Post by "Venom" Xavier Lux on Aug 15, 2023 11:23:55 GMT -5
A man sits in the shadows, slouched in a chair, his silhouette barely able to be made out. There is a white spotlight in front of him, but for now, the only thing being illuminated by it are his black Timberland boots. Across from him, is a normal size window, propped open, giving you a glimpse of the outside where you can see that it is nighttime in some unknown city. The outside is quite noisy, so it’s likely not very late in the night, you can’t quite make out any of the noises, but you can tell it is a very busy city. We shift our focus away from that to what is standing in front of the open window: a sniper rifle propped on a tripod. It is currently aimed down but the barrel is not sticking out of the window, so likely not seen from the outside with so little lighting in the room. The man speaks from the shadows, his voice is normal, not too deep, not too raspy, just the voice of a man who seems relaxed, but focused, speaking with a purpose.
So this is WGWF… This is the house that Chris Page built, revived and has been running for close to a year and is, without a shadow of a doubt, one of the hottest promotions in the planet today.
He pauses and while we can’t see him do it, we hear a slight chuckle.
Or so he says…
He sits up on the chair.
Or so his roster says…
A roster that has a few people in it that I like to call friends… and if you know who I am, you know I keep less than a fist full of those… But my good friend Cholo, my homie J-Mont, and my Exile brother Peter Vaughn, all say the same thing… This is the place to be…
This is the World’s Greatest Wrestling Federation…
He leans forward, the spotlight hitting him dead on, revealing who he is.
Is it? Well, that is what I, “Venom” Xavier Lux is here to find out!
He stands up and walks forward, standing under the spotlight just long enough for us to get a glimpse of what he is wearing: black jeans which are tucked into the boots, a forest green untucked t-shirt with the acronym: “CCPE” in big bold golden Cain style letters. His head is freshly shaved and oiled, shining brightly, albeit briefly under the light. He stands behind the sniper rifle now, but doesn’t mess with it, instead, just looks out the window at the people walking by…
Xavier: By the time you see this: (a) you would have found out that my partner and I are the mystery team that entered Tag Team Turmoil and hopefully (b) we are already WGWF’s new Tag Team Champions of the World! But we know that winning it won’t be easy dog, and when it comes to a match like this there is only one thing that it really comes down to: luck of the draw. That’s right, much like the West Coast Rumble, it’s all about what number you get but here, in this tag format it means so much more because peeps won’t keep coming out behind ya… Nah, you have to eliminate them and then and only then it is when the next team will come out… Well, I watched the drawing live, and I gotta say, man we got lucky … Luckier than 5 other teams to be specific. That’s right, we drew #6 out of 9 teams and what this means is simply that instead of having to run the table and face off against 8 teams, we only have to worry about half of them. We only got to beat the team that would have had already at least 1 match, if not 4 and after we win, well, then we just need to win 2 more matches… Winning 8 matches is damn near impossible… You hear me Terry Marshall? IMPOSSIBLE! Your old ass drew number 1… First, let me just say: HA-HA! Second, I don’t care who you bring out to try to revive Sad Entertainment X-Press, but it ain’t happening for you old geezers… hell, I’ll be surprised if you make it past The Cassette Collective. By the way, newsflash nerds, it’s 2023, nobody gives a shit about cassettes! Leave that shit in the past and while you at it, leave old ass Terry Marshall and whoever he digs up from the poltergeist cemetery as well. Neither of you are running the table, that’s a guarantee. Now winning 3 matches? My partner and I have done that in the past, and can definitely do it again… and thankfully we don’t have to face teams like The Ultimate Alliance of Violence because let’s “face” it, I’m in CCPE with Bam Miller and Mac Bane and not only are they the Champs here, but I know firsthand how tough both men are. I’ve faced Mac one-on-one and lost. I’ve been in multi-men matches with Bam and I’ve won some, and lost others. They are as tough as they come and their tag team name is the truth… Then you have a team with MY MAIN MAN J-Mont! WHAT UP HOMIE! Him and I were running IIW before it decided to fold, but no need to get into any of that. Any team that has J-Mont as one of its members is already a winner, but as much as I love my boy, he has poor taste in partners… I mean Todd Duke? Yeah I know that’s not how he spells it, but he is a Todd to me. Sonya “Excuse Me While I Puke” Benson? And now, of all people, Atara “I’m only popular because I forced James to marry me” Raven…. Seriously J-Mont, choose your friends better… You got me in Mecca, that was a great decision in your partner… These partners of yours, not so much. Now the last team, the one that comes out right before us, is a team that is completely unknown to me: GPS, The Global Positioning System… You know, what we all use to get around when we are in our cars. Yeah okay, that’s not what GPS stands for but frankly it could stand for God Pucking Satan and it wouldn’t make a damn difference. We don’t know these guys and we don’t have the time to get to know them… The bottom line is that we will face only one of these four, and my money is either on the champs or in J-Mont and that whore of a partner he picked… Not because of her, but because of him. He can carry anyone, no matter how talentless they are… and she is, talentless. Whoever it is though, won’t be at 100%, that is another guarantee… and I don’t care who you are, if you are not 100% and you come up against The Sins of the Fathers, you, are gonna to lose. That is my third guarantee.
The man with venom in his veins takes a pause as he runs his fingers across the sniper rifle, then moves it from left to right slowly, pointing at the people below. Its single purpose likely being: ending someone’s life...
Xavier: I know what this looks like, but I’m not a murderer.
… or not.
Xavier:My father was, however. He was a well-known assassin in the underground and this was one of the many rifles he used… I’m just borrowing it for a couple of missions, not that I have to give it back mind you, he’s dead, been apparently, for a few years now. That’s a story for another day, or for never, this isn’t about him… This is about me, and my partner… You’re probably wondering who he is, you are probably already guessing who he is, but in any event, you’ll get to see him a little later. Before I introduce you to him, I have to get a few things to complete him per say… You see, right now, he’s not the man that he used to be… and in order for him to be, that man I once knew, I need to collect three items… Three items that are currently scattered across the US, well one of them, is here, in this town that I am in and I’m just waiting for…
An alarm goes off in the background.
Xavier: That.
He disappears into the darkness and comes back holding a mobile phone. He’s received a text, and in it a single sentence: “They’re coming around the corner now, that geekfest is finally over.” Xavier sits in the stool in front of the sniper rifle, and he grabs it with both arms, props it right and then takes a look through the scope. In the crosshairs he sees the three men he’s been waiting for all night: wrestling nerds, getting out of some wrestlefest convention. He aims at the fat one in the middle with curly hair that would make the fat kid from Bad Santa jealous. But around his neck, attached to a fake, plastic gold chain, he carries a human hand which appears to be very real. Xavier takes a deep breath and then aims at his two companions first, one, two pulls of the triggers and they both get shot right between the eyes… with paintball balls.
Xavier: Told you I’m no murderer.
That must have hurt like a bitch still, because both go down hard, holding their foreheads in pain and blue paint oozing through their fingers. The crowd around them of course don’t know what the hell is going on but fat Curly Sue does. He tries to escape, but he hasn’t taken two steps when he gets pelted with a series of paintballs across his chest that send him stumbling hard against the wall where he holds his chest in pain and then slides down the wall, dropping his ice cream, in slow motion, as if he was gunned down 1950’s mobster style. Xavier chuckles as he goes out the window and down the fire-scape steps. After a few minutes he is standing in front of the fat man, his friends having ran off, leaving him behind. The alley has cleared, and it’s just Xavier and him now. He looks up to Xavier, sobbing, as Xavier squats in front of him, reaches out, causing him to flinch, but all Xavier does is rip what we now realize is a zombie hand, from around his neck.
Xavier: Just because someone throws something at you from inside the ring, it doesn’t mean it belongs to you! You should have returned this to its rightful owner, thief!
Xavier holds up the hand to the fat man’s face and it, on its own, makes a fist but then releases the middle finger, flicking him off. The fat man goes to answer but Xavier just kicks him in the face, knocking him out cold, and then studies the hand.
Xavier: One down, two to go.
The hand gives him a thumb up.
Xavier finds himself on the other side of the world, sitting at a park bench across the national bank of Turkey. It’s daytime, a pleasant 70 degrees, but Xavier dresses in a more casual way so the only attention he draws to himself is that from the pigeons nearby looking for a few crumbs. Xavier doesn’t have anything for them though, as he simply sips on a coffee from a shop not to far from here. He looks at his watch and makes a grunting noise before he begins to shake his leg up and down impatiently.
Xavier: While I wait, let me tell you about the three teams we are going to have to face if we want to walk away from Summer Madness as the new tag team champs: The Show Stealerz, yup, that’s right, the former two-time champs themselves and the only reason why WGWF has a tag division in the first place… Make no mistake about it, Chris can try to sell WGWF as having the best tag division because he is running a 9 team match, but most of these teams won’t stick around unless they win.. But their division does have one ride or die team, the one that carries the WGWF banner and the one that waves this promotion’s flag proudly: The Show Stealerz. Each fed has one… The Malvados in TPW, The Gangsters of Christ in IIW. Here, they are the team to beat in this match, they are damn tough and unfortunately for us, after we beat whoever came before us, they are the team that will come out, looking so fresh and so clean-clean… We need to beat them if we want to win this whole fucking thing. Toddrick and Austin Ramsey are it, man… We beat them, we are home free… Yeah, we might have only beaten one team of note before facing them in this match but beating them will erase any shadow of a doubt that we deserve to call ourselves the new WGWF tag team champions. I have nothing but respect for the Ramseys, and this dates back to before them joining CCPE. Actually, I have a picture of Toddy and me right here, check it out.
He takes out his cellphone, goes to his photos folder, flips through them for a good while until he finds the picture he is looking for and then shows it to the drone filming this whole thing.
Xavier: See? We go back her and I, met over the World Series of Wrestling and became good friends… Now Austin may be, how do I say this without pissing him off, special? Different? His own man… yeah, let’s go with that… The Ramseys are good people, they are wrestling’s darlings and as much as we hate to do it, if we want to go back to being what we were in 2021, one of the greatest tag teams ever, we are going to have to beat The Show Stealerz. It starts and it ends with them. Everyone else in this thing we KNOW we can beat… Them? We know we HAVE to beat them, that is the endgame.
He pauses as he contemplates what he and his partner are going to have to do to not only win the straps but hang on to them until the end of the match. After a few more seconds he snaps back to reality.
Xavier: Now as far as the remaining two teams…
His cellphone goes off again, he takes it out, looks at the message which reads: “He just made a huge withdrawal and has it with him. Go get it!” Xavier looks up, and something catches his eye.
Xavier: Oh, hold that thought.
He finishes his coffee and throws it away in a nearby basket. He then stands up and starts walking a steady pace, following the person who had just come out of the bank: a man wearing a long raincoat and business suit underneath. He carries two briefcases, a silver one, standard, and one that looks more like a cube. Xavier catches up to the man and taps him on the shoulder from behind.
Xavier: Hey man, what you got there?
The man is startled and turns around, and looking Xavier up and down says…
Man: sen kimsin lan
Xavier: Nope, I don’t speak Turkish but I’m pretty sure that’s the wrong answer anyway.
Xavier proceeds to deliver a step-up Enziguri kick to the man, knocking him out. He then proceeds to take both briefcases.
Xavier: I’ll take this one because this doesn’t belong to you so have no rights to be selling it on fucking eBay… It’s a human jaw! You can’t sell that, and it’s not even your jaw! I will take this other one because this my friend’s money and while he has millions to spare, he shouldn’t have to buy his jaw back from your fan-for-profit-ass… Now if I’m correct, there is probably more here than what he paid you for it so let’s call that my cut and call it a day. Cool?
He kicks him hard on his ribs.
Xavier: Cool.
He then takes out a paper bag out of his jacket pocket and empties the content all over the man: bird seeds.
Xavier: Lunch time fellas.
Just then a car pulls up, someone on the inside opens the back passenger side door and Xavier gets in. The door closes behind him and the car pulls away, revealing massive amounts of pigeons all eating on top of the man to the point he’s barely visible.
Back in the good ol’ US of A, in Southern California, at the highest peak for those of you who like to hike: San Gorgonio. It’s around 11AM, but already a balmy 90 degrees. Xavier is looking over the edge of a cliff, looking like he just jumped out of an “American Backpacker” magazine, holding a man upside down by his legs who is wearing oddly enough, a TPW wrestling shirt and black shorts.
Xavier: Now look here, Villano 16, if that’s even your real name… Don’t make me ask you again, my arms are getting very tired…
Villano 16: But I already told you where the foot is! What more do you want?!
Xavier: I want you to tell me why did you take it?!
Villano 16: It’s a wrestler’s foot, a zombie wrestler’s foot! Why wouldn’t I take it?!
Xavier: Because Marcus needs it!
Villano 16: Why?! He’s dead!
Xavier: Oh no you didn’t you Danny Trejo looking son of a bitch! He’s not dead! But you are!
He lets him go and Villano 16 disappears from view, and all we can hear are his screams fading away.
Xavier: Sorry you had to see that…
He takes his cellphone out and reads the message he just received: “He was telling the truth, we found the foot in his TPW locker room. Meet me at the lab ASAP”. He puts his cellphone away and then goes through Villano 16’s hiking stuff, finding a cooler with a couple of cold ones. He takes one out, pops it open and chugs half of it down.
Xavier: Alright, mission complete… It is almost time for you all to meet my partner for the first time, in case you haven’t figure out who he is, or for you to get reacquainted with him… Now if you have been watching another great promotion, TPW, then you know everything that is going on with him… But if you haven’t, and the last you heard of my partner was what we were doing back in GCWA, then suckas, you have missed quite a bit. We broke up, then feuded, then made up… Then I went to IIW, he went to TPW, and well, something weird happened that involves a time machine, walkers, death and a transponder… But you’ll have to do that catching up on your own, for now, let me address the last two teams in the turmoil match… The Pride and The Young Lions… Now I know what you are saying… WHO? I know, isn’t a group of lions called a pride, and if so, does that mean these four are a stable? Nah, probably not… I’m sure the two have nothing to do with each other but I’m also sure that whoever these two teams are, it really doesn’t matter… I know I should give The Young Lions a bit of credit… Remember when they revealed themselves to be behind flowergate? Did the crowd go mild for that or what?! Or was it crickets? In any case, they did beat The Cassette Collective for the sweet number 9 spot in this match… But at the same time, they beat the Cassette Collective! Any of the other 8 teams, including us, DUH, could have beaten those ugly Barbie rejects. They got a free pass, but all they got a free pass to is being the last team that will get pinned by the new, GCWA Tag Team Champions: The Sins of the Fathers! Now as far as The Pride goes…
He takes a deep sigh and rolls his eyes.
Xavier: Look guys, have some ‘pride’ and just forfeit, like, don’t even show up… Seriously… Yeah I get this was an open invite, but just… just don’t okay? Save yourself the embarrassment. I would address you by your name, but you don’t even have a bio up… That’s good, really good, don’t even bother… We all know you aren’t sticking around…. Don’t be like Terry and his pathetic crew, another Sad Erectile X-function.
Behind Xavier we see a hand reach out, followed by another and then Villano 16 pulling himself up, breathing heavily, completely exhausted.
Xavier: I told you I wasn’t a murderer.
At the Legacy labs in Miami, Florida, hometown of Xavier, a man lays in the bed of an operating room, strapped down by his arms and legs. What you noticed right away is that he has a missing hand, a missing foot and ankle and his face is covered by a medical towel though we can see his long, flowing black hair. There is a surgeon, holding a circular device in his hands, and some nurses standing by, ready to operate. Xavier sits in the viewing room, behind a large glass window. Three men in lab coats come in, each carrying items inside large glass jars: a hand, a foot and ankle and a jaw. They place the jars on tables near where the body parts are to be re-attached. There is a lot of metal too, probably not adamantium or vibranium, but still some good, strong metal. The surgeon nods to the 3 assistants, then to the nurses and lasty to Xavier who nods back, but instead of staying, he decides to take his leave, not really wanting to see the operation firsthand after-all.
Xavier comes back to the viewing room, sipping on some coffee, but to his surprise, it looks like a tornado came through the operating room… There is blood splattered everywhere… The glass window has been shattered and the bodies of two of the assistants appear to have been thrown over, into the viewing room. Xavier looks at the operating table, and no one is in it, but it too is splattered in blood like the walls and tables nearby. There are bodies all over the place, and standing in the back, leaning against the wall, looking like a cyborg version of himself, is the man formerly known as “The Prince of Pain”, Marcus Ka’Derrion, munching on an arm… Who’s? Only he knows… He looks up and smiles, waving at Xavier with the arm like Pennywise in the remake of the IT movies… He puts the arm down and says something to Xavier…
Marcus: Arg Arghar! Argha ar arg argh ARGH Arg argh arghar?! Arg argh argha A argha arg?!
But then the metal collar that the doctor was holding in his hands, has been fused to his decaying neck and it lights up, causing a voice that sounds just like Patrick Warburton to come out…
Marcus: Hey Xavier! Ready to win them WGWF Tag team titles?! How many teams I gotta eat?!
Xavier drops his coffee.
Xavier: Um, hey there Marcus… Eight… FOUR, just four actually… beat, not eat…
Marcus gives him the thumbs up.
Marcus: Cool.
Did we mention he goes by Zombie Marcus now?
So this is WGWF… This is the house that Chris Page built, revived and has been running for close to a year and is, without a shadow of a doubt, one of the hottest promotions in the planet today.
He pauses and while we can’t see him do it, we hear a slight chuckle.
Or so he says…
He sits up on the chair.
Or so his roster says…
A roster that has a few people in it that I like to call friends… and if you know who I am, you know I keep less than a fist full of those… But my good friend Cholo, my homie J-Mont, and my Exile brother Peter Vaughn, all say the same thing… This is the place to be…
This is the World’s Greatest Wrestling Federation…
He leans forward, the spotlight hitting him dead on, revealing who he is.
Is it? Well, that is what I, “Venom” Xavier Lux is here to find out!
He stands up and walks forward, standing under the spotlight just long enough for us to get a glimpse of what he is wearing: black jeans which are tucked into the boots, a forest green untucked t-shirt with the acronym: “CCPE” in big bold golden Cain style letters. His head is freshly shaved and oiled, shining brightly, albeit briefly under the light. He stands behind the sniper rifle now, but doesn’t mess with it, instead, just looks out the window at the people walking by…
Xavier: By the time you see this: (a) you would have found out that my partner and I are the mystery team that entered Tag Team Turmoil and hopefully (b) we are already WGWF’s new Tag Team Champions of the World! But we know that winning it won’t be easy dog, and when it comes to a match like this there is only one thing that it really comes down to: luck of the draw. That’s right, much like the West Coast Rumble, it’s all about what number you get but here, in this tag format it means so much more because peeps won’t keep coming out behind ya… Nah, you have to eliminate them and then and only then it is when the next team will come out… Well, I watched the drawing live, and I gotta say, man we got lucky … Luckier than 5 other teams to be specific. That’s right, we drew #6 out of 9 teams and what this means is simply that instead of having to run the table and face off against 8 teams, we only have to worry about half of them. We only got to beat the team that would have had already at least 1 match, if not 4 and after we win, well, then we just need to win 2 more matches… Winning 8 matches is damn near impossible… You hear me Terry Marshall? IMPOSSIBLE! Your old ass drew number 1… First, let me just say: HA-HA! Second, I don’t care who you bring out to try to revive Sad Entertainment X-Press, but it ain’t happening for you old geezers… hell, I’ll be surprised if you make it past The Cassette Collective. By the way, newsflash nerds, it’s 2023, nobody gives a shit about cassettes! Leave that shit in the past and while you at it, leave old ass Terry Marshall and whoever he digs up from the poltergeist cemetery as well. Neither of you are running the table, that’s a guarantee. Now winning 3 matches? My partner and I have done that in the past, and can definitely do it again… and thankfully we don’t have to face teams like The Ultimate Alliance of Violence because let’s “face” it, I’m in CCPE with Bam Miller and Mac Bane and not only are they the Champs here, but I know firsthand how tough both men are. I’ve faced Mac one-on-one and lost. I’ve been in multi-men matches with Bam and I’ve won some, and lost others. They are as tough as they come and their tag team name is the truth… Then you have a team with MY MAIN MAN J-Mont! WHAT UP HOMIE! Him and I were running IIW before it decided to fold, but no need to get into any of that. Any team that has J-Mont as one of its members is already a winner, but as much as I love my boy, he has poor taste in partners… I mean Todd Duke? Yeah I know that’s not how he spells it, but he is a Todd to me. Sonya “Excuse Me While I Puke” Benson? And now, of all people, Atara “I’m only popular because I forced James to marry me” Raven…. Seriously J-Mont, choose your friends better… You got me in Mecca, that was a great decision in your partner… These partners of yours, not so much. Now the last team, the one that comes out right before us, is a team that is completely unknown to me: GPS, The Global Positioning System… You know, what we all use to get around when we are in our cars. Yeah okay, that’s not what GPS stands for but frankly it could stand for God Pucking Satan and it wouldn’t make a damn difference. We don’t know these guys and we don’t have the time to get to know them… The bottom line is that we will face only one of these four, and my money is either on the champs or in J-Mont and that whore of a partner he picked… Not because of her, but because of him. He can carry anyone, no matter how talentless they are… and she is, talentless. Whoever it is though, won’t be at 100%, that is another guarantee… and I don’t care who you are, if you are not 100% and you come up against The Sins of the Fathers, you, are gonna to lose. That is my third guarantee.
The man with venom in his veins takes a pause as he runs his fingers across the sniper rifle, then moves it from left to right slowly, pointing at the people below. Its single purpose likely being: ending someone’s life...
Xavier: I know what this looks like, but I’m not a murderer.
… or not.
Xavier:My father was, however. He was a well-known assassin in the underground and this was one of the many rifles he used… I’m just borrowing it for a couple of missions, not that I have to give it back mind you, he’s dead, been apparently, for a few years now. That’s a story for another day, or for never, this isn’t about him… This is about me, and my partner… You’re probably wondering who he is, you are probably already guessing who he is, but in any event, you’ll get to see him a little later. Before I introduce you to him, I have to get a few things to complete him per say… You see, right now, he’s not the man that he used to be… and in order for him to be, that man I once knew, I need to collect three items… Three items that are currently scattered across the US, well one of them, is here, in this town that I am in and I’m just waiting for…
An alarm goes off in the background.
Xavier: That.
He disappears into the darkness and comes back holding a mobile phone. He’s received a text, and in it a single sentence: “They’re coming around the corner now, that geekfest is finally over.” Xavier sits in the stool in front of the sniper rifle, and he grabs it with both arms, props it right and then takes a look through the scope. In the crosshairs he sees the three men he’s been waiting for all night: wrestling nerds, getting out of some wrestlefest convention. He aims at the fat one in the middle with curly hair that would make the fat kid from Bad Santa jealous. But around his neck, attached to a fake, plastic gold chain, he carries a human hand which appears to be very real. Xavier takes a deep breath and then aims at his two companions first, one, two pulls of the triggers and they both get shot right between the eyes… with paintball balls.
Xavier: Told you I’m no murderer.
That must have hurt like a bitch still, because both go down hard, holding their foreheads in pain and blue paint oozing through their fingers. The crowd around them of course don’t know what the hell is going on but fat Curly Sue does. He tries to escape, but he hasn’t taken two steps when he gets pelted with a series of paintballs across his chest that send him stumbling hard against the wall where he holds his chest in pain and then slides down the wall, dropping his ice cream, in slow motion, as if he was gunned down 1950’s mobster style. Xavier chuckles as he goes out the window and down the fire-scape steps. After a few minutes he is standing in front of the fat man, his friends having ran off, leaving him behind. The alley has cleared, and it’s just Xavier and him now. He looks up to Xavier, sobbing, as Xavier squats in front of him, reaches out, causing him to flinch, but all Xavier does is rip what we now realize is a zombie hand, from around his neck.
Xavier: Just because someone throws something at you from inside the ring, it doesn’t mean it belongs to you! You should have returned this to its rightful owner, thief!
Xavier holds up the hand to the fat man’s face and it, on its own, makes a fist but then releases the middle finger, flicking him off. The fat man goes to answer but Xavier just kicks him in the face, knocking him out cold, and then studies the hand.
Xavier: One down, two to go.
The hand gives him a thumb up.
A few days later…
Xavier finds himself on the other side of the world, sitting at a park bench across the national bank of Turkey. It’s daytime, a pleasant 70 degrees, but Xavier dresses in a more casual way so the only attention he draws to himself is that from the pigeons nearby looking for a few crumbs. Xavier doesn’t have anything for them though, as he simply sips on a coffee from a shop not to far from here. He looks at his watch and makes a grunting noise before he begins to shake his leg up and down impatiently.
Xavier: While I wait, let me tell you about the three teams we are going to have to face if we want to walk away from Summer Madness as the new tag team champs: The Show Stealerz, yup, that’s right, the former two-time champs themselves and the only reason why WGWF has a tag division in the first place… Make no mistake about it, Chris can try to sell WGWF as having the best tag division because he is running a 9 team match, but most of these teams won’t stick around unless they win.. But their division does have one ride or die team, the one that carries the WGWF banner and the one that waves this promotion’s flag proudly: The Show Stealerz. Each fed has one… The Malvados in TPW, The Gangsters of Christ in IIW. Here, they are the team to beat in this match, they are damn tough and unfortunately for us, after we beat whoever came before us, they are the team that will come out, looking so fresh and so clean-clean… We need to beat them if we want to win this whole fucking thing. Toddrick and Austin Ramsey are it, man… We beat them, we are home free… Yeah, we might have only beaten one team of note before facing them in this match but beating them will erase any shadow of a doubt that we deserve to call ourselves the new WGWF tag team champions. I have nothing but respect for the Ramseys, and this dates back to before them joining CCPE. Actually, I have a picture of Toddy and me right here, check it out.
He takes out his cellphone, goes to his photos folder, flips through them for a good while until he finds the picture he is looking for and then shows it to the drone filming this whole thing.
Xavier: See? We go back her and I, met over the World Series of Wrestling and became good friends… Now Austin may be, how do I say this without pissing him off, special? Different? His own man… yeah, let’s go with that… The Ramseys are good people, they are wrestling’s darlings and as much as we hate to do it, if we want to go back to being what we were in 2021, one of the greatest tag teams ever, we are going to have to beat The Show Stealerz. It starts and it ends with them. Everyone else in this thing we KNOW we can beat… Them? We know we HAVE to beat them, that is the endgame.
He pauses as he contemplates what he and his partner are going to have to do to not only win the straps but hang on to them until the end of the match. After a few more seconds he snaps back to reality.
Xavier: Now as far as the remaining two teams…
His cellphone goes off again, he takes it out, looks at the message which reads: “He just made a huge withdrawal and has it with him. Go get it!” Xavier looks up, and something catches his eye.
Xavier: Oh, hold that thought.
He finishes his coffee and throws it away in a nearby basket. He then stands up and starts walking a steady pace, following the person who had just come out of the bank: a man wearing a long raincoat and business suit underneath. He carries two briefcases, a silver one, standard, and one that looks more like a cube. Xavier catches up to the man and taps him on the shoulder from behind.
Xavier: Hey man, what you got there?
The man is startled and turns around, and looking Xavier up and down says…
Man: sen kimsin lan
Xavier: Nope, I don’t speak Turkish but I’m pretty sure that’s the wrong answer anyway.
Xavier proceeds to deliver a step-up Enziguri kick to the man, knocking him out. He then proceeds to take both briefcases.
Xavier: I’ll take this one because this doesn’t belong to you so have no rights to be selling it on fucking eBay… It’s a human jaw! You can’t sell that, and it’s not even your jaw! I will take this other one because this my friend’s money and while he has millions to spare, he shouldn’t have to buy his jaw back from your fan-for-profit-ass… Now if I’m correct, there is probably more here than what he paid you for it so let’s call that my cut and call it a day. Cool?
He kicks him hard on his ribs.
Xavier: Cool.
He then takes out a paper bag out of his jacket pocket and empties the content all over the man: bird seeds.
Xavier: Lunch time fellas.
Just then a car pulls up, someone on the inside opens the back passenger side door and Xavier gets in. The door closes behind him and the car pulls away, revealing massive amounts of pigeons all eating on top of the man to the point he’s barely visible.
A week later.
Back in the good ol’ US of A, in Southern California, at the highest peak for those of you who like to hike: San Gorgonio. It’s around 11AM, but already a balmy 90 degrees. Xavier is looking over the edge of a cliff, looking like he just jumped out of an “American Backpacker” magazine, holding a man upside down by his legs who is wearing oddly enough, a TPW wrestling shirt and black shorts.
Xavier: Now look here, Villano 16, if that’s even your real name… Don’t make me ask you again, my arms are getting very tired…
Villano 16: But I already told you where the foot is! What more do you want?!
Xavier: I want you to tell me why did you take it?!
Villano 16: It’s a wrestler’s foot, a zombie wrestler’s foot! Why wouldn’t I take it?!
Xavier: Because Marcus needs it!
Villano 16: Why?! He’s dead!
Xavier: Oh no you didn’t you Danny Trejo looking son of a bitch! He’s not dead! But you are!
He lets him go and Villano 16 disappears from view, and all we can hear are his screams fading away.
Xavier: Sorry you had to see that…
He takes his cellphone out and reads the message he just received: “He was telling the truth, we found the foot in his TPW locker room. Meet me at the lab ASAP”. He puts his cellphone away and then goes through Villano 16’s hiking stuff, finding a cooler with a couple of cold ones. He takes one out, pops it open and chugs half of it down.
Xavier: Alright, mission complete… It is almost time for you all to meet my partner for the first time, in case you haven’t figure out who he is, or for you to get reacquainted with him… Now if you have been watching another great promotion, TPW, then you know everything that is going on with him… But if you haven’t, and the last you heard of my partner was what we were doing back in GCWA, then suckas, you have missed quite a bit. We broke up, then feuded, then made up… Then I went to IIW, he went to TPW, and well, something weird happened that involves a time machine, walkers, death and a transponder… But you’ll have to do that catching up on your own, for now, let me address the last two teams in the turmoil match… The Pride and The Young Lions… Now I know what you are saying… WHO? I know, isn’t a group of lions called a pride, and if so, does that mean these four are a stable? Nah, probably not… I’m sure the two have nothing to do with each other but I’m also sure that whoever these two teams are, it really doesn’t matter… I know I should give The Young Lions a bit of credit… Remember when they revealed themselves to be behind flowergate? Did the crowd go mild for that or what?! Or was it crickets? In any case, they did beat The Cassette Collective for the sweet number 9 spot in this match… But at the same time, they beat the Cassette Collective! Any of the other 8 teams, including us, DUH, could have beaten those ugly Barbie rejects. They got a free pass, but all they got a free pass to is being the last team that will get pinned by the new, GCWA Tag Team Champions: The Sins of the Fathers! Now as far as The Pride goes…
He takes a deep sigh and rolls his eyes.
Xavier: Look guys, have some ‘pride’ and just forfeit, like, don’t even show up… Seriously… Yeah I get this was an open invite, but just… just don’t okay? Save yourself the embarrassment. I would address you by your name, but you don’t even have a bio up… That’s good, really good, don’t even bother… We all know you aren’t sticking around…. Don’t be like Terry and his pathetic crew, another Sad Erectile X-function.
Behind Xavier we see a hand reach out, followed by another and then Villano 16 pulling himself up, breathing heavily, completely exhausted.
Xavier: I told you I wasn’t a murderer.
At the lab
At the Legacy labs in Miami, Florida, hometown of Xavier, a man lays in the bed of an operating room, strapped down by his arms and legs. What you noticed right away is that he has a missing hand, a missing foot and ankle and his face is covered by a medical towel though we can see his long, flowing black hair. There is a surgeon, holding a circular device in his hands, and some nurses standing by, ready to operate. Xavier sits in the viewing room, behind a large glass window. Three men in lab coats come in, each carrying items inside large glass jars: a hand, a foot and ankle and a jaw. They place the jars on tables near where the body parts are to be re-attached. There is a lot of metal too, probably not adamantium or vibranium, but still some good, strong metal. The surgeon nods to the 3 assistants, then to the nurses and lasty to Xavier who nods back, but instead of staying, he decides to take his leave, not really wanting to see the operation firsthand after-all.
6 and a half hours later…
Xavier comes back to the viewing room, sipping on some coffee, but to his surprise, it looks like a tornado came through the operating room… There is blood splattered everywhere… The glass window has been shattered and the bodies of two of the assistants appear to have been thrown over, into the viewing room. Xavier looks at the operating table, and no one is in it, but it too is splattered in blood like the walls and tables nearby. There are bodies all over the place, and standing in the back, leaning against the wall, looking like a cyborg version of himself, is the man formerly known as “The Prince of Pain”, Marcus Ka’Derrion, munching on an arm… Who’s? Only he knows… He looks up and smiles, waving at Xavier with the arm like Pennywise in the remake of the IT movies… He puts the arm down and says something to Xavier…
Marcus: Arg Arghar! Argha ar arg argh ARGH Arg argh arghar?! Arg argh argha A argha arg?!
But then the metal collar that the doctor was holding in his hands, has been fused to his decaying neck and it lights up, causing a voice that sounds just like Patrick Warburton to come out…
Marcus: Hey Xavier! Ready to win them WGWF Tag team titles?! How many teams I gotta eat?!
Xavier drops his coffee.
Xavier: Um, hey there Marcus… Eight… FOUR, just four actually… beat, not eat…
Marcus gives him the thumbs up.
Marcus: Cool.
Did we mention he goes by Zombie Marcus now?
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