Post by lajohnnystylez on Dec 9, 2023 6:10:37 GMT -5
Scene opens in the office of LA Johnny Stylez a few months ago. He is sitting there with a pair of reading glasses on doing some paper work, until the phone rings..
LA Johnny Stylez: Well bust my britches why if it aint Tommy Blacklock the sleaziest sleeze of the BIG OLE EASE!!...My 4th favorite keeper of the law here in New Orleans, so tell me what is it I can do for my city?
Tommy Blacklock: Well Johnny I don’t suppose you’ve seen the news?
LA Johnny Stylez: What like today?
Tommy Blacklock: Mr. Stylez please spare me the wise ass cracks today, this is a very important matter that comes practically from the top. It’s one of yours John, she is causing some very big problems for Zion WIllams and the Pelicans franchise as a whole and we need it to stop…Like yesterday!
LA Johnny Stylez: Moriah…? MILLS? Well Tommy, tell your client that as always I’ll see it sorted at once!
Tommy Blacklock: Well on behalf of Ms. Benson and the city of New Orleans we would like you to know that we are grateful, ohhh and this time Johnny if you could attempt some discretion that would be great!
LA Johnny Stylez: OF COURSE, of COURSE don’t worry this won’t be anything like last time…Or the time before that, probably!
Tommy Blacklock: Yes yes of course, but please do try is all we ask!
LA Johnny Stylez: Sure thing I got ya…Ohh wait and Tom before you go…
Tommy Blacklock: Yes?
*CLICK*
LA Johnny Stylez: DOUCHEBAG!!! Peyton, pack your shit we need to go to LA..Ohh and get in touch with Moriah for me and tell her to be in my office in LA at noon tomorrow
…The Next Day
2:00 p.m.
We see famous adult film star Moriah Mills pacing back and fourth in a very large elaborate office. She keeps checking her phone nervously, until she freezes in place as the door opens and in walks her boss..The owner of 69% of one of the top adult film distributors in the country. He walks in with his trademark arrogant smirk as he locks eyes with Moriah, he motions for her to sit down, as he heads for his large black chair behind his desk. He opens up the top drawer and removes a pre rolled blunt. He pops one in his mouth lighting it while Moriah sits there clearly nervous as phuck. Johnny spins around in his chair and then titls his head back blowing a few smoke rings…He then leans over and hands Moriah the blunt which she gladly accepts…
LA Johnny Stylez: I assume you know why you’re here?
Moriah Mills: Yeah that shit with me and that lil bitch ass punk who play for the Pelicans! Mr. J he told me he loved me, that he was gunna even move me out to New Orleans. So he spend the summer out here with me pretty much attached to my..
LA Johnny Stylez: YEAH YEAH, I get it Moriah, and look I know you know my policies on these things yes? I mean usually this time included when things like this happen and yalls name winds up in the news its great for business as you very well know. However what team did you say Mr. Williams plays for?
Moriah Mills: The Pelicans..
LA Johnny Stylez: And what city do the Pelicans play in my dear?
Moriah Mills: New Orleans!
LA Johnny Stylez: There’z a smart girl! Now the other policy that all of you are aware of is that New Orleans is also the home of our business out here! You know as you have enjoyed the fruits of its success dancing in the clubs and what not! However you all know what happens if you disrupt anything in my city, and Moriah you are DISRUPTING SHIT IN MY CITY! I got a call from someone very importan’st sleezy lawyer asking me to TELL you to KNOCK IT THE PHUCK OFF…SO here I am telling you to
!!!!KNOCK IT THE PHUCK OFF!!!!
…You Don’t Wanna Wind Up Like Madison Lovelace do you?
Huh?
Moriah Mills: Who?
LA Johnny Stylez: EXACTLY!!! Look babe, Listen to me Moriah I am sure he did say he was in love with you, I don’t doubt every single one of those tweets you posted on the twitter were all a hundred percent accurate, but BE
!!!!!!SeRyOuS LaDy!!!!!
…YOU KNOW BETTER THAN MOST THAT MEN WILL SAY JUST ABOUT ANYTHING WHEN THEY ARE REALLY..REALLY HAPPY!!!
But if you were thinking this was your “PRETTY WOMAN” scenario coming to life, don’t kid yourself…THat was probably the worst plot in cinema history! But this is what happens when you have Cinderella DREAMS while living in a
!!!!!WHoRE’$ ReaLiTy!!!!!
…If YOU WaNT “HaPPiLY EVeR AFTer” You ARE PROLLY GUNNA HAVE TO STOP BANGING PEOPLE ON CAMERA FOR A LIVING!!!
I’m not sayin, I’m just sayin know what I’m sayin? I mean really you actually texted you may be pregnant too? HA there is so much birth control pumping through your system you would make a Rhino sterile!!! And look I’m not trying to be an asshole, but at the end of the day REALITY IS REALITY and we all have to face it sooner or later like it or not. So Moriah I checked on the way over and your numbers are up…Enjoy what comes with that,but if you don’t cease this nonsense immediately know you are going to put me and yourself in a very bad situation. Cause when my City calls it’s cause they know I’ll get results, and this is the nice way…You keep it up and then we will be forced to try the other way! Do we understand each other?
Moriah Mills: Yes Mr. J!
LA Johnny Stylez: K well run along I’ve got shit to do!
Moriah Mills: Well since we are both here maybe I could hang out for a lil while?
THe frame freezes…Well everything except Johnny Stylez as he looks into the camera and shoots his arrogant smirk as he almost chuckles to himself saying
LA Johnny Stylez: SLUTS…AM I RIGHT?
The scene we are watching suddenly freezes in place. The camera view then switches where we suddenly find ourselves in a room over the shoulder of our host…” Mr.LAUGHING ALWAYS” Je$TyR SeRyOuS as he stands in front of a large screen as we now discover Johnny’s meeting with Moriah was a recording. He then turns around and looks into the camera acknowledging that all of us are here. We see him wrap his hand around the karaoke mallet he used as the tool of his destruction of FPV’s facility in New Orleans. As he hoists it up, he pulls it and lets it rest over his right shoulder as he begins to pace back and fourth and do what he does best…
Je$TyR SeRyOu$: So you’re phuckin tellin me that the only thing standing between me and a chance to etch my name into the annals of WGWF history and a key role in defining what it means to be the CHAMPION oF
~!!$!!~ X ~!!$!!~
HeRe oN THe BeTTeR BRaND oF THE WGWF KNoWN AS SMA$H!!!
Is Amber PHUCKIN Mansley??? I knew this was going to happen sooner or later. Murphys law not even factored in I was bound to face one of these phuckin
!!!!!PLAYED OUT PUSSIES!!!!
I’M TaLKiN Rock~N~Roll Express vs THe MiDNighT EXPReSS After The Coolio Concert YESTERDAY AT THE NEW MEXICO STATE FAIR PLAYED OUT!!!
I mean I have been actually praying for an opportunity like this, because not only would I move onto a Championship match that will grant the winner a meaningful stake into the future and developing SMASH as the superior brand not just in the WGWF but
!!!!F’N EVERYWHERE!!!!
As IF I NeeDeD ANoTHeR ReaSoN TO WaNNa BaNG AMBER MANSLEY’s STUPID FACE INTO SOMETHING JAGGED!
I mean I think I am being honest when I tell you that really it’s nothing personal at all, I have nothing against you. I mean yeah maybe you look a
!!!! LiL MoRe MaNSLey THaN YoU Do AMBeR !!!!
But I Don’t Have TO Bang You SO GLAD I’m NOT ONe oF THe VeRy MaNy CHUMPS WHO COUNT THAT PROBLEM AMONG THEIR 99
…SO NO BIG YA DIGG?
I’ll also admit at first I wondered why ANYONE would join JMONTs cookie cutter collection to help him sell the entire WGWF fan base literal real life
!!!!!SHiT SANDWHICHES!!!!!
…AND THEN RECRUITS YOU KNOB GOBBLERZ TO HELP HIM OVER SELL THEM!!!
But with each day passes the less I wonder why you joined them because the more I sit and ponder on it the more you joining them makes sense. Because ya know when I arrived on the scene I kept as close of an eye on my possible competition as I could. So I have no problem admitting Amber Mansley was one of the ones I asked about or looked into. And really the common response I got was…
!!!!”Well SHE’S A BITCH!!!!
…ANd I Paused…AWKWARDLY UNTIL I REALIZED THAT WAS IT!
…So she’s a bitch?...That's it, SeRyOu$Ly IT? I can’t buy a pack of phucking LUCKYS without running into 9 BITCHES! So then I looked a little closer, and I guess I kinda saw what she was trying to sell the fans…SO not just a BITCH…More like THE BITCH, right?..Am I gettin warmer?...I even heard someone say the phrase…and I quote
~+~ “The REGINA GEORGE oF THE WGWF ~+~
WHICH IS HIGH PRAISE, BUT I MEAN REGINA GEORGE DOESN’T HAVE AN ADAMS APPLE SO THERE IS NO F’N WAY THAT CAN BE RIGHT!!!!
Which makes her a perfect fit into her limited circle that has an even more limited brain capacity to help a greasy TWAT like JOE MONTOURI pull off what winds up CoMiNg off like a local theatre version of a BIG BROADWAY PLAY. So really Amber I can't even begin to try and understand you without understanding your little girl scout troop as well! So really I'll ask two qestions and I promise we can get off the MoRoN MiLiTaRy
!!!!YoU HaVe MY WORD!!!!!
...ANd Well if you don't wanna take my word for it ask Shane Stevenz if Je$TyR SeRyOu$ IS A MAN OF HIS WORD!!!
OK so, yeah your girl scout troop also commonly referred to as
???THe FoRTuNaTe ONes?
HA AND MOST OF YOU ASSBAGS TRY AND GIVE ME GRAMMAR LESSONS!!!
I mean I guess my first question is how is it even humanly phucking possible to be in
???213432143214 SeGMeNTZ a WeeK???
...ANd SoMeHoW MaNaGe To ACCoMPLi$H NeXT To NoTHiN???
Cause well if you take ole E-NiGGZ out the picture and what are The FoRTuNaTe ONES outside of a collection of self righteous IDIOTS, who have completely lost their grip on reality! Which I guess it can happen when your heads are crammed so far up each others asses none of yall can tell the difference between a bad idea and
!!!!!F'N WeT FaRT!!!!
...SO COME ON AMBER, LET US IN ON THE SECRET!!!
Tell us what in the unholy hell makes being among your number so phuckin
???F.O.R.T.U.N.A.T.E?
Cause From Where The Rest oF US SIT THeRE IS NoTHING FORTuNaTe ABoUT BeinG A LiTeRaL SeCTIoN OF JMONTS HUMAN CENTIPEDE!!!
...Which brings me to my other question. I kinda alluded to it eariler when I brought up the SMASH Champion being the only FoRTuNaTe ONE to be pulling his weight presntly. ANd well I mean if you remove the eighty seven segments a week and what are THe FoRTUnATe ONES really?... so I mean look time out guys K?...But it seems to me that the recycled "dominant heel faction" is having issues with doing the LITeRAL
!!!!!ONe F'N THiNG THey CaMe 2GeTHeR To Do!!!!!
...Which IS EvEN FuNNieR WHeN YoU TaKe INTO ACCoUNT THe ONLy THiNG THe FoRTuNaTe ONEz HaVe ACCoMPLiSHeD...
iS GiViNG THe FaNs A MoMeNT To TaKe A PISS, Or Go MaKe A HoT POCKET DuRING THe SHoW anD NOT MISS ANYTHING IMPORTANT!!!
Which brings me to my second and most important question,
???If YoU'RE GuNNa BE A DOMiNaNT HeeL FaCTioN???
...Shouldn't You Like Ya KNOW...LiKe DOMINATE first or something???
Whuch brings us on right back around to you Amber, and I'm here to regretfully inform you that the next episode of SMASH aint where you start to turn things around, actually if anything matters for you are probably gunna get a whole
!!!!!HeLL oF A L-O-T WoRSE!!!!
Cause THiS WiLL MaRK YoUR 3rd FaiLeD ATTeMPT TO CLaIM A WGWF Championship!!!
Which if this was baseball then YOU my DEAR WOULD BE OUT!!! Just like if this were football yall would most likely be the
~$~ JeR$ey SHoRE FUMBLERZ ~$~
...Hmm SOUNDS LIKE A TERRIBLE REALITY SHOW OR A TAYLOR SWIFT COACHED XFL TEAM!!!
Cause I gotta tell ya I've heard yalls jerk off circle called all sorts of different things and every fuggin one of them SUITS yall better than the current one you are operating under! And it is off the strength of that well just like yalls IMBeCiLe of a leader you Ms. Mansley
!!!!ARE ALL F'n TaLK!!!!
...And TaLK, My DeaR, ESpeCiaLLy WHeRe YoU ARe CoNCeRNeD is VeRy CHeaP!!!
…Which is why you find yourself in the same boat Moriah Mills a few moments ago, only you are way more delusional, which is why you will not be SMASH's first X-Division Champion because UNFORTUNATLEY FOR YOU Ms. FoRTuNaTe ONE you just like Moriah Mills are wasting your time
!!!!!DReaMiN CINDeReLLa DReaMZ!!!!
WHiLE LiVING IN A WHORE'S REALITY!!!
I mean I’m sure you know me by now so you had to expect I wouldn’t be throwing you a bunch of respect that you delusionally believe you deserve, but really the only amusing thing about you Amber Mansley
!!!!!AT F’N ALL!!!!!
IS THAT IN A GROUP ENTIRLEY MADE UP OF SaNDy Va-JAY-JAYZ…You HaPPeN To Be The OnLy ONe THaT HaS OnE…FAR AS WE KNOW!!!
And so far that's really all you and your little girl scout troop are! Because the truth everyone knows and whispers behind your back Amber Mansley is that while you do have talent, to carry the honor of being the first guiding light of SMASH’s X-Division would be completely lost and wasted on you!!! You simply lack the charisma, talent, and of course the ORIGINALITY that typically comes with someone who is going to pioneer a significant part of Monday Night Smash’s landscape. You are the company you keep there DARLIN, and I think you are in a group that is based off of empty promises, idle threats and of course sheer and utter
!!!!!!BuLLSHiT!!!!!
…ANd THE TRUTH YOU WILL LEARN WAY TOO LATE IS THAT LIES ARE ALL INDEED SINKING SHIPS!!!
SO JMONT paid your way onto the TITANIC metaphorically speaking…SO don’t be surprised the day all of this DROWNS YOU…You know if I don’t do it first!!! SO Amber Mansley I know I have told a joke or two here but know this is something I take very seriously! It’s the reason I came back because this business has too many half ass, recycled re-run mother phuckers who have damaged the very integrity of the very thing we all spill our blood, sweat, and tears into building up. So look maybe the entire group doesn’t need a name change. Perhaps it’s you Ms. Mansley…Because well I callz em like I seez em MAMA and really if it were up to me we would start calling you
!!!!!AMBeR WiNDoWZ!!!!
CAUSE THE REST OF US CAN SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOU YA SILLY BIATCHHH!
And look whenever you choke down this jagged little truth and you do find this may not be the right place for you if you want my advice sister…BE THe the first block removed from the living JENGA tower that is the FORTUNATE ONES…Maybe read a book or watch some more SESAME STREET, maybe put more effort into actually being the person you pretend you are, and less time filming stupid shit segments most of the wrestling watching world goes to the bathroom during…
!!!!ON PuRPo$E!!!!
…SO CHANGE THE F’N CHANNEL WHILE YOU STILL CAN MISS AMBER NOBOOBZ!!!!
Because I can’t predict the future, and who knows maybe you pull it off, maybe you beat me…maybe your friends help you…WHo knows the possibilities are endless…SO before we part till our date with destiny I will tell you what I do know about our present situation MAM! I will tell you that if you have designs on righting your growing pile of wrongs, and becoming one step closer to real life wrestling immortality as you write your name into the histories. If that isn’t what you are after then you have already FAILED and know the consequences of your oversight is going to come at the cost of one of your most violent, savage, and ruthless experiences of your entire life! I promised SMASH a better degree of criminal and MONDAY NIGHT ON SMASH, I AM GOING TO GIVE IT TO THEM…You know right after I force you to
!!!!!SoaK!!!!!
!!!!!SoMe!!!!
!!!!!!!UP!!!!!!
…RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY!!!
…See how Fortunate you feel then ya SILLY BITCH!!! See you MONDAY!!
Ohhh and ONE MORE THING, if there is anyone out there that can help me with a serious problem I’d really appreciate it. See I’ve tried everything, downey, bleach…combinations even and I can’t seem to get the tiny shards of what remains of SETH STEVENZ
!!!!!!DiGNiTy oFF MY F’N BOOTZ?
…Mannnn I JUST GOT THESE BITCHES TOO!!!
HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
…It’ Been YOUR PLea$uRE!!!