Post by themeccaofmanhood on Jul 31, 2023 15:27:36 GMT -5
Lexi Gold, you are thicker than a snicker. And, I have to admit that you gave me a sickness for the thickness. You could have had your guts torn up like you had extra fries, cause I’m that super size. But I soon realized that behind those eyes are some demons that need exorcised. You could have got some great exercise through sexercise. But instead, my life you tried to jeopardize. So now, you will see where perfection lies. Cause every snake dies.
*The Mecca of Manhood sits upon a throne constructed of bones from his victims of past battles. Gone is skin tight suits and loafers, in their place, are furry boots, and no, they are not Uggs. Instead of Calvin Kliens and custom-tailored pants, is a loin cloth and “trunks” made of fur. He wears gauntlets on his wrist, made of leather from the same beast he took the fir from. His chest is bare, showing why he is the Abdominal Adonis and Pinnacle of Peck-fection. His heart-stopping handsome face looks even more ruggedly lumber-sexual as he wears a 5 o’clock shadow beard. Then upon his head, sitting perfectly on his flowing hair is a crown with the jade snake medallion as the centerpiece. *
Lexi, you’re life could be better than it is right now, and so much better than what it will be after Summer Madness. You could have been the Marilyn Monroe to my John Kennedy, but instead, you’re going to be the John Kennedy to my Lee Harvey Oswaldet. You could have had the Anaconda, but instead, you wanted to play games, and now you get the KING Cobra.
You play stupid games and you win stupid prizes. You play with snakes and you’re bound to get bit. You’ve been playing stupid mind games for months now Lexi, but at Summer Madness it isn’t a mental game we will play, it is a physical game. We won’t be playing Chess, we are playing Mortal Kombat. Wouldn’t it have just been a lot more fun to play naked Twister? That time has passed though, you had your shot and you missed it. But at Summer Madness, I won’t miss my shot
Your mind games, your house of mirrors, your tricks, your witchcraft, your simp, your OnlyFan subscribers, the dude who buys your used socks… NOTHING! AND NO ONE will stop me from tossing your plastic ass up into the air and throwing you down with Simply Marvelous. Only this time I won’t be trying to slam your “body by bulimia” through the mat. No, this time I’ll be throwing you into that pit and using your silicone sack to smash as many of those snakes as possible. Of course, your body is more plastic than flesh so you might just bounce right out of that pit.
Bounce back… that is what I was supposed to do after Cholo, but instead, I got sucked in by a succubus. We aren’t the main goal for me Lexi, you are just a side gig like you knew you were just gonna be my side piece. I should be fighting for a championship at Summer Madness, instead of fighting some ran-through scorned skank. I get it, you are upset because you knew I only wanted you for one night, while you wanted a long-term relationship. Well Lexi, you've drug this out long enough and it’s time for us to split up.
Call it a snake pit match, but in reality, it is our divorce proceedings. I just wanted you to take it all for a night, but you wanted to take it all over a lifetime. You aren’t wifey material Lexi, you are just a one-night stand, with a wham, bam, thank ya, mam. But you clung to me as long as you could, and now at Summer Madness, it is wham, bam, end ya career mam.
This is our last tango, Lexi, and you’ll realize the horizontal mambo was the dance we should have had. I’m winning and moving onto new heights and the spotlights. You’ll go back to wallowing in obscurity and finding some simp to tease, while I’ll be courting for the gold because that is where I belong and who I am… SIMPLY MARVELOUS!!!
*A voice is heard screaming “ACTION!”, and Mason The Barbarian stands from his throne. As the Bod God steps from the elevated platform the throne sits on we watch as he transitions from The Mecca of Manhood to Mason The Barbarian. As Mason The Barbarian steps down the final step he fades into darkness.
Mason The Barbarian reemerges inside Emperor Doom's castle, where the air hung heavy with the scent of blood and anguish. Mason The Barbarian moved silently through dimly lit corridors. He had gained entry to the castle through the presentation of the Jade snake medallion but knew he would be easily recognized as an outsider by the normal inhabitants of the Doom Kingdom.
Mason The Barbarian made his way to the only room on the top floor of the corner of the castle. Utilizing his dagger, Mason The Barbarian was able to slide the thin blade through the door frame and unlock the wooden door. Mason opened the door with extra care so as not to disturb the slumber of Emporer Thulsa Doom. Mason then slithered into the room like the serpents the citizens of Doom worshipped.
Mason The Barbarian laid eyes on the sleeping Thulsa Doom for the first time since the day he had slaughtered the adults of his village, including his mother and his father. Upon seeing Thulsa, Mason places his dagger back into the sheath. This assassination would not be quick, it would be brutal and personal.
Mason slowly mounted the sleeping Thulsa. Mason wrapped his powerful hands around the throat of Thulsa, which brought Thulsa’s eyelids flying open. The strength of Mason’s grip quickly crushed the windpipe and silenced the vocal cords of Thulsa. Thulsa tried fighting off the massive barbarian, but his resistance was futile. As the last strains of life flowed from Thulsa’s body Mason leaned into his ear and said, “for Curm, for Emersyn, my mother”.
As Thulsa’s eyes rolled back into his head, Mason released his throat and stood from the bed. Mason pulled his battle-axe from under his black robe and with a single blow separated Thulsa’s head from his body. The axe was placed back under the robe, and the head was placed into a bag.
Mason The Barbarian had taken what he came for, but now he faced the consequences of his actions. Mason had not even made it back to the courtyard before alarms began to ring out. Mason quickly sought refuge within the dark bowels of the imposing structure. As Mason hid in the shadows, he could feel a sense of impending danger. The castle seemed alive with ominous energy, and his instincts told him he was not alone. Just as he braced for an attack, a menacing hiss echoed through the corridors, sending shivers down his spine. Out of the shadows, a colossal, 50-foot snake slithered towards him with relentless malice gleaming in its eyes.
Mason knew he couldn't outrun or evade the massive serpent, this was its home, its lair. Mason would never choose flight, he would always choose fight. Mason threw off his robe and grasped his trusty battle axe, its handle worn from years of battle. Mason readied himself for the imminent clash. The snake lunged at him, fangs bared and venom dripping from its gaping maw. Mason's reflexes were honed from countless encounters, and he managed to evade the venomous bite just in time.
With brute strength and unmatched skill, Mason swung his battle axe with precision, aiming to sever the serpent's head. Blow after blow, he fought valiantly, each strike resonating with the determination to survive. The battle was fierce, the serpent's relentless assault testing the limits of Mason's endurance.
Finally, with a resounding swing, Mason delivered a fatal blow, severing the snake's head from its body. Yet, as the serpent's massive form collapsed to the ground, an unexpected transformation occurred. The lifeless body of the snake contorted and twisted, reshaping itself into a humanoid figure clad in a shimmering, silicone-like material.
The figure that emerged bore the name of Witch Xeli Dolg, an enigmatic sorceress known for her ability to manipulate forms and deceive her enemies. Her appearance was otherworldly, her silicone-like body shifting and rippling as if it were a mirage. Her eyes, pools of swirling colors, locked onto Mason with an intensity that sent a chill down his spine.
"You have slain the snake, Mason The Barbarian," Xeli Dolg's voice echoed, its tone both alluring and haunting. "But you have merely encountered one facet of my being."
Mason braced himself, knowing that this witch's true abilities were far from ordinary. He tightened his grip on his battle-axe, ready to face whatever malevolent force she would unleash upon him. A harrowing sound of hundreds of hisses rang throughout the corridors of the kingdom. With an ethereal flourish, Xeli Dolg conjured dark energies, summoning illusions and weaving a tapestry of deception around Mason. Shadows danced around him, attempting to ensnare his senses. But Mason's resolve was unyielding, and he fought through the illusions, driven by the memory of
Emperor Doom's tyranny and the vow he made to bring justice to the oppressed.
With a mighty roar, Mason lunged forward, his battle axe cleaving through the illusions and striking Xeli Dolg's silicone-like form. As the blade made contact, the witch's body shattered, revealing a core of dark energy that dissipated into the ether. Mason had defeated the witch's illusions and uncovered her true form, severing her deceptive powers once and for all.
Mason lifted his battle axe once more, and with another mighty blow took the witch's head. Xeli Dolg’s head would join that of Thulsa Dooms in the bag, and then Mason would start the long climb out of the bowls of the kingdom. Exhausted from combat, Mason The Barbarian would emerge from the entrance to the aqueduct only to be met with an army of Doom soldiers.
For this battle, Mason would not need his battle axe. Mason The Barbarian dropped the bag from his shoulder and kicked the flap open with his boot. Mason would retrieve a head with each hand and then lift them high into the air.
The soldiers of Doom would fall to their knees at the sight of Mason The Barbarian having conquered their master and his witch. Upon the backs of those soldiers, Mason would rise to the throne and become the most powerful force in all mankind. The shot would fade from Mason The Barbarian holding the severed heads of his enemies above his head to the Mecca of Manhood sitting upon the throne.
Gone is the garb of the barbarian. The stubble no longer hides the perfect jaw line and bone structure of the Big Natty Daddy. The Bod God sits in his custom suit as he stares out upon the baron wasteland of WGWF, his kingdom conquered.*