Post by Everybody Hates Jenny Myst on Sept 9, 2023 19:38:34 GMT -5
It was a cloudy day with a slight breeze, a much needed respite from the oppressive heatwave much of the country had been facing for a good portion of the last few weeks. Inside, where Jenny was, was muggy. A mass of humanity sludging through their favorite Saturday afternoon lunch spot, with children running around, some of them screaming, most of them smelling like the piss-covered crotch goblins they are.
McDonalds in Dallas, Texas, wasn’t just a fast-food place, it was a damn tourist attraction. People from far and wide came to clog their arteries and order Diet Coke’s with Big Mac’s so they could tell their counselor they were being “conservative” with their weight watching. TCU sucked, the Cowboys were on the road this week, and the Rangers took a nose dive the likes of……
Well….
September 11th.
There really was nothing else to do in Dallas on a Saturday so they all packed into the lobby of the area’s largest McDonalds like it was Universal Studios, shouting their orders at overwhelmed minimum wage workers.
Jenny sat cross-legged, checking her phone every so often from any updates from her partner, Amber, who agreed to meet up with her to go over “strategy” for their tag match. Jenny had told her she wanted to teach her a few things about trust, and about how to be a real unit as a tag team. She was, after all, one half of the OCW Tag Team Champions as it stood. Even though Amber was running late, Jenny didn’t mind. She had her word that she would come, and that was enough for her…….for now.
The entrance to the play place was blocked off with X shaped purple tape that stretched floor to ceiling. A child would every so often try to enter the play-place, but Jenny had hired a personal security guard to keep the little demons out of her demonstration area. BRADDOCK, a hulking brute who was undefeated in OCW and currently in place for a World Title shot over there. He was paid to stand there with his arms crossed, glaring at the children as they tried to come into the X’d off exhibit. He did his job, and if a ovary-demon was able to sneak past him Jenny was there with the “eh eh eh…….scoot” and a smug sense of satisfaction. She only had to pay him in PBR and a Ruth's Chris gift card–he enjoyed a good steak because who doesn’t–and to Jenny he was well worth the cheap bear and overpriced steak.
Finally, her phone dinged, Amber had arrived.
AMBY: ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS JEN?! MCDONALDS?! I DROVE 45 MINUTES FROM THE HOTEL FOR MC-FUCKING-DONALDS?
JENNY: Watch your language please, there are children present.
AMBER: It was a text message?
JENNY: Inside, I will have security come get you.
AMBER: Security, at McDonalds?
It wasn’t long before Amber walked in, looking disgusted, following behind BRADDOCK who went back to his post and popped a PBR. He was already told he couldn’t drink on the premises, to which he laughed. Jenny appreciated that.
“AMBY! You made it!”
“Don’t call me that.”
Amber looked at the massive ball pit behind Jenny, and noticed that they were all the same color. Purple.
“So, is there a purpose for me being here or are you wasting my time like you waste everyone else’s?”
“GOOD QUESTION!” Jenny’s eyes lit up, causing Amber to step back a bit.
“You see these balls…….”
“Unfortunately.”
Jenny motioned for her to come over. She noticed out of the corner of her eye that there were several snotty nosed kids with their faces pressed up against the glass, dripping with envy that these two adults got to play in the ball pit normally reserved for them.
The purple expanse seemed to go on forever. A universe of purple circles. Every single one of them had a smiley face drawn on them with X’s for eyes. Amber looked horrified, and concerned for Jenny’s mental well being. There were over 20,000 balls in the pit!
“So……..what is the point of all this?” The force of her eye roll could have caused a hurricane.
“There is one ball in there with an upside down smiley face. You need to find it.”
“You find it.”
“I know where it is, that would be cheating!”
Amber didn’t look impressed. But then again, when is she ever?
“Look, the point of this is that you have to know your opponents inside and out. You need to know all of their flaws. What makes them the same, what makes them different. All of these balls may seem the same, bland, boring, generic, just like our opponents this week, but if you can find that one thing different you can remove it, and take their advantage away.”
Amber looked at Jen like she had three heads. There was no possible way she was serious!
Jenny’s expression didn’t change, and Amber took a deep breath.
“Okay….okay then…….”
She takes a sanitizer bottle and a small lotion out of her purse, squirting each into her hand. Better to be safe than sorry. After applying both substances to her hands, she took another deep breath and waded into the sea of balls. She began to pull them frantically, looking for the one she was supposed to find, and tossing them aside when they weren’t the correct one. A layer of sweat broke out on Amber’s face as her pace quickened.
“She gets to have fun mommy!” A kid whined from the over crowded lobby. “Why can’t we go in!”
Amber looked up, expecting to shoot her partner a death stare, but she was nowhere to be seen. Amber stopped for a second to wipe her forehead with her arm.
“Weeeeeeee!", she turned to see Jenny sliding down the slide, arms up in child-like euphoria.
Amber shot her a look. “Really?”
Jenny lands into the ball pit and pops up.
“You find it yet?”
“No. I haven’t. Do you know how long that would take—--”
Jenny puts a finger on her lips to shush her and Amber slaps her hand away. She is getting fed up with Jenny’s games.
“Frustration isn’t the answer. Your opponents will feed off the frustration, use it to their advantage.”
“This isn’t my first match, you know…..”
Her patience was wearing thin with the bleached blonde Yoda. She did smirk to herself, thinking that Jenny and Yoda were about the same size.
Jenny dove back under the ball pile again. Amber sighed and kept looking at the balls. The floor around the pit was filling up from the incorrect balls she was tossing.
BRADDOCK watched from the corner, crushing a PBR and popping another with a burp. He shot a look at a child trying to sneak in, causing him to fall backwards.
Amber actually made good progress but wasn’t even close to finished. When she looked back up again, Jenny was slurping a McCafe in the corner. How the hell did she get over there without Amber noticing?
The blonde was fed up. But then again, when is she not?
“Damnit Jen……I’m done. I am starting to think it’s not here and this all just some sort of twisted game for your amusement.”
She steps out of the ball pit.
“We have a match to focus on and you’re busy worrying about shenanigans.”
She reaches for her sanitizer again, her lip curling as she rubbed it up both arms. Those ball pits are disgusting.
Jenny sighed.
“Okay, Amby……”
“STOP. CALLING. ME. AMBY.”
There was a gravel in her voice, so much so that BRADDOCK stopped what he was doing (drinking) to look over.
“I guess we have had enough fun for the day.”
“You call that fun?!”
Jenny stands up, wiping her overalls as if there were crumbs on them. “Are you angry with me?”
Amber shook her head, folding her arms.
“No. But I don’t like my time being wasted, and I feel like that is all you’ve done here. I need like four showers after this and a glass of wine. If you don’t mind I am going to go back to my luxury sports car and get the hell out of this hovel you chose to dick around in today. I’ll see you at the arena.”
Jenny sighed, pulling a ball out of the pocket of her overalls.
It was the ball with the upside down smiley.
She tossed it to Amber, who caught it with wide eyes.
“YOU HAD IT THE ENTIRE TIME? AND YOU LET ME GO IN THERE?!”
Jenny patted BRADDOCK on the shoulder, and he put the crushed cans into a big black garbage bag. She handed him the gift card and told him he could go. He saluted her and exited out the door to the bright Dallas afternoon.
Jenny looked back at Amber, who was looking even more annoyed, and still holding the ball Jenny had kept hidden from her.
“Just when you think you have the answer, they change the question.” She rips down the X tape and the kids come funneling in like desperate concert-goers seeing their favorite band.
“Expect the unexpected.”
Jenny disappeared into the sea of genital consequences and Amber lost sight of her. She looked down at the ball, then back at the crowd.
“Damn,” she said aloud, the realization coming to her. “You really do have to expect anything, even against the bottom of the barrel.”
A child bumped into her and she gave a disgusted look. She looked at the ball once more, before slipping it into her designer purse
As she made her way to her car, she jumped back gasping.
Jenny popped out of nowhere.
“So did ya have fun?! No purpose in learning if you can’t have fun!”
“Jesus, I almost laid you the fuck out! Don’t do that!”
“Don’t tease me like that,” she said, presenting her face.
“No, I am not going to hit you, I need you this week.”
“And next week.”
“Ugh. Yes.”
Amber pushed by her, heading for her car.
Jenny followed.
“So you didn’t have fun?”
“Did you?”
“Well……no. We missed the grand finale.”
“There’s more?!”
Jenny giggled.
“I put broken glass at the bottom of the ball pit.”
Amber looked down to see she had a few cuts on her legs that she hadn’t noticed because she was so focused on finding the ball.
“Gonna have a lotta angry parents……”
Amber turned the corner and Jenny kept talking.
“You know…….finding the perfect partner…….”
Amber was almost to her car and away from this lunatic.
“.....is like finding a needle in a stack of needles.”
She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw a mountain of used needles sitting next to her car.
Jenny looked at her and raised her eyebrows invitingly.
“Not a fucking chance.”
She tosses her bag into the car and is about to shut the door when she notices Jenny standing there still.
“Can I ride with you?”
Amber shuts the door.
“It has been a whirlwind since I arrived here. I was thrown into the fire almost immediately, and got my signature win over Lycana at the biggest show of the year. Then the shenanigans last Brawl, and Kim survived with her belt….but she didn’t beat me. Why? Because she can’t beat me. It is only a matter of time before I take that precious belt off her and send her back to the middle of the pack where she belongs.
This week, I team up with Amber Mansley to take on two opponents I had to look up. They aren’t the commanding names that draw attention, they aren’t the ratings bringers like Amber and I, and I am not even sure they work here? Still to be determined.
If you wanted to give us a week off, you coulda just given us the week off—just saying.
Now we get to get paid to beat your enhancement talent to a pulp and sweat off our makeup in the process! You will be getting a bill!
Amber has proven she can compete at this level, and I have proven to all of you that no matter who you put in front of me I am going to make them wish they were dead. I think I have proven that I will do anything and everything to anyone to get a victory. The dusty ass cowboy and Ariana Grande with a heroin addiction really stand a chance? I stepped in the ring and stood across from LEGENDS. Joe Dirt and the Crackwhore, I am sorry but they don’t stack up. It’s like Coke and Pepsi vs. Mountain Lightning and Sam’s Cola. ‘The Pride’.....well they say pride cometh before the fall, and at the risk of sounding cliche, your fall is coming in a few hours. Amber and I may be different, but we have the same goal in mind, we both want to be the best.
You both just want a paycheck.
That is the difference. You are happy just being on the roster, I am not happy unless I AM the roster. You know, goals and such. You may be happy being able to compete in the ring, break a sweat, get some cardio. I am not happy unless I have scalped you and made a sunhat from your forehead skin. Amber and I are names that transcend rosters, main event pay per views, and sell out arenas. WE have to come down to DARK to face YOU. What’s that tell ya?
You’re washed, and not in the good way. No rubber duckies and lavender soaps for you, but blood and gore and prolapses assholes. We are going to make a statement in that ring, and show you that blondes truly do it better.
I don't even know who you two clowns are, nor do I care. You haven't earned that from me yet. Amber has seen you in the ring, she knows how terrible you two are, alive and in the flesh! Up close and personal! So........Amber, I'm let you tell them the TRUTH."
“Frank Patrick Venable and Joule Ortiz of the Pride.
“Hold on, hold on! I’ma let you finish, " Jenny doing her best Kanye impression, “but his ACTUAL NAME is Frank Patrick! He even has a stupid redneck name! I thought the vest was bad enough! Okay, continue.”
“Very unfortunate you both are the ones having to come off a harsh loss at Summer Madness but then again, it's what you're both known for. Well for you Mr. FPV, you've been enjoying your success from your days in WCF all the way to Action Wrestling but there are times where your success can be swept under the ring.
And Joule? I bet you're happy to finally be in the ring. You've been itching to prove yourself but to latch yourself onto someone like FPV who drops from the top of the mountain many times? You should have been smarter.
I want you both to understand something.
Jenny Myst and I are two women who know what it means to win by any means necessary. Although we share different perspectives, we know what it takes to get the job done hence why we were both victorious at Summer Madness. Surely, our opponents thought little of us but it's by their mistake they underestimated us.
But we won't underestimate you both.
As much as many idiots have done in the past with you both, we'd be fools to make that mistake. The hottest attractions in WGWF losing to bums like you?
Like giving ew vibes.
But allow us to do you both a favor. When myself and Myst embarrass you both, it's because life made it that way. There's a pecking order in our society where we stay at the top and govern how you live. We don't need peasants such as yourselves who got ragdolled in the Tag Team Championship gauntlet coming to teach us what it means to be a tag team.
The sheik of these people. How pathetic do you think we are? You've come into WGWF and have done nothing yet the stars such as myself and Jenny have already evolved past you both. It just shows how the obsolete can make themselves look worse.
To think I grew up watching you Frank and to see how far you've fallen is truly impeccably funny.
No thanks to you either Joule, you've been nothing but a low life in this industry. A no-name barely scratching the surface of what it means to be a true star in the ring.
The Pride? Don't make us laugh. What is there to be proud of for you two? Why should we waste our time on both of you? You know what? I'll tell you why. You used to be great but not anymore. Frank, you're a former multiple-time world champion who has proven to be the absolute best but that was so long ago. What happened to you? Have you fallen from grace? I think you've finally allowed time to do its bidding and render you useless. And to make matters worse, you've brought Joule Ortiz under your wing just for you to have her fall and dragged to hell. You're like a vampire leeching onto human flesh to survive and Joule Ortiz is your ticket to freedom.
I pray for you Joule, I do. Myself and Myst are spiritual believers and we honestly pray you see the light. You're being controlled by a man who only cares for himself. You know his history of betraying and using others for his own personal benefit. What makes you no different than a pawn?
I've been at the mercy of men and had enough of it. You remember my mentor, Andre Holmes, who is friends with both of you? Yeah, I know the history and it's not a perfect one. The Pride. You should be ashamed of yourselves for even naming yourselves that.
Hey Jenny, you know our friends were involved in doing terrible things? I won't name them but they have a history that's worse than ours.
And that's the beauty of it. People are so quick to judge us but when the light shines on them, they have nothing to say. We don't care about you two. Jenny Myst and I are focused on one thing and that's brutalizing you both so bad you'll never have to step foot into a wrestling ring. You're disposable while us? We're the main attraction for everyone to see in WGWF.
So where do we go from here?
It's simple. We walk over you. It's the natural order of life. Don't take it personally, you guys were never fit to become what we already achieved. We're at a level of stardom you can't imagine. Despite everything you've both done collectively, you still haven't broken through the glass ceiling and remained an underground legend. All you two do is be there and that's it. You're just a prop in a movie but never the main characters.
However, we'll show you what it means to be relevant for once. You're entering into a tag team match with myself and Jenny Myst. How bad do you think this will turn out for you both? You may be a tag team but you're not a tag team who can win even against the lowest of competition. Us, on the other hand, we have proven how formidable be we on our own so just imagine what we'll do when we're combined. That's something you just can't fathom and you never will.
On WGWF's DARK, we will break every bone in your body and throw you back to the wolves. Jenny and I have one thing in common and that's winning. We wish we could say the same for you but by the looks of how the odds are stacked, I'd say The Pride won't be lasting long. Frank Patrick Venable and Joule Ortiz. Welcome to WGWF where they don't accept average in their league.
That's what you both are, mid.
And it's sad. You used to be great but now? Nothing. We'll pick up the slack and make sure you both look somewhat okay. As for now, step aside and let the actual veterans do the work. Piss off."
This week, I team up with Amber Mansley to take on two opponents I had to look up. They aren’t the commanding names that draw attention, they aren’t the ratings bringers like Amber and I, and I am not even sure they work here? Still to be determined.
If you wanted to give us a week off, you coulda just given us the week off—just saying.
Now we get to get paid to beat your enhancement talent to a pulp and sweat off our makeup in the process! You will be getting a bill!
Amber has proven she can compete at this level, and I have proven to all of you that no matter who you put in front of me I am going to make them wish they were dead. I think I have proven that I will do anything and everything to anyone to get a victory. The dusty ass cowboy and Ariana Grande with a heroin addiction really stand a chance? I stepped in the ring and stood across from LEGENDS. Joe Dirt and the Crackwhore, I am sorry but they don’t stack up. It’s like Coke and Pepsi vs. Mountain Lightning and Sam’s Cola. ‘The Pride’.....well they say pride cometh before the fall, and at the risk of sounding cliche, your fall is coming in a few hours. Amber and I may be different, but we have the same goal in mind, we both want to be the best.
You both just want a paycheck.
That is the difference. You are happy just being on the roster, I am not happy unless I AM the roster. You know, goals and such. You may be happy being able to compete in the ring, break a sweat, get some cardio. I am not happy unless I have scalped you and made a sunhat from your forehead skin. Amber and I are names that transcend rosters, main event pay per views, and sell out arenas. WE have to come down to DARK to face YOU. What’s that tell ya?
You’re washed, and not in the good way. No rubber duckies and lavender soaps for you, but blood and gore and prolapses assholes. We are going to make a statement in that ring, and show you that blondes truly do it better.
I don't even know who you two clowns are, nor do I care. You haven't earned that from me yet. Amber has seen you in the ring, she knows how terrible you two are, alive and in the flesh! Up close and personal! So........Amber, I'm let you tell them the TRUTH."
“Frank Patrick Venable and Joule Ortiz of the Pride.
“Hold on, hold on! I’ma let you finish, " Jenny doing her best Kanye impression, “but his ACTUAL NAME is Frank Patrick! He even has a stupid redneck name! I thought the vest was bad enough! Okay, continue.”
“Very unfortunate you both are the ones having to come off a harsh loss at Summer Madness but then again, it's what you're both known for. Well for you Mr. FPV, you've been enjoying your success from your days in WCF all the way to Action Wrestling but there are times where your success can be swept under the ring.
And Joule? I bet you're happy to finally be in the ring. You've been itching to prove yourself but to latch yourself onto someone like FPV who drops from the top of the mountain many times? You should have been smarter.
I want you both to understand something.
Jenny Myst and I are two women who know what it means to win by any means necessary. Although we share different perspectives, we know what it takes to get the job done hence why we were both victorious at Summer Madness. Surely, our opponents thought little of us but it's by their mistake they underestimated us.
But we won't underestimate you both.
As much as many idiots have done in the past with you both, we'd be fools to make that mistake. The hottest attractions in WGWF losing to bums like you?
Like giving ew vibes.
But allow us to do you both a favor. When myself and Myst embarrass you both, it's because life made it that way. There's a pecking order in our society where we stay at the top and govern how you live. We don't need peasants such as yourselves who got ragdolled in the Tag Team Championship gauntlet coming to teach us what it means to be a tag team.
The sheik of these people. How pathetic do you think we are? You've come into WGWF and have done nothing yet the stars such as myself and Jenny have already evolved past you both. It just shows how the obsolete can make themselves look worse.
To think I grew up watching you Frank and to see how far you've fallen is truly impeccably funny.
No thanks to you either Joule, you've been nothing but a low life in this industry. A no-name barely scratching the surface of what it means to be a true star in the ring.
The Pride? Don't make us laugh. What is there to be proud of for you two? Why should we waste our time on both of you? You know what? I'll tell you why. You used to be great but not anymore. Frank, you're a former multiple-time world champion who has proven to be the absolute best but that was so long ago. What happened to you? Have you fallen from grace? I think you've finally allowed time to do its bidding and render you useless. And to make matters worse, you've brought Joule Ortiz under your wing just for you to have her fall and dragged to hell. You're like a vampire leeching onto human flesh to survive and Joule Ortiz is your ticket to freedom.
I pray for you Joule, I do. Myself and Myst are spiritual believers and we honestly pray you see the light. You're being controlled by a man who only cares for himself. You know his history of betraying and using others for his own personal benefit. What makes you no different than a pawn?
I've been at the mercy of men and had enough of it. You remember my mentor, Andre Holmes, who is friends with both of you? Yeah, I know the history and it's not a perfect one. The Pride. You should be ashamed of yourselves for even naming yourselves that.
Hey Jenny, you know our friends were involved in doing terrible things? I won't name them but they have a history that's worse than ours.
And that's the beauty of it. People are so quick to judge us but when the light shines on them, they have nothing to say. We don't care about you two. Jenny Myst and I are focused on one thing and that's brutalizing you both so bad you'll never have to step foot into a wrestling ring. You're disposable while us? We're the main attraction for everyone to see in WGWF.
So where do we go from here?
It's simple. We walk over you. It's the natural order of life. Don't take it personally, you guys were never fit to become what we already achieved. We're at a level of stardom you can't imagine. Despite everything you've both done collectively, you still haven't broken through the glass ceiling and remained an underground legend. All you two do is be there and that's it. You're just a prop in a movie but never the main characters.
However, we'll show you what it means to be relevant for once. You're entering into a tag team match with myself and Jenny Myst. How bad do you think this will turn out for you both? You may be a tag team but you're not a tag team who can win even against the lowest of competition. Us, on the other hand, we have proven how formidable be we on our own so just imagine what we'll do when we're combined. That's something you just can't fathom and you never will.
On WGWF's DARK, we will break every bone in your body and throw you back to the wolves. Jenny and I have one thing in common and that's winning. We wish we could say the same for you but by the looks of how the odds are stacked, I'd say The Pride won't be lasting long. Frank Patrick Venable and Joule Ortiz. Welcome to WGWF where they don't accept average in their league.
That's what you both are, mid.
And it's sad. You used to be great but now? Nothing. We'll pick up the slack and make sure you both look somewhat okay. As for now, step aside and let the actual veterans do the work. Piss off."