Post by Bobby Ray Willis on May 3, 2024 23:41:48 GMT -5
Moments after Bobby Ray Willis captured the TV title, moments after the end of a reign we catch up with the newly crowned champion. Like many years before when Michael Jordan captured his championship title after the passing of his father, Bobby Ray sits huddled in the locker room area hugging the golden title belt with both tears and sweat streaming down his face.
Meanwhile, behind the champion Doll E and Cooper are celebrating with champagne bottles and plenty of laughs. Coop even douses Bobby Ray with one of the bottles, but Bobby Ray doesn’t seem to care; he just keeps on hugging that title belt. Bobby Ray continues to pay no attention to the both of them, even as more champagne is poured over his dirty blonde hair. He flips the mop back up and maintains eye contact with only the WGWF Television Championship title, eventually the music fades as Bobby Ray looks up towards the camera.
“For the longest time in my life, I was worried that I wasn’t good enough, I wasn’t fast enough or strong enough or even smart enough to make it very far in the world of professional wrestling. Hell, I didn’t think I would even make it very far in the world as anything to be honest. The story of my life has Bobby Ray, just good enough to make it to second place but not good to ever actually win. In high school football I took my Bobcats all the way to the Texas state championship game… only to lose that game. I hated that so much that I took my team back to the championship game the very next year, only to lose once again. Oh sure, I got my fair share of pats on the back and my ‘way to go’ from all the fans in the crowd and from everyone at the school…
I didn’t want that. I never wanted just that. Second place was never what I wanted, I didn’t want the pats on the back or did I want the way to go kid or any of that other shit. I wanted the win, I wanted to shake the feeling that I just wasn’t good enough to win the big one.
But, I didn’t win, I didn’t get my parade.
And then I got to WGWF, and in my very first match on television I became the number one contender to the television championship. Like dragging my Bobcats to the state title game for a third time, I was finally going to get my shot. And I fell short, I fell short to Jenny Myst in a push the button match and once again was only good enough for second place. I looked at myself in the mirror for a very very long time after that match, doubt once again creeping into my mind and once again hearing the words ‘nice try kid’ and feeling the slaps on my back. I got myself ready for another run, I did everything I could to drag myself back into that ring for another shot at Jenny Myst, for another chance to be number one.”
Bobby Ray pauses from speaking only long enough to flip his hair back from his face, his eyes gaze widely at the title belt. He takes a moment to choke back his words one more time before continuing on.
“...that second chance. Shit, that second chance nearly broke me. Even though Goth was the one who cost me that second chance, I can't help fight the feeling that I would have eventually lost that match too. I can’t shake the notion that perhaps I would have once again been only good enough to be second place on that night. Maybe I should thank Goth, maybe he’s the one that really saved this whole idea of me ever winning the big one.
Because I didn’t give up on that, I knew going into the three-way match would be my toughest chance yet. Normally in any sport you can just focus on the one opponent, but tonight? I had two of the most deadly opponents standing across the ring from me. To finally win the big one, I had to overcome my most difficult challenge ever.
Had I lost, had I lost?! I don’t think I would have ever recovered. It would have been an endless line of people waiting to slap me on the back and tell me ‘way to go kid’ or reassure me that I almost had it that time. An endless line of tired endless lines… all with the same message, you’re only good enough Bobby Ray for second place.”
And now Bobby Ray stops again, the upper lip on his face begins to curl back revealing his pearly white teeth. His smile eventually stretches ear to ear as he begins to lift up that TV title belt.
“But, not tonight. No. Tonight, I have shaken the label of second place. I have taken my team to finals and in front of my home state of Texas, I have dragged them across the finish line in first place.
I won.
I won and I have the gold to prove it to the world.
No pats on the back, no job well done or other bullshit like that. I am no longer second place, I stand at the front of the line on the tallest podium ready to wear my glorious crown.
And I want my parade.
You hear me? I want my fucking parade down the streets of my hometown of Texarkana. I want those streamers, I want that confetti, I want a giant float with me standing on top of it with a hundred damn near naked ladies throwing candy out towards the crowd. And I want to be doing this while only wearing my assless chaps, and this here TV title belt.
Doll E, hit the music!”
Doll E reaches over and turns up the stereo system in the locker room which begins to pump out the Wham!, but not ‘Careless Whisper’ rather instead going with the upbeat "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” and the two continue on dancing as Bobby Ray is handed a bottle of champagne and begins to laugh like a Bond villain in the first act.
And then days later… the parade happened.
Maybe not to the extent that Bobby Ray had pitched it, but there was a float and there were people standing on the streets wondering why there was a float and there was a celebration. You can probably find it all on YouTube or some other streaming platform. Also, the local Texarkana news affiliate WTEX was there to cover the whole damn thing because here’s the interview that Bobby Ray had with them shortly after that parade with news reporter, Shelly Lynn. Take it away, Shelly.
SHELLY: “This was quite the celebration you had today…”
Bobby Ray’s not about to let someone ask the questions, not when he’s got the proverbial key to the city of Texarkana hanging around neck like he was Flava Flav and he’s got some bragging to do.
BRW: “Well Shelly, it’s not every single day of your life that the mayor declares it Bobby Ray Willis Day and hands you the key to the city, am I right? So I figured if I get to open any single that I wanted, I might as well open them all today and let everyone join in the greatest parade in the history of Texarkana. I mean, I guess it was kind of a bummer that the tornado warning sirens came on and chased away a lot of the spectators, but the hardcore fans stuck it out.”
SHELLY: “Don’t you think you should have rescheduled? I mean, you were given the option of pushing this back a week or so and picking a day that wasn’t calling for severe storms throughout the area.”
BRW: “I would, but I’m about to go back on the road and start defending this here TV title. In fact, I’ve got only a couple of days before I head on out to San Antonio and face my first challenge now that I am the hunted. Sure, Seth Stevens doesn’t exactly scream challenge after his loss at WrestleWars. But, he has won before… maybe it’s been a while, but I don’t want to break that streak to start off my television title reign. How embarrassing would that be, right? Not that would ever happen, imagine a person like me, a natural born winner actually losing to Seth Stevens. If I thought that’d be remotely possible I would just hand this key to the city right back over to the mayor of Texarkana myself.”
Bobby Ray laughs at that one himself, while the reporter is wondering why he’s cutting a promo on her right here and now.
SHELLY: “So… I guess we’ll wrap that up then.”
BRW: “Besides, Seth Stevens is another one of these XWF rejects. Just like Jenny Myst, just like Goth and here I stand on top of them all. Just like I’ll stand on top of Seth Stevens when it’s all said and done, with his shoulders on the mat. Just like I stand here right on WTEX live with this key to the city around my neck and this Television title belt around my waist, these assless chaps on my legs and these two beautiful women under each of my arms.”
As if on cue two blonde haired women flock to each side of Bobby Ray Willis and he lets out a laugh just like any Bond villain would after catching James Bond in one of those elaborate traps right before leaving for lunch. In fact, Bobby Ray exits stage right leaving Shelly Lynn all alone to finish off this broadcast.
Long after the parade and the interview.
Bobby Ray has once again retreated to the Clint Eastwood Memorial Shrine in his part of the trailer. Facing a couple of posters of Clint when he was in his Dirty Harry phase, Bobby Ray no longer looks confident as he did a couple of days ago when he had that key to the city around his neck. Instead Bobby Ray leans forward on his knees pushing his hand up against the wall with the posters.
“How did you do it, Clint?
How did you manage to stay so damn cool for so damn long when the weight of the world was on your shoulders? How did you continue to crank out amazing film after amazing film after you had already became the greatest living actor in all of Hollywood? I ask these questions because I have become the champion of all television and now I need to defend that crown. But, you already knew that since you’re Clint Eastwood and know all.
I soon step back into that ring for the first time since my victory at WrestleWars and I’m going to need that juice only you can offer. Sure, sure… it’s a non-title match and I’m sure that I can handle Seth Stevens, but… I could really use a little extra to send a message to the rest of the roster of WGWF. Especially to any of those that might covet which is now mine. So, I need to know Clint, I need to know how to stay on top forever. I want to make people remember that Bobby Ray Willis is a winner and no longer will ever be second best. I want to make all the mysterious stranger movies, followed by the Dirty Harry movies, and even throw in a Rookie movie with Charlie Sheen in there. But still remain on top, just like you.
I’m going to need more to make this reign memorable, so give me that extra crunch, Daddy.”
Bobby Ray rocks back on his knees and throws his hands into the air letting the power of Clint Eastwood begin to flow. We fade to black.
Meanwhile, behind the champion Doll E and Cooper are celebrating with champagne bottles and plenty of laughs. Coop even douses Bobby Ray with one of the bottles, but Bobby Ray doesn’t seem to care; he just keeps on hugging that title belt. Bobby Ray continues to pay no attention to the both of them, even as more champagne is poured over his dirty blonde hair. He flips the mop back up and maintains eye contact with only the WGWF Television Championship title, eventually the music fades as Bobby Ray looks up towards the camera.
“For the longest time in my life, I was worried that I wasn’t good enough, I wasn’t fast enough or strong enough or even smart enough to make it very far in the world of professional wrestling. Hell, I didn’t think I would even make it very far in the world as anything to be honest. The story of my life has Bobby Ray, just good enough to make it to second place but not good to ever actually win. In high school football I took my Bobcats all the way to the Texas state championship game… only to lose that game. I hated that so much that I took my team back to the championship game the very next year, only to lose once again. Oh sure, I got my fair share of pats on the back and my ‘way to go’ from all the fans in the crowd and from everyone at the school…
I didn’t want that. I never wanted just that. Second place was never what I wanted, I didn’t want the pats on the back or did I want the way to go kid or any of that other shit. I wanted the win, I wanted to shake the feeling that I just wasn’t good enough to win the big one.
But, I didn’t win, I didn’t get my parade.
And then I got to WGWF, and in my very first match on television I became the number one contender to the television championship. Like dragging my Bobcats to the state title game for a third time, I was finally going to get my shot. And I fell short, I fell short to Jenny Myst in a push the button match and once again was only good enough for second place. I looked at myself in the mirror for a very very long time after that match, doubt once again creeping into my mind and once again hearing the words ‘nice try kid’ and feeling the slaps on my back. I got myself ready for another run, I did everything I could to drag myself back into that ring for another shot at Jenny Myst, for another chance to be number one.”
Bobby Ray pauses from speaking only long enough to flip his hair back from his face, his eyes gaze widely at the title belt. He takes a moment to choke back his words one more time before continuing on.
“...that second chance. Shit, that second chance nearly broke me. Even though Goth was the one who cost me that second chance, I can't help fight the feeling that I would have eventually lost that match too. I can’t shake the notion that perhaps I would have once again been only good enough to be second place on that night. Maybe I should thank Goth, maybe he’s the one that really saved this whole idea of me ever winning the big one.
Because I didn’t give up on that, I knew going into the three-way match would be my toughest chance yet. Normally in any sport you can just focus on the one opponent, but tonight? I had two of the most deadly opponents standing across the ring from me. To finally win the big one, I had to overcome my most difficult challenge ever.
Had I lost, had I lost?! I don’t think I would have ever recovered. It would have been an endless line of people waiting to slap me on the back and tell me ‘way to go kid’ or reassure me that I almost had it that time. An endless line of tired endless lines… all with the same message, you’re only good enough Bobby Ray for second place.”
And now Bobby Ray stops again, the upper lip on his face begins to curl back revealing his pearly white teeth. His smile eventually stretches ear to ear as he begins to lift up that TV title belt.
“But, not tonight. No. Tonight, I have shaken the label of second place. I have taken my team to finals and in front of my home state of Texas, I have dragged them across the finish line in first place.
I won.
I won and I have the gold to prove it to the world.
No pats on the back, no job well done or other bullshit like that. I am no longer second place, I stand at the front of the line on the tallest podium ready to wear my glorious crown.
And I want my parade.
You hear me? I want my fucking parade down the streets of my hometown of Texarkana. I want those streamers, I want that confetti, I want a giant float with me standing on top of it with a hundred damn near naked ladies throwing candy out towards the crowd. And I want to be doing this while only wearing my assless chaps, and this here TV title belt.
Doll E, hit the music!”
Doll E reaches over and turns up the stereo system in the locker room which begins to pump out the Wham!, but not ‘Careless Whisper’ rather instead going with the upbeat "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” and the two continue on dancing as Bobby Ray is handed a bottle of champagne and begins to laugh like a Bond villain in the first act.
And then days later… the parade happened.
Maybe not to the extent that Bobby Ray had pitched it, but there was a float and there were people standing on the streets wondering why there was a float and there was a celebration. You can probably find it all on YouTube or some other streaming platform. Also, the local Texarkana news affiliate WTEX was there to cover the whole damn thing because here’s the interview that Bobby Ray had with them shortly after that parade with news reporter, Shelly Lynn. Take it away, Shelly.
SHELLY: “This was quite the celebration you had today…”
Bobby Ray’s not about to let someone ask the questions, not when he’s got the proverbial key to the city of Texarkana hanging around neck like he was Flava Flav and he’s got some bragging to do.
BRW: “Well Shelly, it’s not every single day of your life that the mayor declares it Bobby Ray Willis Day and hands you the key to the city, am I right? So I figured if I get to open any single that I wanted, I might as well open them all today and let everyone join in the greatest parade in the history of Texarkana. I mean, I guess it was kind of a bummer that the tornado warning sirens came on and chased away a lot of the spectators, but the hardcore fans stuck it out.”
SHELLY: “Don’t you think you should have rescheduled? I mean, you were given the option of pushing this back a week or so and picking a day that wasn’t calling for severe storms throughout the area.”
BRW: “I would, but I’m about to go back on the road and start defending this here TV title. In fact, I’ve got only a couple of days before I head on out to San Antonio and face my first challenge now that I am the hunted. Sure, Seth Stevens doesn’t exactly scream challenge after his loss at WrestleWars. But, he has won before… maybe it’s been a while, but I don’t want to break that streak to start off my television title reign. How embarrassing would that be, right? Not that would ever happen, imagine a person like me, a natural born winner actually losing to Seth Stevens. If I thought that’d be remotely possible I would just hand this key to the city right back over to the mayor of Texarkana myself.”
Bobby Ray laughs at that one himself, while the reporter is wondering why he’s cutting a promo on her right here and now.
SHELLY: “So… I guess we’ll wrap that up then.”
BRW: “Besides, Seth Stevens is another one of these XWF rejects. Just like Jenny Myst, just like Goth and here I stand on top of them all. Just like I’ll stand on top of Seth Stevens when it’s all said and done, with his shoulders on the mat. Just like I stand here right on WTEX live with this key to the city around my neck and this Television title belt around my waist, these assless chaps on my legs and these two beautiful women under each of my arms.”
As if on cue two blonde haired women flock to each side of Bobby Ray Willis and he lets out a laugh just like any Bond villain would after catching James Bond in one of those elaborate traps right before leaving for lunch. In fact, Bobby Ray exits stage right leaving Shelly Lynn all alone to finish off this broadcast.
Long after the parade and the interview.
Bobby Ray has once again retreated to the Clint Eastwood Memorial Shrine in his part of the trailer. Facing a couple of posters of Clint when he was in his Dirty Harry phase, Bobby Ray no longer looks confident as he did a couple of days ago when he had that key to the city around his neck. Instead Bobby Ray leans forward on his knees pushing his hand up against the wall with the posters.
“How did you do it, Clint?
How did you manage to stay so damn cool for so damn long when the weight of the world was on your shoulders? How did you continue to crank out amazing film after amazing film after you had already became the greatest living actor in all of Hollywood? I ask these questions because I have become the champion of all television and now I need to defend that crown. But, you already knew that since you’re Clint Eastwood and know all.
I soon step back into that ring for the first time since my victory at WrestleWars and I’m going to need that juice only you can offer. Sure, sure… it’s a non-title match and I’m sure that I can handle Seth Stevens, but… I could really use a little extra to send a message to the rest of the roster of WGWF. Especially to any of those that might covet which is now mine. So, I need to know Clint, I need to know how to stay on top forever. I want to make people remember that Bobby Ray Willis is a winner and no longer will ever be second best. I want to make all the mysterious stranger movies, followed by the Dirty Harry movies, and even throw in a Rookie movie with Charlie Sheen in there. But still remain on top, just like you.
I’m going to need more to make this reign memorable, so give me that extra crunch, Daddy.”
Bobby Ray rocks back on his knees and throws his hands into the air letting the power of Clint Eastwood begin to flow. We fade to black.