Post by Bobby Ray Willis on Apr 14, 2024 22:13:48 GMT -5
From another world out of time the picture kicks in.
The room is just bright enough from the lit candelabras that the few rows of wooden pews in this ancient small church can be seen to be completely empty. The entrance of this church is open and waiting for those to step in from the darkness as the pastor stands in front of his congregation of nothing but ghosts at this point.
That pastor happens to be Kraken Kamerick, who even in this dark room is wearing a pair of round sunglasses.
This is a place of worship for those just like the madman who stands on the small stage.
This is the Church that lies at the Bottom of the Trench and it is open for business.
Though it remains empty, Kraken seems to be ready to deliver tonight’s sermon.
“Brothers, sisters and all you hybrid children… now we begin our march towards the inevitable downfall of society, that glorious moment when everything we have been shown to be true is delivered. And when all that has been held dear will be dragged into the trench where we will rule as kings. Once paupers, once vagrants, once considered undesirables… we will stand upon their heads as they have stood upon ours for all of this time.
But first, before us now awaits a collision of worlds, Latin America, Japan and the Undertow Society. Let them say their words, let them come up with their ideas for glory, let them even try to twist their minds around what I bring to the table, but let them both know this one thing I will wrap my arms around both of those worlds and drag them into the deep.”
Kraken moves about the empty church, even stepping over one of the pews onto the one just behind it. From his pocket he produces a golden apple and takes a bite savoring the taste of the forbidden fruit for a moment.
“Well, let’s not stop at letting them learn one thing. As Hanari Carnes would have you believe that climbing the apple tree is the most difficult part of the journey, reaching limb after limb is a struggle that causes pain from the scrapes and scratches from the bark. And each step is the result of only the hardest work paying off as you reach up and finally grab that apple.
But we know, brothers and sisters, that while the climb is painful and the reward is sweet… the fall is even more agonizing than anything else. You need to always worry about the fall, and in this case I’m going to show you Hanari. The pain is incredible when you fall and more pain is all that waits for you on the way down to the bottom… and there is no reward down here, just us waiting for you ready for the scraps.”
Kraken takes another bite of the apple and drops it to the ground as he walks by. A pale hand reaches down and pulls it close to their shadowy face. There are now other figures in the various pews around the once empty church as Kraken walks by.
“You’ll break, Hanari. Do you know how I know that? Eventually, everything breaks in this world. The only questions are how much force and pressure is needed to break you and how much screaming you’ll do when you do finally break. Let’s just hope for everyone that’s in attendance at WrestleWars’ sake that you’re not one of those people that make a mess of themselves when they finally do break.
Ring could get messy.
Ring will probably get messy regardless, but you know… not that sort of messy. But who knows, that other messy could be fun too. Depends on what you’re into really, I guess. I’m not here to judge.”
As Kraken heads back towards the front of the altar of the church and this time he leaps up onto the table and lays down on his back. It is at this point that there seem to be even more people sitting in the various pews, all of them dressed in black and cast in shadows. A few have brought popcorn, and others chew apples. Without even sitting up, Kraken continues to preach to his congregation which is getting more real by the second.
“And lord knows I’ve talked about shit my own fair share from this altar in the Church that Lies at the Bottom of the Trench. So, like I said, I’m not here to judge… I’m only here waiting at the bottom after you fall. But no matter how much shit you can produce, Hanari, this X-division is mine. That goes for you too, Kenji. Oh don’t think I’ve forgotten about you Kenji and your highfalutin ideas about hoisting this whole company up to a place of respectability and honor.
There is no way ever that the two of us can be friends when you’ve got an attitude like that, Kenji. And that’s a real shame, because I really do like to make friends everywhere I go. But you? Nah, we’re going to have to have a little discussion about all that respect and honor nonsense. See, I plan on doing the exact opposite as you. Instead of lifting this X-Division up into the glorious heights, I plan on dragging this whole entire X-Division down into the deepest depths. Let me let you in on a little secret since you’re looking to use the X-Division for unsavory characters, I am one of those unsavory characters. In fact, I am probably the unsavory-est of the unsavory characters you’ll ever lay your eyes on in your life.
When it comes right down to it, we sit on opposite sides of the coin, Kenji. Bad thing about coins, only one side can ever land face up.
Here’s another secret, I’ve had my eyes on you, your handler and every place you’ve touched down for a while now.”
Kraken snaps his fingers, still lying on his back, and the heads of the people in the pews lift up all at once. There are now more there than there have been this entire time.
“Look at me, divulging all the company secrets here tonight. It’s okay, my followers are like shadows the moment you shine a light on them they disappear into nothingness. But also, the moment you look away they appear just over your shoulder. They show up everywhere and gather information for me, they’re at the airports, they’re at the comedy clubs, hell they even work at steakhouses. All the best places have a ton of eyes watching.
And who, who would follow someone like me? Well, those that have made the fall to the bottom. Those who thought it couldn’t possibly get any worse, but of course it did for them and just when they think it’s never going to end that’s when they see the bright neon sign flashing in the distance. They see the beacon to the Church that Lies at the Bottom of the Trench, and boy do we ever lie down here at the bottom.
Speaking of which, time to collect.”
And as the collection plates are being passed out, how about an intermission?
Static.
The bright neon sign outside the theater proudly announces that tonight they were showing a double feature of two Clint Eastwood classics, ‘The Good, the Bad and the Ugly’ and ‘High Plains Drifter’. A couple of flickers of the neon lights and out walks two very special guests, Bobby Ray Willis and Doll E. Pardon. If there were a studio audience, they’d be cheering loudly right now as the duo make their way out of the old theater towards their car. Bobby Ray being the gentleman he is, opens the door for… oh no, wait nevermind he just walks past the passenger side and gets into his side.
The two slam their doors shut, but just as Bobby Ray is about to start the car up from the back pops up Kraken Kazmerick. Kraken has a wild look in his eyes, but honestly he never doesn’t have a crazed look in his eyes, as he slaps both Doll E. and Bobby Ray on the shoulders, getting their attention with a joyful scream and causing both of them nearly to have a heart attack in the process.
“If it’s not my two most bestest friends in all of professional wrestling! How the hell are the two of you on this fine evening?”
Kraken doesn’t grant them enough time for either of them to catch their breath before he continues.
“How was the double feature? I personally can’t stand Clint Eastwood movies, they all tend to be way too dry for my tastes. See me? I really like a movie with some liquid in it. Have you guys ever seen that movie with Kevin Costner, ‘Waterworld’? What an absolute classic.”
Finally, Bobby Ray has caught his breath and can respond.
BRW: “Holy shit Kraken, damn near gave me a heart attack. What are you doing in my truck?”
“Is that how you greet an old friend, seriously? I came to catch up with the both of you, how have you been? Why haven’t you been returning my calls, how’d you like to donate some money to my church? Plus, on top of all of that we have something in common. The both of us are taking part in three way matches at WrestleWar and I came to see if perhaps the two of us could trade strategies.”
Bobby Ray fires up the car, both he and Doll E. have looks on their faces as if they are being held hostage by a madman. Because they are. Doll E. is going to break the silence as Bobby Ray begins to drive away.
DOLL E: “Church, you say?”
“Yeah, believe it or not I took that money you paid me for you-know-what and bought myself a little property. We’re starting to attract followers, it’s really neat. You two should drop by sometime. Are we headed somewhere to eat? Is there an Arby's around here somewhere?"
BRW: “No, we’re not headed to Arby’s. We’re goi…”
At that point, Kraken begins to wave around a staple gun which stops Bobby Ray from saying anything further. Doll E. begins to white knuckle it in the passenger seat as Kraken turns his attention her way.
BRW: “Whoa, whoa. You don’t want to do that again, I’m driving here and that could really put a damper on both our chances at WrestleWars.”
“Say Dollface, you’d be down for some curly fries tonight right? Afterall, I’m pretty sure that you didn’t pick going to the Clint Eastwood movie snooze-a-thon and so it should be your choice where to go to eat. At least, if you were my girl I’d let you pick.”
Doll E’s head turns towards Bobby Ray and the two share a glance as Kraken smacks chewing gum between his teeth in an obnoxious way with a smirk on his face. She doesn’t even have to say a word before Bobby Ray gives a deep sigh and gives in.
BRW: “Fine, we’ll get some Arby’s, but you’ve got to promise that you’re not going to use that staple gun on me again.”
“This? Oh, I’d never. Safety first.”
Bobby Ray gives another sigh, but this time it’s a sigh of relief as Kraken lowers the staple gun down.
“On the other hand…”
And with that, Kraken raises up the staple gun so fast that Bobby Ray can’t turn his attention away and sure enough Kraken “CA-CHINGS” Bobby Ray right in the forehead once again! Doll E. screams in terror as Bobby Ray swerves the car while he jams on the break. Kraken braces for impact with maniacal laughter.
The car comes to a sudden stop, safely.
Kraken seems disappointed by this as the other two gasp wildly. Bobby Ray holding his forehead in pain and Doll E. holding onto the dashboard with both hands. Calmly, Kraken turns his head towards Doll E.
“You know what’s something I’ve been wondering lately? What does the E in Doll E. stand for?”
With that, we return to you to the scene before as this one breaks into static.
The plates have been collected which brings a smile to the madman’s lips. He’s back to standing now, standing behind his altar in front of the stained glass window with the depiction of a large underwater kraken pulling down the world.
“I know, I know… I know that you are all disappointed with the fact that I will not be partaking in the bloodbath that we were promised. Perhaps it was a desire for you all to see me make others bleed or perhaps even to watch me bleed, but don’t you worry my lil’ shadows.
This is still WrestleWars, this the big stage in Dallas, Texas. The crowd will be filled from rafters to rafters with so many of those who are close to falling to the bottom of the world. Bloodbath or no bloodbath, we will have the largest audience ever to witness the tentacles of the Undertow Society begin to wrap around the world. For some it’ll be just enough of a push to send them over the edge, imagine the converts then.
We’re going to need more seating in this place.
What’s that? What’s that you say?”
There are some subtle jeers and hisses of disapproval from those in the crowd, hell even a couple of the ones eating popcorn toss a few kernels in the direction of Kraken. He seems a little surprised by this, but he shrugs his shoulders and laughs it off.
“I understand, you grow restless and stir crazy. You want blood, like the denizens that filled the Roman Colosseum you heard the slight promise of violence and now want to see nothing less than beheadings now. Things change, plans change and we must adapt when things change. But, I must preach to you to restrain yourselves… you will have your blood, and believe you me, when it is time for blood I will be the one that stands before you all and I will be the one that holds up the thumb.
Blood is coming, but you will have to be patient. At WrestleWars I will become the number one contender to the X-Division title and before you know it, I will be the X-Division champion and when that happens… yes, you will have your blood. You will be able to fill your popcorn buckets with the blood that will flow.
How does that sound to you all?”
There are a few less hisses and jeers, but still there are some disapproving noises from the crowd of shadows in the pews. The smirk begins to disappear from the lips of Kraken as he thought he had these people in the palm of his hands.
“Fine.
If blood is all that you want. Blood is what you’ll get.”
From behind the altar Kraken pulls out the silver handled staple gun and he begins to wave it around like the madman that he is. A couple of the people in the pews move away quickly as Kraken steps out from behind the altar and down onto the floor.
“Blood is what you want? Blood is what you’ll get. Remember, those that have already fallen to the bottom know that the pain is never ending… this is nothing more than a mosquito bite. Blood is what you want then, fine you shall have blood.
My blood. For you.”
And with that, Kraken holds the staple gun to his own face and squeezes not just one time, but two times in rapid succession. Slowly he pulls the staple gun away as a trickle of blood begins to roll past the metal brackets sticking out of the flesh of his forehead. The smile returns to his face as Kraken drops to his knees holding his arms outwardly.
A few of the followers approach Kraken placing their hands onto his shoulders as the screen begins to warp and fade out.
We return you to your reality now.
The room is just bright enough from the lit candelabras that the few rows of wooden pews in this ancient small church can be seen to be completely empty. The entrance of this church is open and waiting for those to step in from the darkness as the pastor stands in front of his congregation of nothing but ghosts at this point.
That pastor happens to be Kraken Kamerick, who even in this dark room is wearing a pair of round sunglasses.
This is a place of worship for those just like the madman who stands on the small stage.
This is the Church that lies at the Bottom of the Trench and it is open for business.
Though it remains empty, Kraken seems to be ready to deliver tonight’s sermon.
“Brothers, sisters and all you hybrid children… now we begin our march towards the inevitable downfall of society, that glorious moment when everything we have been shown to be true is delivered. And when all that has been held dear will be dragged into the trench where we will rule as kings. Once paupers, once vagrants, once considered undesirables… we will stand upon their heads as they have stood upon ours for all of this time.
But first, before us now awaits a collision of worlds, Latin America, Japan and the Undertow Society. Let them say their words, let them come up with their ideas for glory, let them even try to twist their minds around what I bring to the table, but let them both know this one thing I will wrap my arms around both of those worlds and drag them into the deep.”
Kraken moves about the empty church, even stepping over one of the pews onto the one just behind it. From his pocket he produces a golden apple and takes a bite savoring the taste of the forbidden fruit for a moment.
“Well, let’s not stop at letting them learn one thing. As Hanari Carnes would have you believe that climbing the apple tree is the most difficult part of the journey, reaching limb after limb is a struggle that causes pain from the scrapes and scratches from the bark. And each step is the result of only the hardest work paying off as you reach up and finally grab that apple.
But we know, brothers and sisters, that while the climb is painful and the reward is sweet… the fall is even more agonizing than anything else. You need to always worry about the fall, and in this case I’m going to show you Hanari. The pain is incredible when you fall and more pain is all that waits for you on the way down to the bottom… and there is no reward down here, just us waiting for you ready for the scraps.”
Kraken takes another bite of the apple and drops it to the ground as he walks by. A pale hand reaches down and pulls it close to their shadowy face. There are now other figures in the various pews around the once empty church as Kraken walks by.
“You’ll break, Hanari. Do you know how I know that? Eventually, everything breaks in this world. The only questions are how much force and pressure is needed to break you and how much screaming you’ll do when you do finally break. Let’s just hope for everyone that’s in attendance at WrestleWars’ sake that you’re not one of those people that make a mess of themselves when they finally do break.
Ring could get messy.
Ring will probably get messy regardless, but you know… not that sort of messy. But who knows, that other messy could be fun too. Depends on what you’re into really, I guess. I’m not here to judge.”
As Kraken heads back towards the front of the altar of the church and this time he leaps up onto the table and lays down on his back. It is at this point that there seem to be even more people sitting in the various pews, all of them dressed in black and cast in shadows. A few have brought popcorn, and others chew apples. Without even sitting up, Kraken continues to preach to his congregation which is getting more real by the second.
“And lord knows I’ve talked about shit my own fair share from this altar in the Church that Lies at the Bottom of the Trench. So, like I said, I’m not here to judge… I’m only here waiting at the bottom after you fall. But no matter how much shit you can produce, Hanari, this X-division is mine. That goes for you too, Kenji. Oh don’t think I’ve forgotten about you Kenji and your highfalutin ideas about hoisting this whole company up to a place of respectability and honor.
There is no way ever that the two of us can be friends when you’ve got an attitude like that, Kenji. And that’s a real shame, because I really do like to make friends everywhere I go. But you? Nah, we’re going to have to have a little discussion about all that respect and honor nonsense. See, I plan on doing the exact opposite as you. Instead of lifting this X-Division up into the glorious heights, I plan on dragging this whole entire X-Division down into the deepest depths. Let me let you in on a little secret since you’re looking to use the X-Division for unsavory characters, I am one of those unsavory characters. In fact, I am probably the unsavory-est of the unsavory characters you’ll ever lay your eyes on in your life.
When it comes right down to it, we sit on opposite sides of the coin, Kenji. Bad thing about coins, only one side can ever land face up.
Here’s another secret, I’ve had my eyes on you, your handler and every place you’ve touched down for a while now.”
Kraken snaps his fingers, still lying on his back, and the heads of the people in the pews lift up all at once. There are now more there than there have been this entire time.
“Look at me, divulging all the company secrets here tonight. It’s okay, my followers are like shadows the moment you shine a light on them they disappear into nothingness. But also, the moment you look away they appear just over your shoulder. They show up everywhere and gather information for me, they’re at the airports, they’re at the comedy clubs, hell they even work at steakhouses. All the best places have a ton of eyes watching.
And who, who would follow someone like me? Well, those that have made the fall to the bottom. Those who thought it couldn’t possibly get any worse, but of course it did for them and just when they think it’s never going to end that’s when they see the bright neon sign flashing in the distance. They see the beacon to the Church that Lies at the Bottom of the Trench, and boy do we ever lie down here at the bottom.
Speaking of which, time to collect.”
And as the collection plates are being passed out, how about an intermission?
Static.
The bright neon sign outside the theater proudly announces that tonight they were showing a double feature of two Clint Eastwood classics, ‘The Good, the Bad and the Ugly’ and ‘High Plains Drifter’. A couple of flickers of the neon lights and out walks two very special guests, Bobby Ray Willis and Doll E. Pardon. If there were a studio audience, they’d be cheering loudly right now as the duo make their way out of the old theater towards their car. Bobby Ray being the gentleman he is, opens the door for… oh no, wait nevermind he just walks past the passenger side and gets into his side.
The two slam their doors shut, but just as Bobby Ray is about to start the car up from the back pops up Kraken Kazmerick. Kraken has a wild look in his eyes, but honestly he never doesn’t have a crazed look in his eyes, as he slaps both Doll E. and Bobby Ray on the shoulders, getting their attention with a joyful scream and causing both of them nearly to have a heart attack in the process.
“If it’s not my two most bestest friends in all of professional wrestling! How the hell are the two of you on this fine evening?”
Kraken doesn’t grant them enough time for either of them to catch their breath before he continues.
“How was the double feature? I personally can’t stand Clint Eastwood movies, they all tend to be way too dry for my tastes. See me? I really like a movie with some liquid in it. Have you guys ever seen that movie with Kevin Costner, ‘Waterworld’? What an absolute classic.”
Finally, Bobby Ray has caught his breath and can respond.
BRW: “Holy shit Kraken, damn near gave me a heart attack. What are you doing in my truck?”
“Is that how you greet an old friend, seriously? I came to catch up with the both of you, how have you been? Why haven’t you been returning my calls, how’d you like to donate some money to my church? Plus, on top of all of that we have something in common. The both of us are taking part in three way matches at WrestleWar and I came to see if perhaps the two of us could trade strategies.”
Bobby Ray fires up the car, both he and Doll E. have looks on their faces as if they are being held hostage by a madman. Because they are. Doll E. is going to break the silence as Bobby Ray begins to drive away.
DOLL E: “Church, you say?”
“Yeah, believe it or not I took that money you paid me for you-know-what and bought myself a little property. We’re starting to attract followers, it’s really neat. You two should drop by sometime. Are we headed somewhere to eat? Is there an Arby's around here somewhere?"
BRW: “No, we’re not headed to Arby’s. We’re goi…”
At that point, Kraken begins to wave around a staple gun which stops Bobby Ray from saying anything further. Doll E. begins to white knuckle it in the passenger seat as Kraken turns his attention her way.
BRW: “Whoa, whoa. You don’t want to do that again, I’m driving here and that could really put a damper on both our chances at WrestleWars.”
“Say Dollface, you’d be down for some curly fries tonight right? Afterall, I’m pretty sure that you didn’t pick going to the Clint Eastwood movie snooze-a-thon and so it should be your choice where to go to eat. At least, if you were my girl I’d let you pick.”
Doll E’s head turns towards Bobby Ray and the two share a glance as Kraken smacks chewing gum between his teeth in an obnoxious way with a smirk on his face. She doesn’t even have to say a word before Bobby Ray gives a deep sigh and gives in.
BRW: “Fine, we’ll get some Arby’s, but you’ve got to promise that you’re not going to use that staple gun on me again.”
“This? Oh, I’d never. Safety first.”
Bobby Ray gives another sigh, but this time it’s a sigh of relief as Kraken lowers the staple gun down.
“On the other hand…”
And with that, Kraken raises up the staple gun so fast that Bobby Ray can’t turn his attention away and sure enough Kraken “CA-CHINGS” Bobby Ray right in the forehead once again! Doll E. screams in terror as Bobby Ray swerves the car while he jams on the break. Kraken braces for impact with maniacal laughter.
The car comes to a sudden stop, safely.
Kraken seems disappointed by this as the other two gasp wildly. Bobby Ray holding his forehead in pain and Doll E. holding onto the dashboard with both hands. Calmly, Kraken turns his head towards Doll E.
“You know what’s something I’ve been wondering lately? What does the E in Doll E. stand for?”
With that, we return to you to the scene before as this one breaks into static.
The plates have been collected which brings a smile to the madman’s lips. He’s back to standing now, standing behind his altar in front of the stained glass window with the depiction of a large underwater kraken pulling down the world.
“I know, I know… I know that you are all disappointed with the fact that I will not be partaking in the bloodbath that we were promised. Perhaps it was a desire for you all to see me make others bleed or perhaps even to watch me bleed, but don’t you worry my lil’ shadows.
This is still WrestleWars, this the big stage in Dallas, Texas. The crowd will be filled from rafters to rafters with so many of those who are close to falling to the bottom of the world. Bloodbath or no bloodbath, we will have the largest audience ever to witness the tentacles of the Undertow Society begin to wrap around the world. For some it’ll be just enough of a push to send them over the edge, imagine the converts then.
We’re going to need more seating in this place.
What’s that? What’s that you say?”
There are some subtle jeers and hisses of disapproval from those in the crowd, hell even a couple of the ones eating popcorn toss a few kernels in the direction of Kraken. He seems a little surprised by this, but he shrugs his shoulders and laughs it off.
“I understand, you grow restless and stir crazy. You want blood, like the denizens that filled the Roman Colosseum you heard the slight promise of violence and now want to see nothing less than beheadings now. Things change, plans change and we must adapt when things change. But, I must preach to you to restrain yourselves… you will have your blood, and believe you me, when it is time for blood I will be the one that stands before you all and I will be the one that holds up the thumb.
Blood is coming, but you will have to be patient. At WrestleWars I will become the number one contender to the X-Division title and before you know it, I will be the X-Division champion and when that happens… yes, you will have your blood. You will be able to fill your popcorn buckets with the blood that will flow.
How does that sound to you all?”
There are a few less hisses and jeers, but still there are some disapproving noises from the crowd of shadows in the pews. The smirk begins to disappear from the lips of Kraken as he thought he had these people in the palm of his hands.
“Fine.
If blood is all that you want. Blood is what you’ll get.”
From behind the altar Kraken pulls out the silver handled staple gun and he begins to wave it around like the madman that he is. A couple of the people in the pews move away quickly as Kraken steps out from behind the altar and down onto the floor.
“Blood is what you want? Blood is what you’ll get. Remember, those that have already fallen to the bottom know that the pain is never ending… this is nothing more than a mosquito bite. Blood is what you want then, fine you shall have blood.
My blood. For you.”
And with that, Kraken holds the staple gun to his own face and squeezes not just one time, but two times in rapid succession. Slowly he pulls the staple gun away as a trickle of blood begins to roll past the metal brackets sticking out of the flesh of his forehead. The smile returns to his face as Kraken drops to his knees holding his arms outwardly.
A few of the followers approach Kraken placing their hands onto his shoulders as the screen begins to warp and fade out.
We return you to your reality now.