became a tag champling with Grado recently. But in other matches, it’s like you’re not motivated or your mind is elsewhere and you lose. I know other wrestlers are mean and bring up bad personal stuff you are in when they do these promo things, so maybe that is why you’re all over the place sometimes. Don’t worry, lad. That’s not me. When we step in that ring, I’m not fighting your family or your fangirls or whatever, I’m fighting you. That’s all I’m focusing on. I know you’re hungry, but I’m hungrier. You’ve had your chances at treasure here but came up short, now it’s my turn.
Jetta hunches down into a kneeling gangster pose because she saw it on the magical TV box and thought it was cool.
JETTA: The X on treasure maps declares where the buried treasure is. This X Champling-chip means, like, it’s meant for me. I’m here for adventure and treasure. That’s what the X title and division is about. If I qualify I also get my hurricane fists on that no-good tail-wind Amber Mansly at some point during the match at Smash’s pay-per-view named Pirate Palooza. Yes, I’ve named it. Claimed! When I pummel that goose-stepping Amber and overcome the others too, it will prove to Devlin I can fight by his side against the Fortunate Ones!
She looks at her hands, already envisioning the X title in them, and battling the Fortunate Ones alongside Devlin.
JETTA: I know you’re relishing how I’m smaller than you, and a girl, Sam. Brooke is also like me, and she beat you, though. Women have beaten you, but none were a wrestling pirate. Argh! You’re fast as lightning, but so am I, the difference is that I hit like a lightning bolt and leave you scorched, and I’m not bound by the ‘only strikes twice’ law. I’ll keep striking until I Keelhaul you or Hoist the Colors!
She unceremoniously ends the promo. Confused, Devlin shrugs and is surprised when she bounces up to him and hands him a gift too, with a cheery “Merry Christmas.” He pulls the present out and inspects it.
JETTA: It’s a friendship bracelet. I made it myself, from the heart, so it’s super super expensive. It bears my name and each letter represents something about you to me:
J for Justice.
E for Enduring.
T for Tenacity.
T for Triumphant.
A for Admirable.
DEVLIN KNIGHT: .... It’s priceless.
End.