1-29-23 Sunday Night DARK
Jan 30, 2023 9:29:52 GMT -5
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Post by Buster Gloves on Jan 30, 2023 9:29:52 GMT -5
1.29.23
Ring Rust Cafe & Studio @ The Velvet Rabbit Las Vegas
&
Play-by-Play Color Commentary
SAUCE BOSS: Hello everybody, welcome BACK for another episode of WGWF Dark. I'm the Sauce Boss, and welcome back to the Ring Rust Cafe, here inside the beautiful Velvet Rabbit Hotel and Casino in LAS Vegas. Tonight’s broadcast comes to you on ESPN The Ocho, brought to you by THIS IS AWESOME PROMOTIONS, Kayfabe Airlines, and our good friends at the Baseball Commission of North America (BCNA). We have some great matches, segments, and extra content on the menu tonight. This ain’t the B show folks. This is the side show.
To the hundreds in attendance, and the hundreds of thousands at home, thank you for tuning in tonight to another episode of WGWF DARK.
Before we get started let’s take a look at what went down last time on BRAWL.
(A video package rolls of WGWF action from the most recent episode of WGWF’s flagship show.)
SAUCE BOSS: In our opening bout, the team of Mac Bane and Tristan Slater took on CCPE mainstays Fred Debonair and Mark Flynn. Mac Bane made the pin on Fred Debonair in the end while Mark Flynn was delivering some steel justice to Tristan Slater. This feud has legs folks. Expect more soon.
Next up, Bam Miller took on Buster Gloves in an Intercontinental Championship opening round match. In what may be the most brutal match since the reboot, A bloodied Buster Gloves was able to finish Bam Miller off with a guillotine choke while taking massive amounts of damage to the head and body. Bam Miller proving that he’s one of the toughest on the roster and Buster Gloves proving that technique can win over raw ability. What a match.
Sonya Benson defended the WGWF Television Title in a Mid-Card attraction against challenger Addison Andrews. Andrews, riding on the heels of a win over Atara Raven, was able to get by Sonya and her two henchmen. Benson retains via countout victory.
Ace Sky and Samantha Voxx faced each other next in what was supposed to be a First Blood match but was switched at the last minute to a standard rules match. Samantha Voxx, with two x’s, picked up a decisive submission victory in this one, showing just how good she can be when she’s at her best.
In the main event, Paul Montuori met Finn Kuhn in another Intercontinental First Round match. Despite having match graphics displaying his brother Joe Montuori, Paul Montuori picked up the victory in a wild main event, but Paul’s wife Michelle Riggs was the deciding factor in this one. Finn had locked in a deep armbar, but Michelle Riggs stepped in to illegally break up the pin in front of the referee. For some reason, the referee let the match continue without calling for the disqualification and Montuori took the pin after a curb stomp. A bad ending to a great match, but Pauley Too Dope has revealed his cards. It’ll be interesting if he can continue pulling off the same tricks with referees that actually want to keep their job.
And now we continue on the road to WRESTLE WARS.
But before that, It’s time to turn the lights down low and get ready for some Sunday Night Dark.
I would be remiss of course to do the show without my partner in crime. You know her as The Soda Pop Pearl Crusher. The Queen of Bong Style. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, BACK to the announcers’ table, Miss… Cherry… Cola.
CHERRY COLA: Saucey. I got a fever and there’s only one cure. Guess what it is.
SAUCE BOSS: Penicillin?
CHERRY COLA: You wish. I just renewed my license at the DMV and I’m in need of some legalized violence. That thought of watching two people bleed buckets for my entertainment is making my whisker biscuit soggy. Please tell me you can grant me this one wish, Sauce Daddy.
SAUCE BOSS: It would be a pleasure and an honor to accommodate your request. On the card tonight we have the most extreme match ever to happen at the Ring Rust Cafe. We have “King of the Mid-carders” Mark Flynn versus “The Bull of the North” Buster Gloves in a $3 Staple Gun match. First man to obtain 3 dollar bills from the room and staple them to his opponent is the winner. There will be blood.
CHERRY COLA: Blood for the blood god. Let’s f*cking go!
SAUCE BOSS: I concur. It would be a pleasure and an honor to share this experience with you. So… the people paid for a show, let’s go down to the ring with our very own Cookie Carter for our first match.
We cut to ringside where the lovely beauty queen/ring announcer/Spanish commentator, Cookie Carter is waiting in the center of the ring in a stunning black and gold cutout dress.
Ring Announcer
COOKIE CARTER: Ring Rust Cafe… the darkest hour is upon us. Are you ready for the first bout of the evening?
[MUSIC AND AUDIENCE REACTION]
The lights in the arena dim. The scene shifts to a pan of the adoring fans cheering the action they’ve seen already.
Uh oh, what’s this now? “Beethoven’s 5th Symphony” kicks into gear and they murmur among themselves because who could this possibly be?
CHERRY COLA: Imma go take a power nap. This music is putting me to sleep. Who’s song is this? I’ve never heard it before?
SAUCE BOSS: We have a debut tonight! It’s one of the WGWF’s newest hires. He’s..well..you’ll see.
A man appears on stage wearing a blue and green wrestling singlet with matching boots and pads. His long blond hair is pulled back into a ponytail and his face is as clean shaven as one can get. This gentleman exudes an aura of professionalism as he heads toward the ring engaging with curious fans. The spectators give a small measure of cheer and applaud the simple act of acknowledgment from him. He’s passing the vibe test.
His music stops when he gets into the ring and is handed a special handsfree headset that acts as a house mic. The man waves and bows at the fans then speaks.
PROFESSOR WRESTLING: Hello class, I’m Professor Wrestling. I’ve been hired by WGWF to provide lectures and teaching to roster members and fans alike. Tonight is the first lecture and I know you fine folks in the seats and viewing on TV don’t like long drawn out spiels, so let us get this learning under way. I hear my first subject matter is a young gentleman by the name of Milk Mayson?
On cue, “Hero” by Enrique Iglesias begins to play over the PA and the crowd goes silent as a spotlight shines on the entrance way revealing the Delicious One. His back is to the crowd, and his arms are spread out wide revealing the rhinestones words "Simply Delicious" on the back of the robe. Milk Mayson’s showboats to the ring in his fancy robe.
COOKIE CARTER: And making his way to the ring, from Cedar Rapids, Iowa, weighing 140 lbs, he is “The Delicious One”... Delicious… Milk… Mason!!!
Professor Wrestling is respectful of the entrance the entire way, and even applauds him when he does some poses to the female fans. After all of that is done, the bell rings to start the match.
DING! DING! DING!
Milk Mayson gets in a wrestling stance, ready to go. Professor Wrestling shakes his head.
PROFESSOR WRESTLING: Okay, there’s several things you’re doing wrong right off the bat, Mr. Mayson. Firstly, you’re too small. You look like you just stepped out of an Auschwitz concentration camp. You can remedy this by partaking in protein powders and gym time. Secondly, you’re wearing glasses. Big no no. These can be exploited. LIke so.
Professor Wrestling punches the shit out of him right in the glasses, sending Milk rocketing back and the glasses flying off. As if that isn’t bad enough, Professor Wrestling stomps on the glasses, destroying them.
PROFESSOR WRESTLING: If you can’t see, you can’t fight.
He’s right. Milk gets up holding his eyes with one hand to ease the hurt in them, and swings wildly at air with the free hand.
PROFESSOR WRESTLING: If you can’t fight because you can’t see, you leave yourself open to maneuvers that an opponent has practiced to perfection. Like my Pop Quiz, which you’re about to fail.
He casually walks up behind the wildly one fist swinging Delicious One and delivers simply the most athletic and picture perfect standing Dropkick you’ve ever seen. Mayson hits the canvas like a sack of potatoes.
PROFESSOR WRESTLING: By show of hands, class, who can tell me what this predicament leads to now?
Some fans at ringside actually do raise their hands and he points to one.
FAN: FINISHER!!!!!!!!
Professor Wrestling nods proudly.
PROFESSOR WRESTLING: Great answer! Mr. Mayson here is about to enter a Semester from Hell.
Professor Wrestling leisurely locks Mayson into the most technically perfect and excruciating Arm Trap Crossface. Obviously Milk Mayson taps out quickly and the good Professor releases immediately. He even checks on him to see if he’s okay afterward and not injured.
DING! DING! DING!
COOKIE CARTER: Here is your winner, by way of pinfall, Professor Wrestling!!!
Professor Wrestler sees Mayson out of the ring, he turns to the crowd.
PROFESSOR WRESTLING: This concludes today’s lesson. Today we learned a competitor must show up in height and weight proportion befitting a professional wrestler and to not handicap themselves by wearing glasses. Had Mr. Mayson spent the last year in a gym and on a protein diet, and also invested in contact lenses or lasik surgery, he would have stood a chance. He may have been able to defeat me. Who knows? There will be no homework assignment today, class. I’ll see you back here in two weeks for my next lecture. Until then be good, be great, just be yourselves.
He bows and waves to a mixed reaction before exiting the ring and handing out a few flyers to fans, promoting his online courses.
CHERRY COLA: Okay, this guy is legit. I don’t have to do any commentary during his matches. Nap time confirmed, every time he comes out.
SAUCE BOSS: I think we still have to do our jobs despite his live lectures. I will admit that hHe seems interesting and knowledgeable. And I respect that. Never stop being a student of this game.
CHERRY COLA: You such a f*cking nerd sometimes, Saucey. You need to get laid.
The Professor exits the ring, holding his arms in the air and taunting the crowd as they boo him. He poses for photos with fans as we cut to a segment.
WINNER (via pinfall): Professor Wrestling
Match Length: 3 minutes 32 seconds
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We fade to the sandy white beaches of South Beach in Miami, Florida. The waves crash down upon the shores, a light breeze in the air as we find THE Tristan Slater on the shoreline looking out across the endless ocean horizon.
THE TRISTAN SLATER: This is peaceful.
He states before kneeling and taking a handful of wet sand.
THE TRISTAN SLATER: It doesn’t matter what is happening around the world. The one place where I find my serenity is on the beach at sunset.
Tristan tosses the sand into the salt water as waves run over his bare feet. Tristan rises to a vertical base and turns where he directs his attention toward the camera through the black lens of his shades.
THE TRISTAN SLATER: Over the last several months I’ve found myself in a position I wasn’t intending. When the WGWF relaunched I was offered a spot, but I refused. I refused not because I didn’t want to compete but because I conquered the WGWF back in its heyday and didn’t have anything to prove.
Tristan slides his hands into the pocket of his beige shorts.
THE TRISTAN SLATER: I stood beside John Cable because I respect the man and appreciate what he stands for. He was there for me when I was in a dark place, he helped me through several life challenges. At the West Coast Rumble, I paid that back by sacrificing myself for John in the hopes that he can find the Championship he craves more than life itself. A small price to pay, if you ask me.
Tristan states as he takes several steps away from the shoreline toward the camera.
THE TRISTAN SLATER: I had no intentions of being in the Rumble let alone standing before all of you today; but I was brought into this by Fred Debonair, Peter Vaughn, and Mark Flynn on that fateful November Night they thought it would be a fantastic idea to break my wrist.
Tristan removes his left hand from his pocket and removes his shades. Off in the distance, the sun is slowly starting to set.
THE TRISTAN SLATER: I know that over the last five years, I haven’t been a household name, I made my career the seven years prior, and I’ve always been content with the level of success I’ve attained. Multiple-time XWF World Champion, multiple-time WGWF World Champion, multiple-time Tag Team Champion, and all secondary titles in between. And throughout my career, I’ve tasted triumphs and been rocked with tragedies; both professional, and personal.
There is a pause from THE Tristan Slater as he lets out a deep breath.
THE TRISTAN SLATER: If breaking my arm wasn’t enough for Mark he thought exposing steroid abuse from ELEVEN YEARS ago was somehow groundbreaking news, but what he failed to understand is that I’ve owned my past and I’m okay with it because anything I’ve done in the WGWF was without performance enhancements… that includes my title reigns but we’ve never heard an explanation on how you went from a 600-pound black guy to a 215-pound white dwarf.
A smirk appears on the right corner of THE Tristan Slater’s face.
THE TRISTAN SLATER: Or how I’ve DOMINATED Flynn every time we’ve been in the ring with each other when a briefcase isn’t involved, but hey bud, spin that narrative however you feel like you need to because honestly, I’m tired of playing the games. I’m through with the tag matches, I’m done dealing with other people when the truth is I’m focused on one.
The sun creeps lower off on the horizon.
THE TRISTAN SLATER: We’ve fought all over CCPE Arena, we’ve fought on the Las Vegas strip, you broke my wrist, and I cost you the World Title. Let’s stop flirting with each other, Mark. Let’s go ahead and make this official, whattaya say, hmm? Sunday Night, March 27th, Allegiant Stadium, Las Vegas, Nevada at the biggest spectacle of the year, WrestleWars 8.
THE Tristan Slater turns around facing the sun as it’s fading beyond the seas.
THE TRISTAN SLATER: You claim to be the best wrestler in the world?
He pauses.
THE TRISTAN SLATER: Prove it.
The scene fades.
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She’s about to meet with the person who had signed her to the deal, Mr. Mark James, Pepsi’s Senior Marketing Manager. She arrives at the Pepsi headquarters in Purchase, New York is greeted by a friendly receptionist who directs her to Mr. James’ office.
Emily walks into the office and is immediately struck by the size of the room. The walls are covered with posters of various Pepsi products and the shelves are lined with memorabilia. Mr. James stands up from his desk and walks over to greet her.
“Welcome, Emily, it’s great to finally meet you in person,” Mr. James says as he extends his hand for a shake. “I’ve been a big fan of your work for a long time now and I’m so glad we could make this happen.”
Emily is flattered and thanks Mr. James for the opportunity.
“So, let’s get down to business,” Mr. James says as he walks back to his desk and gestures for Emily to sit down. “As our sponsored athlete, it’s important that you represent our brand in the best possible light. That means always being professional, always putting your best foot forward, and always representing Pepsi in a positive way.”
Emily listens intently. She bats her eyes and him, unable to control her smile. And just nods in agreement to every word.
“I want you to know that we take this sponsorship very seriously,” Mr. James said. “We want you to be the face of our brand, and that means being a role model to the wrestling community and beyond.”
Emily is humbled by the responsibility. “I promised to do my best to represent Pepsi in the best possible light.”
“Great, we will be sending you some details about some appearances we have lined up for you. We want you interacting with fans and promoting Pepsi products. There are a few charity events, where you can help to raise money for local communities. It’ll require a bit of travel, it may interfere with some of your wrestling matches, so I hope your schedule is flexible. We’ve already been in contact with the WGWF to lighten your work load until you get acclimated. Our most exciting project is the launch of a few new products. We think your brand will help to really move some inventory.”
“That actually sounds amazing. I can’t wait to get started.”
“There will be some interviews, some visits to stores, a few major sporting events, photos shoots, that sort of thing. Just don’t go getting any new tattoos or hair cuts before then. We love you the way you are. Don’t change a thing.”
“Oh, of course not. I’ll just keep being me. I can do that.”
Mr. James gives her one final command. “Great. Now get out there and win some wrestling matches!”
FROM
The World Series of Wrestling Returns
This October…
Check out the TIA Forums for tons of great EFED content including
graphics, articles, and roleplays from the original World Series of Wrestling.
graphics, articles, and roleplays from the original World Series of Wrestling.
MILK MAYSON: It is me. The only and only pint-sized powerhouse, The Delicious One. My name is Milk Mayson and I am here!
Now, I know what you're thinking, "Hey Milk, you lost to Professor Wrestling, how could you possibly be talking about success?" Well, my friends, I'm here to tell you that I learned more in that loss than I ever could have in a win.
You see, the Professor showed me that size doesn't matter, it's all about strategy and heart. And let me tell you, my heart is bigger than any wrestler in this ring.
But don't get it twisted, I'm not giving up. My day for success is coming, and when it does, it'll be sweeter than a glass of fresh milk. I've got the moves, I've got the drive, and I've got the hunger to take this industry by storm.
So, Professor Wrestling, if you're listening, I challenge you to a rematch. And this time, I'll be the one schooling you on what it takes to be a wrestling master.
Cause when I'm done, you won't just be calling me a winner, you’ll be calling me… Delicious.
The year of the Super-Show continues…
vs
COOKIE CARTER: Ladies and Gentlemen our Main Event of the night is set for a sixty-minute time limit. This is a… THREE DOLLAR STAPLE GUN MATCH!!! The winner of this match will be the first man to staple three ONE DOLLAR BILLS to their opponent.
The room goes wild. Cookie Carter smiles bright. The lights go out.
The sounds of music and a snorting bull fill the arena as smoke rises from the stage. The lights return and Buster Gloves emerges from the fog as the words "BUSTER GLOVES" play on the tron. "Burn", as played by Stabbing Westward, plays as blue and white lasers bounce around the room.
Buster is debuting a black t-shirt with the gold logo of his brand new faction called SAGA. Faction members Theo Pryce, Raion Kido, Jason Cashe, Ned Kaye, and Thaddeus Duke. ( XWF Presents: Snow Job White Out (xwf99.com) )
Buster scans the audience. Stoic, bald and unshaven. He is... the Bull of the North. He checks his chin, by giving it two short punches with a black padded glove on his left hand. The letters W.I.F.E. (Wrestling is Forever) printed on the backside of it.
Buster descends the ramp fist bumping fans, pointing to the cheap seats up top, and bouncing his head to the music. He crawls up the ring steps like a silverback gorilla, wipes his shoes on the apron and ducks in under the top rope into the ring. Then side hops a circle around the ring logo before coming back to center. He checks his chin one more time as he poses for the hard cam.
COOKIE CARTER: First, already in the ring, from Las Vegas, Nevada, weighing 245 lbs, he is… ‘The Bull of the North’... BUSTER… GLOVES…
SAUCE BOSS: Buster Gloves makes his first appearance on DARK tonight. A great friend of mine, endorsed by THIS IS AWESOME PROMOTIONS. He has his hands full tonight, going against a world champion in a match not for the faint of heart.
CHERRY COLA: So, I’m not saying I don’t, but let’s pretend like I don’t know anything about this guy. What should I know?
SAUCE BOSS: He’s been on a win streak. He’s still a strong candidate for the WGWF Intercontinental Title. And he’s dating Emily Simms.
CHERRY COLA: Never heard of her.
SAUCE BOSS: ‘Flippy Bitch’.
CHERRY COLA: OH! No shit?! I love ‘Flippy Bitch.’ She has nice hair.
Mark Flynn emerges from the curtain, wearing a dazzling blue robe. Across the back, it says "King of the Midcarders". The XWF Universal Champion has no expression and makes no eye contact with his opponent.
COOKIE CARTER: And his opponent, making his way towards the ring, from Battle Creek, Michigan, weighing 210 lbs, he is… the King of the Mid-Carders… Mark… Flynn.
SAUCE BOSS: And here one of the most talented wrestlers in the world. A real treat for this Ring Rust Cafe. Mark Flynn is a wrestling god amongst men.
CHERRY COLA: He looks homeless.
SAUCE BOSS: Don’t judge a book by its cover Cher’. He’s a generational talent.
CHERRY COLA: I bet he has a dope shopping cart.
DING! DING! DING!
The crowd at the Ring Rust Cafe is electric as Buster Gloves and Mark Flynn face off in the center of the ring. Buster Gloves is a towering presence, with muscles bulging from every inch of his body. Mark Flynn, on the other hand, is smaller and leaner, but his confidence and quick wit are on full display as he trash talks Buster Gloves right at the onset.
Gloves offers a code of honor handshake to Flynn, but Flynn only returns a snarl.
They root themselves to the center of the ring, sizing each other up. Buster points at his chest and invites Mark to deliver a chop. Mark tries to hold back a smile. Buster folds his hands behind his back and lifts his chin. The crowd hushes. Suddenly, Mark Flynn charges forward and lands a massive chop that echoes throughout the room, directly to Buster's chest, causing him to stumble back.
Flynn’s smile grows and he invites Buster to return a chop. He too folds his hands behind his back. Buster looks to the crowd for encouragement, then winds back and delivers a chop that would cut down a tree. Flynn winces and his knees flex a inch or two.
Mark is quick to recover and retaliates with a series of lightning-fast chops to Buster, really laying the wood to him. But Buster blocks, and counters with a flurry of his own chops. The room is energized as the two warriors look to soften eachother up before any staple guns get involved in the match.
The two wrestlers trade chops back and forth, each one trying to gain the advantage. The crowd cheers with every exchange, their excitement growing as the match progresses. Buster lands a particularly brutal chop that sends Mark Flynn reeling. But the cunning grappling is not one to be underestimated, and he quickly retaliates with a kick to the groin that drops Gloves like a sack of potatoes.
SAUCE BOSS: Yambag yahtzee. The universal language. Gotta love it in a match with only one rule.
CHERRY COLA: He got kooked in the dook! Seriously, that never stops being funny.
Mark Flynn celebrates the small victory and retreats to his corner to grab the velvet bag tied to it. Buster rolls to his knees and starts to panic. As Flynn reaches deep into the bag, Buster crawls to his corner to grab his own. Flynn’s too fast though. By the time Buster unties his bag, Flynn is already on top of him, pulling a damp five dollar bill out of his trunks and stapling it to the back of Buster Gloves. The crowd erupts in hostility.
Buster thrashes and rolls under the bottom rope to the floor as the referee checks on him. Flynn paces the ring declaring himself the winner before the referee informs him that three one dollar bills have to be attached. Flynn argues that he did staple $3 to his opponent, plus a $2 tip. The crowd erupts with laughter.
SAUCE BOSS: You see, this is why it pays to pay attention to the rules.
CHERRY COLA: What rules? You said there were no rules.
SAUCE BOSS: I said there was one rule. Staple $3 to your opponent. No more, no less.
CHERRY COLA: You’re just making this sh*t up as you go Saucey! You carney piece of sh*t.
SAUCE BOSS: Ouch. That one stings a little.
CHERRY COLA: So does my waffle when I take a leak but atleast I’m not changing rules as we go along. I hope Flynn staples Mr. Flippy Bitch’s balls to a picnic table.
Buster Gloves, is not amused. He drapes himself over the protective rail and solicits the audience members for dollar bills. They oblige and Buster grasps one before Mark Flynn comes flying in with a flying knee. Flynn pistol whips Buster with his staple gun before stapling him again.
“One!” Staple. “Two!” Staple. “Three” Staple. And Buster is back on the defensive. Flynn demands a dollar from the troglodytes in the front row. But they say no. Buster crawls back into the ring to finally retrieve his staple gun while Flynn haggles with the audience.
Buster Gloves retrieves his staple gun and the crowd cheers. Mark Flynn steals a purse and the crowd boos. Flynn dumps the contents of the purse on the floor and digs through the make-up and spare change to find a single dollar bill. He takes to the ring and the two men rise to their feet. Each now with a staple gun in one hand and a dollar bill in the other. They square up for a second time.
The two wrestlers continue to trade blows, each one determined to come out on top. They're both relentless, each chop harder and more intense than the last. But the humor and lightheartedness of the situation doesn't go unnoticed, and the fans are loving every moment of it. It's clear that this is going to be a brutal, no-holds-barred match, with a healthy dose of comedy thrown in for good measure.
The two circle each other, staple guns pointed forward. Flynn attempts to put another one in Buster, but is countered by a head and elbow lock up and a judo flip that puts Flynn on his back and staple guns on the mat.
Buster traps Flynn in a reverse arm triangle. It's tight and Flynn can’t escape! Buster drops 12 to 6 elbows to the top of Flynn’s skull, making him cover up. Then reaches for the staple gun and pulls the dollar bill from his waistband. Flynn tries to defend the attack, but Buster staples the bill to the shoulder of Mark Flynn.
1-0 Buster
SAUCE BOSS: That’s one to none in favor of Buster Gloves. I thought he may have bitten off way more than he could chew when he challenged Mark Flynn to this match, but the man can hold his own. This is an even match.
CHERRY COLA: Here’s an even match, my devil’s onion ring and your dirty whore mouth.
SAUCE BOSS: Jesus Cherry. What did I do to you?!
CHERRY COLA: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID DURING THE COMMERCIAL BREAK!!! I won’t sit here and pretend like it didn’t happen. And I’m not ok with it.
Buster releases the hold and stands up to celebrate the early lead. But Mark is undeterred and seizes the opportunity to deliver some offense of his own.
Knee lift.
Neck breaker.
Stomps.
DDT.
And Buster is gassed.
Flynn steps on his chest, slaps the purse dollar on his face and staples it right on his forehead.
Tied up 1-1.
SAUCE BOSS: Ouch. That’s gotta hurt.
CHERRY COLA: You know what hurts? My heart Saucey. You broke my heart.
SAUCE BOSS: Seriously. I don’t know.
CHERRY COLA: You ate my last mozzarella stick while I was dropping a deuce. You monster! You know how much I love cheese!
SAUCE BOSS: Achtually… I didn’t. But I AM SORRY. If I had known you’d act like this, I would have just ordered my own.
CHERRY COLA: Yeh. You do that next time. Do better. Learn from this and do better.
Flynn hops down from the ring apron and approaches the ring announcer table.
CHERRY COLA: Oh sh*t. The cops!!!
Cherry dives under the table leaving Sauce Boss alone.
MARK FLYNN: Give me your money you dork!
SAUCE BOSS: Achtually… I don’t carry around physical cash. I can Venmo it.
MARK FLYNN: I can’t staple a phone to his chest you idiot! Cherry! Get your little ass out here!
CHERRY COLA: No, thank you…
Flynn goes into a rage and kind of acts like an asshole about it scattering papers and equipment everywhere. Buster Gloves makes the save with a Sparta Kick launching Flynn out of the frame. The crowd cheers, but Cherry Cola doesn’t emerge from under the table.
Flynn gets a wicked idea and runs to the bar at the Ring Rust Cafe. Wild eyed and money hungry, he pushes fans out of the way and marches towards the tip jar. The bartender staggers backwards as Flynn grabs a hold of the tip jar and turns around to boast about his brilliance. But Buster Gloves is right on top of him. He clinches, but Flynn refuses to drop the jar. Then a knee to the face of Flynn. And another. And another. It’s a Richmond Knee Party!!!
The glass tip jar hits the floor and shatters, sending shards and crinkled up bills flying. The crowd cheers is almost throwing dollar bills at Buster Gloves now. Trying to help out the good guy. He takes one from a woman in a ‘Milky Milky’ t-shirt And goes to staple his second dollar to Flynn, but the King of the Mid-Carders scoops up a bloody hand full of glass and bills and chucks it in Buster’s face. Buster takes it to the face, which already had been bloodied from the earlier staple gun attack. He covers his eyes. One of which was almost blinded by The Punisher several weeks ago. Flynn grabs a dollar and staples it to exposed chest of Buster Gloves.
2-1 Advantage Flynn.
SAUCE BOSS: So, uhhh… Flynn staples a buck. Cherry you want to come back up and watch with the rest of us?
CHERRY COLA: No thank you. I’ve been sitting here staring at your crotch for the last few minutes and not getting robbed by homeless maniacs. How about a mouth hug while I’m down here?
SAUCE BOSS: Cut the crap and do your job, Cherryl!!! Chris Page is looking to cut dead weight and you don’t want to be on the chopping block.
CHERRY COLA: Oh, fine. But you’re no fun. Have you seen J Mont recently?
Rather than searching the floor for another single, Flynn lines up Buster. THE END!!! A suplex cutter onto the glass shards on the unprotected floor. Yikes. That hurt everybody. Both men are down.
The referee checks on both men. Flynn crawls away to recover, looking to pick his spot for a spectacular finish. That’s when he sees it. Buster pursues with money practically being thrown at him. It’s been slim pickings for donations from Flynn’s perspective so he grabs a waitress and practically mugs her. The fan starts taking things into their own hands and comes to the defense of Flynn. He’s fighting the whole room now.
And here comes Buster running down the length of the dining room and crashes into Flynn with an airborne splash. The waitress gets out of the way at the last minute but drops her check book in the process. Buster asks for crowd participation and the teeming masses hold down Flynn as Buster staples a dollar to Mark’s chest.
That’s 2-2 folks. Next dollar wins.
SAUCE BOSS: Now it’s a match! Battling through the crowd and using the entire room!
CHERRY COLA: I can’t see what’s going on. I’m standing on the announcer’s table.
The crowd is on their feet as chants of ‘Get the table’ get going. Buster obliges as he clears the plates from a table and sends patrons scattering. Flynn is pulled up by his hair and rolled onto the table, followed by Buster who steps up on a chair and then pulls Mark Flynn to his feet. OBLITERATOR!!! Burning Hammer onto the table and it comes crashing down in a heap of body parts and appetizers.
‘THIS IS AWESOME. CLAP CLAP. CLAP CLAP CLAP.’ Chants go around the room as this is easily the most intense match the venue has ever hosted.
Determined to finish the match in the ring, Buster drags Mark Flynn towards the metal barricade. He kicks Mark’s staple gun across the floor, leaves the waitress’ checkbook and all chances of a Flynn victory behind him. Flynn is rolled over the barricade and the room can feel a big win coming for the good guys here.
Buster grabs a dollar from a fan. Then another. Then another.
People are volunteering money like it’s the floor of the stock exchange. Flynn is rolled into the ring as Buster and the Referee follow suit.
SAUCE BOSS: People are volunteering money like it’s the stock room floor down here.
CHERRY COLA: Mr. Flippy didn’t even need to wear his grape smugglers. The sign of a truly talented exotic dancer. You think he can dance?
SAUCE BOSS: I’m sure he’ll dance if he wins.
Both men in the ring again. Gloves calls Flynn to his feet. Gloves tosses the staple gun between them, but keeps the dollar in his waistband. The shear f*cking hubris. The crowd is going wild over what was promised and has delivered as one of the most entertaining and most unorthodox matches in WGWF 2.0’s recent history.
They square off one final time.
CROWD: “Let’s go Buster. Let’s go Flynn. Let’s go, Buster. Let’s go Flynn.”
As the match reaches its climax, both men are battered and exhausted. They've traded blows for what feels like hours, each one determined to come out on top. Buster still with a dollar stapled to his back and a dollarless staple in his forehead. Flynn with a staple in his shoulder and a staple in his chest. But now, as the final moments of the match tick away, it's clear that someone has to emerge as the winner.
Mark Flynn is the first to make a move, diving for the staple gun but then changing levels and chop blocking Buster’s knee. An illegal move in football, but legal in this match. He looks at Buster, then the staple gun, then superkicks the Referee in the face!!!
Buster is down, clutching his knee while Flynn digs through the pockets of the referee… and success!!! He went to the well and came back with a dollar.
SAUCE BOSS: Mark Flynn has stolen a woman’s purse, stolen a tip jar, knocked an innocent man unconscious, and then robbed him. What a scumbag!
CHERRY COLA: The world may never understand the wonders of the homeless mind.
The crowd warns Buster what’s happening and he hobbles up to his feet.
There they are, panting and sweating, as they stare each other down. Flynn with the heavy advantage now. They're both determined to win, and they both know that the next move will be critical. Flynn makes his move, but Buster counters, disarming Flynn and pulling him into a massive bear hug, determined to squeeze the life out of him. The crowd holds its breath as Mark Flynn struggles to escape, but he's unable to break free.
Just as it looks like all is lost, Mark Flynn digs both thumbs into the eyes of Gloves, who released the hold. Then Flynn with two quick kicks to the yambag. Gloves is a crumpling heap in the center of the ring. The match finish resembles the beginning of the match.
Flynn goes for the FUJIWARA ARMBAR, but Buster rolls, and Flynn takes his back. He’s got a one-armed rear-naked choke. He slaps the dollar bill he liberated from the referee’s pants to the back of Buster’s sweat bald head and then lines up the staple gun for the finishing shot.
Coincidentally and predictably, the referee comes to at that exact moment and Flynn squeezes the handle. POW! This one is ALLLL OVER.
Flynn has won by a margin of 3 to 2.
DING! DING! DING!
SAUCE BOSS: Oh that is a horrible, horrible finish. That lowlife. I cannot believe it after that war. Flynn ends it with an eye poke and a groin strike.
CHERRY COLA: Two in the head and one in the chest. Homeless people are ruthless. Mr. Flippy should have hid under a table.
SAUCE BOSS: That was an insane match. I’m just not sure Mark Flynn deserved to win that one.
CHERRY COLA: Oh stop being such a whiny b*tch Saucey. It’s not like you were in the match. These two can go staple murder anybody they want for the rest of their lives. I’m just glad it’s over so I can go home and drink a box of wine.
The crowd boos venomously as Mark Flynn's hand is raised in victory. He's done it, he's won the $3 staple gun match, and he's proved that he's the superior fighter. Buster Gloves, meanwhile, is left to lick his wounds and ponder what could have been. The medical staff come to check on Buster’s wounds. But for Mark Flynn, it's a moment to savor, a moment that the Cafe will not soon forget.
Flynn exits the ring, before the crowd gets any more hostile, proud of his performance. Buster Gloves, meanwhile, can only look on in frustration as he realizes that he was outsmarted by the smaller, more ruthless, and more intelligent wrestler.
COOKIE CARTER: Here is your winner, by way of pinfall, Mark Flynn!!!
WINNER (via pinfall): Mark Flynn
Match Length: 27 minutes 46 seconds
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Host: Denise Essex with Special Guest: BUSTER GLOVES
A familiar polished steel plated desk stretches across a small sound stage bathed in soft pink and white lights from above. The reflective black granite desktop is sleek and streaked with pink and white ribbons of color and swirls trailing across its gleaming surface. Across the front, lit from behind by pink neon LEDs, hangs a sign emblazoned with the WGWF Logo, and the words 'Run Down' in brushed steel plated letters ringed in pink acrylic and just below it to the right the words, 'with Denise Essex' in flowing script of polished pink steel. We rejoin our host, Denise Essex, today adorned in a navy colored pants suit with white micro pinstripes. As always her smile is bright and cheerful as she looks up at the camera and begins her show.
“Ladies and gentlemen... fans of the WGWF-A-VERSE... welcome to another Episode of the 'the Run Down', with me, Denise Essex, live from the Ring Rust Cafe Studios in Las Vegas Nevada. Today's guest is making a ton of waves in the industry right now, and is well on his way to making a name for himself right here in the WGWF. He is none other than our very own, Buster Gloves!” Denise exclaims excitedly as Buster makes his way out from behind the pink chiffon curtain wearing a black and gold SAGA tee with faded jeans and soft worn leather boots.
“Welcome to the show, Buster. It is a pleasure to have you on with us.” she says with a cheery smile.
“A pleasure.” Buster mutters gruffly with a nod to the small crowd and a smirk of a smile.
“Well, Mr. Gloves... as a relative newcomer to the sport, what has been your impression of the WGWF since joining at the Relaunch? How does it compare to other Companies you have worked for before, and what has been the hardest thing to adjust to since being here?” Denise starts off rapid firing questions with a grin.
“I’m not afraid to say that my tenure in the WGWF has been the single greatest time of my career. I was signed just a couple months before my contract ended at Level Up Wrestling, but the experience has been completely different. The staff in the WGWF has been supportive and encouraging, especially James Raven, and I’m probably in the best shape of my life, minus the stitches and injuries. Plus I’m starting to have some success, outside of the matches with Vaughn and Flynn, which is super encouraging. I don’t want to speak too ill of Level Up, but my final 6 months there were… unpleasant. Maybe it was just a case of me finally getting a championship belt and then feeling like I became the villain. I don’t know. I’ve always loved the chase more than the championship. It’s been a really easy transition coming here, having every show in the same arena, and literally living across the street from where I work. It’s been very easy to build a routine and to train. It’s also been great having Emily, Emily Simms that is, to move in with me here at the Velvet Rabbit. I miss my kids terribly, but I get them out to as many matches as I can and I fly home to see them after every show.” Gloves states to a hushed AWWWWWW from the crowd.
“That is very sweet. I bet they love the shows and having you get to see them at home from time to time. Speaking of Emily, what about you two? How are things between you now? Has the WGWF affected your relationship at all? What about working together, and how does it affect your relationship?”she pries, looking to dig in about their relationship for the viewers who are all ears about how they are doing right now.
“Emily is the bee's knees and we’re doing great. Seriously, I’m an emotional guy. That’s common knowledge at this point. So having someone around me who has a heart as big as hers, keeps me grounded. It makes me more dangerous. It helps me bounce back quicker. I remember the stupid things I was getting involved in when I was single and I don’t do any of that stuff anymore. We have arguments about things sometimes, like all couples do, but the days in my life don’t sway from one extreme to the other like they used to. We’re stable, consistent, boring, and that is the best thing. I told her when I met her that her only job was to make sure she didn’t make my life worse. And she hasn’t. Everything's better with her. And that includes working in the WGWF. I’ve never had so much fun working for a wrestling federation and my best friend is right here with me for it.” Buster says with a genuine grin spreading across his face, happy to be talking about his beau.
“I know you have been a little outspoken about your feelings on intergender matches for yourself, and how you feel about wrestling in general, but what is your opinion on Emily possibly having intergender matches against the roster in the WGWF?” she asks, curious to hear his response.
“I’m happy for her to get ANY kind of matches in the WGWF. This is literally the best wrestling federation on the planet and I get to date one of the stars of the show. How cool is that?! She’s a phenomenal athlete. She can do things that I can’t do. And she does it on her own terms. The fans seem to love her, especially at the Ring Rust Cafe, and I’m just so proud of her. I hope she hears that.” he answers expertly, seemingly happy for her position in the company
“The world wants to know though, what's going on with Emily Simms and Lexi Gold? We have seen their friendship implode over the last few weeks, and the fans would love some insight into what is going on between them right now.” She pushes the envelope here, really trying to chase some info on the two women central to Buster's life right now.
“I really don’t know. That’s between the two of them. They can work that out. I don’t even want to speculate what Lexi is up to, but… she’s a strange duck. With the dolls and the snakes and the weird things that come out of her mouth. Honestly, she should probably be in CCPE too. Snake handlers that they are.” he quips, shifting uneasily in the chair at the mere mention of the snakes associate with Lexi Gold as a shiver runs up his spine.
“Well, Buster, that being said, how do you intend to deal with Lexi Gold at DPI2? What do you think is her overall goal in all this? What do you think motivates her to fight you?” She picks at the wound he has been avoiding for weeks, trying to find a way to get out of the match with Lexi at the DPI2, a snake filled coffin match.
“I know that everybody wants a piece of her ass, figuratively and literally, but not me. She’s my girlfriend’s friend. Or she was. Like I said before, I don’t know what’s going on with them anymore. All I know is that me being injected into that situation is a bad idea. It can’t end well and I want no parts of it because I like Emily a lot, and I don’t want to jeopardize that over an exhibition match. Some people say it’s because I’m some kind of toxic sexist chauvinistic pig who refused to wrestle with women. While I don’t enjoy the idea of a 250 lb guy stacking up a 125 lb girl, I’ll do what I’m being paid to do, it’s just not my preference. Just ask Sonya Benson if I’m willing to hit a girl. I think she’s been traumatized by it. And that doesn’t make me feel great, I’m just saying I’ll do what I have to when needed. There are plenty of girls that I would love to just demolish in the ring right now…Victoria Strader, Tara Fenix, Sara Wolf. But that’s not who I have at the DPI. I have Lexi Gold, because she went behind my back with Denzel Porter and booked the match and now I can’t back out of the match without costing him money. I respect Denzel too much to do that. I don’t want to tarnish my reputation as someone who no-shows or backs out of bookings. So I’ll work the match. And I don’t care if it has caskets full of snakes, or flying spiders, or murder hornets in there. I’m bringing the smoke, and Lexi is gonna regret whatever game she’s been trying to play with me and my relationship.” he says as he grits his teeth and gazes across the small crowd in attendance.
“Strong words for Lexi Gold there going into the Second Denzel Porter Invitational, but I feel like you mean every one of them. Changing gears here just a little bit, what were your thoughts about James Raven's list when he gave it to you all those months ago in his hotel room?” She asks about a very early meeting between the two men that has led us to this point with Buster in the WGWF so far, and was really a catalyst for his career here.
“Here’s the thing about that list. I’m a pretty literal guy. Emily says that about me all the time. I’m terrible at taking hints. So when I signed with the WGWF, I went right to James Raven and asked him what I needed to do to be successful in his eyes. He gave me a list of 8 names and I’ve been singularly focused on it since then. Whenever I feel like I might be lost or losing a step, I look at that list, written in his hand writing, and it keeps me on track. I’m being railroaded through hell to get to my first World Championship match, and I’m OK with that. What I lack in smarts, I make for in pure determination. I’d probably run through a brick wall if JR told me to.” he exclaimed with a stone solid grim grin smeared across his face.
“Not everything has been great for you since getting that list, and not all of the matches had endings quite like you had hoped. How has that impression of the list's purpose changed, and how do you plan to move forward with it from here?” she presses the question further.
“It’s been a huge challenge. Losing to Xavier Lux. Mark Flynn. Peter Vaughn… twice. But I learned so much more in losing those three matches than I learned in 3 months as the Wisdom Champion at Level Up Wrestling. It wasn’t until I picked up that win over Chris Page in the XWF that I started to believe finishing the list was possible. Since then, I’ve been on a roll. Punisher, Bam Miller, Holden Ross. I got all three of them. I think the win over Page was what gave me the confidence to push past the other guys. And if we’re being honest, there was a moment in our match together where I think he took his foot off the gas pedal a little bit. I think he wanted me to beat him, even though he did try to drown me in a water fountain. Your original question was about how I’m moving forward with the list. I just lost to Vaughn. I still have some work to do before I can take any more shots at those guys. Until then, I have an Intercontinental Tournament to focus on.” Buster says stoically, really thinking about what he got out of those matches and how it's progressed his mindset for the business.
“While you may have your list, and those names are important to you getting your shot at the WGWF World Heavyweight Championship, who are you looking forward to challenging on the list the most, and why? Who the least?” she plunges deeper, trying to hear which matches are most important to him.
“I want the same guy everybody wants right now. I want another shot at Peter Vaughn. We have a long, well documented history. We were teammates. We got Orange Julius at the mall once before. And he’s the guy that almost ended my quest for gold before it ever got off of the ground. I can’t think of a more satisfying ending to this story than to finally beat all of his allies and then challenge him again. I know I have work to do before that. I have to earn it. But in my wrestling world, Peter Vaughn is the North Star.” he answers confidently, looking forward to the future where he has earned that match and gets to finish his quest for his chance at gold.
“And who do I want to work with the least? That’s loser talk. I want to work with all of those guys on the list. James Raven, in his infinite wisdom, wrote down those 8 names because they each represent parts of my game that I need to prove before I’m ready. My kids will be proud of me for understanding the reference, but it’s kind of like in Pokemon, where that kid has to go all over the place and defeat each of those gym leaders to earn his badges before he can become an Elite Trainer. You know what I’m talking about?” he pauses and looks out across the crowd before continuing. “Well anyway, I have 3 badges. 5 more to go. And then we can talk about being elite.” he finishes his theory to a giggle and applause from the crowd.
“You have had a string of pretty heinous injuries as of late, even though you have come away with a string of impressive wins as of late. How are you doing, how is the recovery, and do these injuries concern you moving forward?” Denise asks, concerned for his health and status after a series of fairly brutal matches recently.
“Oh, I’m doing great. I kind of oversold those injuries a little bit. I’ve always been a good bleeder. My doctor tells me that. I used to cut pretty easy in my MMA career as well. So, that’s really not a big deal to me. But I did have a couple scares last year that gave me pause. The first was with the Punisher and that damned scepter he had. I don’t even think he carries it around anymore, but he almost took out my eye with that thing. I’m still a little pissed off that he wasn’t disciplined for that. But he and I are done fighting each other. He’s an executive now and it’s probably best that we just avoid each other. The other injury, and this was the nasty one. I had an aggravated sports hernia right around the time I was facing Chris Page. It was a lump, about the size of a golf ball, just below my belt on the left side. It hurt like hell, but I wasn’t about to miss an opportunity like that over something that wasn’t life threatening. So I took a shot and did the match and made it much worse. That’s when I got the surgery and missed the West Coast Rumble. Things are all good now though. I got my range of motion back. And no more shots. Thank God. I have tried to avoid all drugs since I got clean in 2016.” Buster explains with a sly grin, glad that he is on the mend and working towards great health.
“Well, I am very glad to hear that, but other than your list, being of good health and ready to get back to the ring, what future plans do you have in the WGWF?” she asks plainly.
“Right now, the Intercontinental Championship is everything. I got by Bam Miller in the first round and he’s the toughest guy in the whole bracket. Seriously, when I drew his name, I threw up a little bit. I’ve seen him work in Level Up and I knew I wasn’t going out dancing after that match. I don’t think any of these other match-ups will be a cake walk either, but I’m looking to carry the momentum of that massive win into the next two rounds. I’d do just about anything to get my hands on that championship, but only one of us gets it. And whoever wins is gonna have to bring their best game. If it’s me, I’ll represent this company well. If it isn’t, I’ll shake the hand of the person who wins it, knowing that they earned it.” he answers candidly to light applause from the crowd, happy to hear the sportsmanship.
“What about the faction of snake fighters you announced? Who is involved so far, and who would you like to become involved in that group in the future?" She asks about the men who Buster has said have joined him to fight the snake pit that is CCPE.
“Let’s see, by the time this airs, XWF Snow Job will have been over. Watch it if you haven’t already. So it’s time we let the cat out of the bag. I’ve been talking and teasing and hinting for a long time about building a faction to combat CCPE. The World submitted 12 individuals to stand up to the task, but we were divided in that effort and failed. The next time around won’t be the same story. So I guess now is a great time to reveal that I, Buster Gloves, The Bull of the North, am a proud member of the most honorable stable in professional wrestling. We go by the name SAGA; as in an epic collection of stories that span over many years and federations. And this faction, led by none other than Theo Pryce, is set on returning dignity back to the sport of professional wrestling. Raion Kido, Jason Cashe, Ned Kaye, Thaddeus Duke, and Buster Gloves are your core members. But more are coming. While the rest of the group is focusing their efforts on purging the corruption from the XWF, I’m focusing my efforts on recruiting outside of the XWF. I already have my first warrior in waiting. You know them well, and they will be revealed soon. But we aren’t stopping there.” he says excitedly, obviously passionate about the project at hand.
“That IS pretty big news. What is your eventual goal as a group, and how do you plan to make those goals reality?” she presses further still.
“The goal is to show the world that there’s more than one way to run this business. CCPE won’t be allowed to operate unopposed any longer. I challenged the world to unite and it didn’t. So now, I’ve taken things into my own hands and approached The Trilogy about expanding their ranks. By this time next year, after CCPE vs. SAGA, you’ll see that there is great power and value in doing things the right way. There’s strength in unifying behind a banner and doing the right thing. We’re delivering a message that anyone who’s been picked on, pushed around, bullied, and beaten, that you aren’t alone. I promised there were way more of us than there were of them. CCPE has peaked. Their numbers are on the decline. And we have the entire world behind us.” he says with a confidently smug smile and a round of cheers from the crowd at his stirring speech.
“Well, it seems like you have your hands full for the next year, but know we will be keeping an eye on your career and what happens with SAGA in the future.” She smiles at Buster before turning to the audience.
“Well ladies and gentlemen, that is all the time we have today with Buster Gloves on the 'Run Down', with me Denise Essex. It's been a pleasure to have you all with me today, and I hope to see you next time. Have a great night.” she says with a wide smile as the scene fades to black.
WGWF Presents:
Monday Night Brawl
1.30.23
MATCH 1:
Intercontinental Title Tournament - Round 1
“MARVELOUS” MIKE MASON vs SAMANTHA VOX
MATCH 2:
GOTH vs MARK “THE DRAGON CROSS
MATCH 3:
THE SHOW STEALERZ © vs ZARA IVORY and ATARA RAVEN
MATCH 4:
JOHN CABLE vs DAMAGE
MAIN EVENT:
Intercontinental Title Tournament - 1st Round
“CHOLO” GIOVANNI SANTANA vs “THE EPITOME” MIKE ANGELO