Post by "Cholo" Giovanni Santana on Dec 31, 2022 21:57:54 GMT -5
OOC: I'm on vacation, really thought I would have time to write one fully but between crappy hotel internet and a forgotten a/c power adapter and frankly, me having so much fun, this is all I could put together. I just didn't want to completely "no show". Lo siento Page, Raven, everyone.
Cholo’s handler is in vacation right now… and can’t believe he is being asked to write a roleplay by New Year’s Eve as he stares at a beautiful fountain that is being highlighted by colorful lights… It’s so peaceful and soothing…. In the background, a party goes on, and he’s been invited a few times to swing by already…
“Decisions, decisions” he thinks to himself.
“Should have written it before going on vacation!” he gets reprimanded by his inner conscious.
“We posted early vs. Benson, and you saw what happened.” The handler retorts.
“Alright, alright, enough, let it go… let’s get into character.”
It’s West Coast Rumble week and “Cholo” Giovanni Santana has planned a very special night, a few nights before New Year’s Eve, to celebrate all the participants in the event, with a charity dinner and roast here in Las Vegas. Everyone and anyone associated with WGWF has been invited to the Casino Cholo is part owner of, and if you don’t know which that is, give a watch to his first WGWF promo to get caught up. But the biggest conference room in the Latino owned casino is host to tonight’s festivities, and now that the dinner has been had by wrestles, staff, and guests alike, people are ready to be entertained by the many celebrities and comedians that usually partake in the Comedy Central Roasts. A few have already done their bits, and currently “on stage” is Nikki Glaser, after her, is our very own Cholo who fancies himself a comedian, though not as good as Allen Chaney. Currently he is “backstage”, having an animated discussion with his manager and uncle, Paco “The Drinking Time Bomb” Perez.
Paco: Look mi’jo, I think it’s a great idea to hold a charity event and raise funds for your new charity here in Vegas, but I don’t think it’s a great idea for you to be getting on that stage and making fun of all the wrestlers looking to kick your culo at the rumble and tossing that same culo over the top rope to eliminate you!
Cholo: Relax hombre! Have a shot or two of tequila and see me after!
Paco: Stop stealing my lines!
Cholo: Tio, it’s going to be fine! All these guys know that this is all for fun, we are all out here just to have a good time in a relaxed environment days before we all beat each other up.
Paco: Yeah but if you don’t make fun of them, some of them can be important allies during the match… If you want to win this thing, you are going to rely on others, even briefly. It is the proven formula to win these types of events.
Cholo: Woah, so you are saying Cholo can only win this if he gets help?
Paco: First of all, don’t you third person me pendejo! Second of all, what I am saying is that it doesn’t hurt having help. But what does hurt is alienating yourself by making fun of all your opponents. They will all have a reason for teaming up against you and eliminating you as fast as possible.
Cholo: You are overreacting Tio, everyone loves roasts. Besides, Peter Vaughn is in this thing, and El Mecanico loves me!
Paco: The Peter Vaughn you see now is not the same Peter Vaughn you partied with on the cruise, I do hope you know that. Plus he just won the World Series of Wrestling, that man has just reached a whole ‘nother level in 2022, and he will be looking to start his 2023 with a big win the likes only the West Coast Rumble can bring.
Cholo: Oh I know about the big year Big Pedro has been having, I got a lot of material to use on him for that, you’ll see. They will all see… But at the same time, they know what to expect and they know there is no ill will behind these.. Everyone gets to make fun of everyone and at the end, we all go home happy.
Paco: Okay, but what if you go out there a bomb? What if no one laughs at your jokes.
Cholo: What are you saying Tio?
Paco: I’m saying you are a FUN guy, but you are not a funny guy, comprendes?
Cholo: Did you just call me a mushroom?
Paco: Huh?
Cholo: Fun-guy, fungi? Get it? HA!
Paco: Please tell me you have better material than that?
Cholo: Of course, I do, that was just a sample. Besides, I have been watching a lot of videos of previous roasts.
Paco: Oh yeah, of who?
Just then Cholo gets told he’s up next as the crowd is applauding Nikki’s set. Cholo winks at Paco and then heads towards the curtain as he waits to be introduced.
Paco: Whose videos did you watch Cholo?!
Cholo gets introduced and the crowd cheers loudly, before going out there, he looks back at his uncle.
Cholo: Andy Sandberg mostly, he is so good. I’m going to kill it uncle! See you after!
Cholo smiles big and heads out there as Paco slaps his forehead.
Paco: Hay dios mio, este pendejo!
Inside the conference room, everyone is done clapping and taking their seats. The wrestlers, staff and guests are all sitting around tables and behind them lines of chairs with lucky fans who got their tickets via a drawing based on them giving donations. Cholo, dress all in white, taps the mic to make sure it’s on and then begins.
Cholo: Cholo is very happy to be here tonight, on the Comedy Central Roast of all the participants, including the mystery entrants, of this year West Coast Rumble. Cholo is known to be many things, and a funny hombre is at the top of that list. But a WGWF Rumble Roast couldn’t be possible, if Cholo didn’t roast the man behind it all first, so buckle up everyone, because we’re going to start fast, and we’re going to go hard, starting with “Chronic” Chris Page.
Crowd gives a nice reaction.
Cholo: Man, can you believe this hombre? He has travelled so many promotions, won so many matches and titles, created so many amazing moments.. and that was just this year alone! Not only that, but also this Cabron’s thirst for overachieving could not be quenched by all of this, that he had to bring back his beloved promotion WGWF and asked yours truly to be a part of it! I mean little old Cholo? Just because he gave Mark Flynn a great match at the Cannabis Cup? If you missed it, after the match Chris Page came and gave Cholo a great pep talk with an amazing offer. What a piece of mierda right? They don’t make him like Chris Page any more mi gente, what an ICON. Give it up for the big boss.
Crowd claps, though albeit confused.
Alright, fed head? Check. Who’s next? Well naturally you would all think I would go pretty hard at our general manager James Raven… but let’s be honest…. he’s never here, Chris Page is keeping this baby afloat! Quote The Raven, Never Here! Is Cholo right? JA! So, let’s just skip El Pajarraco huh? Deal? DEAL!
Cholo pulls out a list from one of his many guayavera pockets and lays it in the podium in front of him.
Cholo: Alright, for Cholo’s first Rumble Roast victim…. “The Kingdom” Fred Debonair. I mean where so we begin with this British hijo de puta, he is an entire kingdom? How does one even compete with that? Cholo for sure can’t, he doesn’t own an army. Good for you amigo! I’m sure the queen, err King is very proud of you! Up next….
Cholo’s handler is in vacation right now… and can’t believe he is being asked to write a roleplay by New Year’s Eve as he stares at a beautiful fountain that is being highlighted by colorful lights… It’s so peaceful and soothing…. In the background, a party goes on, and he’s been invited a few times to swing by already…
“Decisions, decisions” he thinks to himself.
“Should have written it before going on vacation!” he gets reprimanded by his inner conscious.
“We posted early vs. Benson, and you saw what happened.” The handler retorts.
“Alright, alright, enough, let it go… let’s get into character.”
It’s West Coast Rumble week and “Cholo” Giovanni Santana has planned a very special night, a few nights before New Year’s Eve, to celebrate all the participants in the event, with a charity dinner and roast here in Las Vegas. Everyone and anyone associated with WGWF has been invited to the Casino Cholo is part owner of, and if you don’t know which that is, give a watch to his first WGWF promo to get caught up. But the biggest conference room in the Latino owned casino is host to tonight’s festivities, and now that the dinner has been had by wrestles, staff, and guests alike, people are ready to be entertained by the many celebrities and comedians that usually partake in the Comedy Central Roasts. A few have already done their bits, and currently “on stage” is Nikki Glaser, after her, is our very own Cholo who fancies himself a comedian, though not as good as Allen Chaney. Currently he is “backstage”, having an animated discussion with his manager and uncle, Paco “The Drinking Time Bomb” Perez.
Paco: Look mi’jo, I think it’s a great idea to hold a charity event and raise funds for your new charity here in Vegas, but I don’t think it’s a great idea for you to be getting on that stage and making fun of all the wrestlers looking to kick your culo at the rumble and tossing that same culo over the top rope to eliminate you!
Cholo: Relax hombre! Have a shot or two of tequila and see me after!
Paco: Stop stealing my lines!
Cholo: Tio, it’s going to be fine! All these guys know that this is all for fun, we are all out here just to have a good time in a relaxed environment days before we all beat each other up.
Paco: Yeah but if you don’t make fun of them, some of them can be important allies during the match… If you want to win this thing, you are going to rely on others, even briefly. It is the proven formula to win these types of events.
Cholo: Woah, so you are saying Cholo can only win this if he gets help?
Paco: First of all, don’t you third person me pendejo! Second of all, what I am saying is that it doesn’t hurt having help. But what does hurt is alienating yourself by making fun of all your opponents. They will all have a reason for teaming up against you and eliminating you as fast as possible.
Cholo: You are overreacting Tio, everyone loves roasts. Besides, Peter Vaughn is in this thing, and El Mecanico loves me!
Paco: The Peter Vaughn you see now is not the same Peter Vaughn you partied with on the cruise, I do hope you know that. Plus he just won the World Series of Wrestling, that man has just reached a whole ‘nother level in 2022, and he will be looking to start his 2023 with a big win the likes only the West Coast Rumble can bring.
Cholo: Oh I know about the big year Big Pedro has been having, I got a lot of material to use on him for that, you’ll see. They will all see… But at the same time, they know what to expect and they know there is no ill will behind these.. Everyone gets to make fun of everyone and at the end, we all go home happy.
Paco: Okay, but what if you go out there a bomb? What if no one laughs at your jokes.
Cholo: What are you saying Tio?
Paco: I’m saying you are a FUN guy, but you are not a funny guy, comprendes?
Cholo: Did you just call me a mushroom?
Paco: Huh?
Cholo: Fun-guy, fungi? Get it? HA!
Paco: Please tell me you have better material than that?
Cholo: Of course, I do, that was just a sample. Besides, I have been watching a lot of videos of previous roasts.
Paco: Oh yeah, of who?
Just then Cholo gets told he’s up next as the crowd is applauding Nikki’s set. Cholo winks at Paco and then heads towards the curtain as he waits to be introduced.
Paco: Whose videos did you watch Cholo?!
Cholo gets introduced and the crowd cheers loudly, before going out there, he looks back at his uncle.
Cholo: Andy Sandberg mostly, he is so good. I’m going to kill it uncle! See you after!
Cholo smiles big and heads out there as Paco slaps his forehead.
Paco: Hay dios mio, este pendejo!
Inside the conference room, everyone is done clapping and taking their seats. The wrestlers, staff and guests are all sitting around tables and behind them lines of chairs with lucky fans who got their tickets via a drawing based on them giving donations. Cholo, dress all in white, taps the mic to make sure it’s on and then begins.
Cholo: Cholo is very happy to be here tonight, on the Comedy Central Roast of all the participants, including the mystery entrants, of this year West Coast Rumble. Cholo is known to be many things, and a funny hombre is at the top of that list. But a WGWF Rumble Roast couldn’t be possible, if Cholo didn’t roast the man behind it all first, so buckle up everyone, because we’re going to start fast, and we’re going to go hard, starting with “Chronic” Chris Page.
Crowd gives a nice reaction.
Cholo: Man, can you believe this hombre? He has travelled so many promotions, won so many matches and titles, created so many amazing moments.. and that was just this year alone! Not only that, but also this Cabron’s thirst for overachieving could not be quenched by all of this, that he had to bring back his beloved promotion WGWF and asked yours truly to be a part of it! I mean little old Cholo? Just because he gave Mark Flynn a great match at the Cannabis Cup? If you missed it, after the match Chris Page came and gave Cholo a great pep talk with an amazing offer. What a piece of mierda right? They don’t make him like Chris Page any more mi gente, what an ICON. Give it up for the big boss.
Crowd claps, though albeit confused.
Alright, fed head? Check. Who’s next? Well naturally you would all think I would go pretty hard at our general manager James Raven… but let’s be honest…. he’s never here, Chris Page is keeping this baby afloat! Quote The Raven, Never Here! Is Cholo right? JA! So, let’s just skip El Pajarraco huh? Deal? DEAL!
Cholo pulls out a list from one of his many guayavera pockets and lays it in the podium in front of him.
Cholo: Alright, for Cholo’s first Rumble Roast victim…. “The Kingdom” Fred Debonair. I mean where so we begin with this British hijo de puta, he is an entire kingdom? How does one even compete with that? Cholo for sure can’t, he doesn’t own an army. Good for you amigo! I’m sure the queen, err King is very proud of you! Up next….