Post by lajohnnystylez on Nov 12, 2023 3:13:31 GMT -5
???WHAT???
Is IN$ANITy ReaLLy???
Hey you, pussy boy wake up I’m phuckin talkin to ya! Get the phuck up we don’t have much time!
We find ourselves in a dark room…Well we think it’s a room anyway because anything and everything we see is black, until a light suddenly turns on and we see the man you all know as THe PaRaGoNa oF AMeRiKaNa, lying on the ground while some joker sits on a stool looking down on him while he carelessly smokes a cigarette. He even leans over and nudges Johnny with his shoe that sadly isn’t a clown shoe…it’s just a regular shoe..LAME, we know!
Johnny eventually begins to stir and he sets up with a hazed look on his face. He seems confused and deeply confuddled as he looks around trying to get his bearings and figure out what part of the reservation he is on presently. But as he looks up at the man dressed like Frank Sinatra but wearing crudely applied facepaint. Johnny then sits up after his senses (or enough of them anyway) return and he looks around the room still confused asks one of his many…oh so many questions…
LA Johnny Stylez: Um, excuse me sir, but I was wondering if you would be so kind as to inform me of who in the undead holy shit are you, and if it isn’t too much to request we take it a step further and you also shed some light on just where in the
???F’N F-U-C-K???
WE ARE??? Cause Of ALL The WILD PLACeS I’VE WoKeN Up, ThiS OnE’S UP THERE!!!
JeSTyR SeRyoU$: Well OK, I’ll tell you but you have to promise to not freak the phuck out ok? Because like I said sunshine we are on the got damn clock, and you are going to want some sort of explanation when you are revived!
LA Johnny Stylez: Wait revived?...AM I DEAD? Did I loose the buried alive match?...OHH PHUCK ME if I did lose please tell me I’m phucking dead!
JeSTyR SeRyoU$: Well ok, bad news first I guess, yes things in the buried alive match didn’t exactly go so well…but look on the brightside it brought us here!
LA Johnny Stylez: Yeah, you know what crazy creepy clown molester sure look at bright side…be glad I’m here…But I’m still not one hundred about WHERE THE PHUCKIN HELL WE ARE TO BEGIN WITH!!!
JeSTyR SeRyoUS: Ohh grow up Johnny, think about it you know exactly where we are! But look since we are on the clock I’ll just go head and splain it to you! SO you’ve seen FIGHT CLUB RIGHT?...RIGHT…this is kinda like that! Because whether or not you are willing to admit it aloud you created sort of a fail safe in the back of your mind incase you did not come out on top of your run in with Damage. You knew if you lost it would be one of those things the mouth breathers refer to as
!!!!!A SERVERE WAKE UP CALL!!!!
And So We ARE LeFT w/ THe NoTIoN THaT THeSe DRa$TiK TIMES WILL InDeeD ReQuIRE EVeN MoRe DRa$TiK MeaSuREz
…And so you created me! Now I know what you are thinking because you are me and I am you. This isn’t the lame Corey Bull show where he shows up talking like he is Venom or some shit. This here is the one and only time you and I will meet to discuss things. You are simply here Mr. Stylez to complete the transition. SO before you go through that door riddle me this assbag…
???WHAT i$ INSaNiTy ReaLLy???
Those people at all them 13 STeP MeeTiNGZ say the definition of INSANITY is continuously doing the same thing and expecting different results…So I guess by that measure you are INSANE…Or at least you were, because honestly if you are feelin what im feelin…and trust me you are I can honestly say we…I have never been so clear. I actually feel for the first time in a long time everything makes perfect sense! Just know Johnny that things were always going to go this way. Special problems require special solutions and the goal is still the same. Which of course is to tear out the weeds
~!$!~ RooT~n~F’n~STEM ~!$!~
To EnSURe OUR NEW LANDSCAPE THRIVES AND SUCCEEDS!!!
I believe you will find it’s easier to fall into when you just accept the fact that you knee deep down we were always headed here. The game has evolved and so we must as well…But we want them to take us…or ME SERIOUSLY DON’T WE?....NO SCRATCH THAT THEY WILL TaKE US SERyOu$Ly, we won’t give them a
!!!!F’N CHOICE!!!!
THeN OnE By ONE…THEY WILL GET THE JOKE…Err HoPeFuLLy!!!
The joke that you have been cackling about in the back of your mind long before we arrived to this day. THe JOKE is of course that this is the extreme we must go to…We have to do all of this, go out of our way and create this whole other persona so they can see the punchline at the end of all this is obviously
!!!!EaCH ONe oF THeM!!!!
…ESP THAT PHUCKIN MO-MO THEY GOT US FACIN AT SMASH!!!
But more on him in a moment, because right now I need you strand up take my hand and let me in. Know the only way to become what you…we….ME have always meant to be is by taking this step. The only kind of victory is ABSOLUTE, no BLOW is
!!!!!!2 F’N LoW!!!!!
FRoM HeRE oN OUT IT’S ALL FAIR F’n GAME!!!
And by the time they are done actually learning what the actual cost of true greatness is, they will see that they brought this on themselves. THE WGWF needs a new brand of CRIMINAL, one not afraid to be what he is, one gets it..I mean REALLY F’N GETS IT! SMASH like any other promotion needs a villain who knows the value of a good laugh…and furthermore understands the value of being the one who winds up
!!!!GeTTiN THe La$T F’N LAUGH!!!!
WHICH HAS ALWAYS BEEN AND ALWAYS BEEN ME!!!
SO any time any of them show you a weakness or vulnerability go right at it…Make them pay every phucking time…Because the way to get them to take us
!!!!!SeRyOu$Ly!!!!!
…IS TO F’N MAKE THEM!!!
ANd after the bodies begin to pile and start stinking they won’t be left with a choice. But at least then they will get the joke…and will hopefully be able to laugh about it, because if you don’t laugh well I was told if we don’t laugh then we’d all
!!!!F’N GO MAD!!!!
SO CoMe ON TaKe MY HaND AND LET’S GET THIS GOT DAMN SHOW ON THE ROAD!!!
JesTyR extends his hand as Johnny looks around and shrugs with his most sincere FUCK IT face in his aresenal. JeSTyR pulls Johnny up to his feet as JesTyR places both of his hands on Johnny’s shoulders and places his forehead on his and then suddenly the room covered in darkness illuminates and it’s like someone turned every got damn light in the house on, and then just as you are able to look around and get a good view suddenly
OUR…I MEAN MY EYES OPEN…
Johnny sits up and finds himself in the locker room before Monday Night SMash airs for the very first time. He has his phone in his lap as he looks down. He then shoots his head to give it a second look after noticing a post-it note stuck to it that says PLAY ME. Johnny looks up and sees a mirror directly in front of him. He is wearing a black tailormade armani suit and he has his face painted like the man in his head. He looks back at his phone with the note on it and shakes his head desperately trying to recall where he was or how in the phuck he got here. SO he removes the note and hits play…ANd we do not hear and see LA Johnny Stylez…We only hear the man you will come to know and love as
JeSTyR SeRyoU$: Dear Seth Stevens as your first opponent on Monday Night Smash I wanted to be the first to welcome you to a brand new day in WGWF history! A little birdie told me that this was not to be your first go round with the WGWF, and from what I understand you were also slightly decorated being a former champion and what now…And look lemme just tell ya at first I was super impressed that we were going to have a former WGWF champion in our midst, and while I’m sure they were and probably still are huge accomplishments I’m afraid the same can’t be said about the general publics opinion of you, because well when I tried to put together an official welcoming party I had a hard time finding anyone that you were even here in the
!!!!F’N 1st PLACE!!!!
…ANd HAD AN EVER HARDER TIME FINDING SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY GIVES A PHUCK IF YOU ARE BACK!!!
Because you know Sethy poo, when I asked the rhetorical “THEM” about you the general consensus was that while your in ring skills were decent (ON A GOOD DAY), but the one area you lacked…and in my best guestimation probably still lack is that one thing that separates ordinary men like you from extraordinary ones like me and that one thing you sir have not a drop, lick, crumb, morsel or grain of is a little thing the rasslin promoters used to call
!!!!C.H.A.R.I.S.M.A.!!!!
Because You Sir Have THe CHARISMA OF A WET F’N BLANKET!!!
!!!!GoT DayUm BRiGHTSIDe!!!!
WHiCH IS THiS TiMe YOU’LL BE MUCH EASIER TO FORGET THaN THe LaST TIMe!!!
Monday Night SMash is the beginning of something big, a new era of pro wrestling will begin as we bring our collective talents together to produce what will become “our brand” of pro rasslin, it will be unique and what sets us aside from any and everyone else! ANd you Mr. Seth have a very small role to play in all of this, but an important one at that..SO please try and keep that in mind when my foot slams your face into the hardest surface I can find! ANd well just because I couldn’t find actual people necessary to form a WELCOME BACK party doesn’t mean I didn’t do my boy a solid and went out of my way to make his return as warm as I could…See look!
JeSTyR SeRyOu$ turns his phone camera to show us Seth Stevenz locker which has been “decorated” by Mr. SeRyOu$ personally. The entire locker is trashed and has HAHA…SETH SUX sprey painted all over it…the camera is able to zoom in and focus on Seth’s bag we see his trunks loosely hanging out of the bag as Jestyr walks over holding a black light on them, which as soon as the black light touches Seth’s trunks it lights up so much it actually looks like all the semen are down there having a rave…ew.
JeSTyR SeRyoU$: But look the real reason I was making you this video Seth is I owe you an apology…You see I made a special deal with the powers that be here on the SMASH brand which allows me to use the SMASH backstage area to shoot scenes for BRAZZERS…and well the scene we shot eariler today was around here and when I found out what he did, it was too late. No caging that monster once you let him out, ya know?...But I want to be a man and let you know how sorry I am that this happened…And well I have to be real with yall that was a lot of got damn semen, I mean I been at this a while…and that was…that was just damn…thas all I can say or think…just DAMN, that was fuggin NASTY YALL, ok I had to say it sorry…
Scene then switches to Jestyr Seryous filming two popular adult filmstars Tommy Gunn and Mason Moore who are going at it on the bench in front of what we now know is Seth Stevenz bag. We can tell by the obnoxious moaning that one or probably both reached the point of climax, and before you could bat your eye lashes Ms. Moore was on her knees eyes closed waiting for what we refer to in the biz as
!!!!THe MoNey $HoT!!!!
…And Well Let’s Just SAY I’VE NEVER SEEN THAT MUCH MAN JUICE IN ALL MY YEARZ OF SHOOTING PORN!!!
Mason Moore seems beside herself reaching for something to wipe the gibbity goop off her face, yet the way her hands continuously reached out for something her eyes were unable to see but she desperately desperately needed so her hands continued to grab until she reached over to the side and reached her hand in Seth Stevens gym bag and grabs his ring trunks and proceeds to wipe what was most likely a top three Genis World Record amount of man love juice off her face. Watching her wipe her face is something you can never unsee unfortunately but by the time she was done my boys wrestling trunks were…hmm lets go with
!!!!BiSMuRCHeD!!!!
To Say THe VeRy…VERY F’N LeaST!!!
But ya know by the time our match rolls around here this evening it should mostly be dry, I mean hopefully ya know. But again this was…Yeah Ive never seen anything like it before ever..and like I said I been in this biz so as ya know that’s saying something! So sorry ya know…and next time we will definitely
!!!!TRy & Be MoRe CaReFuL!!!!
P.S. I included a small bottle of the dollar store rip off of TIDE at my own expense!!
P.S.S. Also included (once again) at my own expense is a literal “bag of dicks” well kinda they are actually gummy candy that are mostly used at bachelorette parties…But still don’t let that deter you I still sincerely suggest you gobble up
!!!!EVeRy GoT DaMn OnE IN THe BaG!!!!!
Go AHEAD…WHILE YOU STILL GOT YA FUCKIN TEETH!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
JeSTyR SeRyOu$: Ohhh man, this is great! See the real reason I am standing here today Seth, is not just because I can’t wait to stomp your stupid idiot face into the ring canvas, but because of something so much bigger! The world we live in believe it or not, like it or not was built, formed, and fashioned by some of the greatest villains in the world, but see that is what I came here to prove…The SMASH brand of the WGWF will not be defined by some sort of hero that straps the company to their back and even say most of their prayers and take all their got damn vitimans! And that my friends is the biggest joke of all, because here in the for real
!!!!ReaL WoRLD!!!!
…THeRE AiNT No SUCH THiNG AS HEROS!!!!
They exist only in comic books and very over produced movies! At the end of the day they all can and eventually will be corrupted! SO I council you all to stay clear of these jackals in sheeps clothing, they are the ones who really can’t be trusted, and the ones who must really be brought to their knees! SO in conclusion if SMASH is going to be built properly then it is going to need a
!!!! “ PRoPeR ViLLaN “ !!!!
…No Nothing LiKe THe F’N MO-MO’s THaT THiNK THeMSeLVeS “HEELS”
HA…Heels that’s phuckin funny! So as you see I have my work cut out for me Seth…So please accept these gifts and my sincerest apology for the mess, because I want you to know that when I say I’m sorry you can tell Im being
!!!!SeRyOu$!!!!
…Or AT LeaST YOU WILL BE BY THE TIME IT’S ALL OVER!!!
Right after I take your warm welcome, as well as whatever ambitionz hopes and dreams I can get my hands on then find the nearest brickwall and dash them as hard as I can directly into it to see how many hundreds of pieces I can shatter them all into, and that my good friend is precisely the moment you look up and realize you have become the first person on Smash to
!!!!SoaK!!!!
!!!!SoMe!!!
!!!!!!UP!!!!!
…The Name IS SeRyOu$ by THE way…”LaUGHiNg ALWAYZ” JeSTyR SeRyOu$
…and incase you were wondering…The ANSWER IS YES…This indeed
…Has Been YOUR PLeaSuRE!!!
As we see the man now known as Jestyr Seryous make his way toward the exit of the locker room he passes a near by television in the locker room area and on it is a special FOX NEWS REPORT that reads New Orleans HONORS FAVORITE SON FRANK PATRICK VENABLE WITH KEYS TO THE CITY HONOR, current WGWF superstar reacts to the news af…
!!!!!!!BAM!!!!!!!
Feel Free TO SEE YOURELVEZ OUT NOW…And make sure you tune into the first episode of Monday Night SMASH, I hear it’s gunna be DOPE!!!
4:21
BeTTeR LaTe
-THaN-
!!NeVeR!!