Post by Bobby Ray Willis on Dec 28, 2023 0:02:09 GMT -5
There seems to be some Brawl backstage fallout going on.
Eyes fly wide open.
Those are the eyes of Cooper Pardon, and those eyes are almost comically bloodshotted due to being sprayed in the eyes by pepper spray. He tries to blink, but pain shoots his face as a number of people are looking down at him from where he’s laying on the ground. A couple of those people happen to be Bobby Ray and Coop’s sister, Doll E. All of the others have looks of concern, but Bobby Ray is playing it cool.
BRW: “Whoa, whoa there. The doctor is saying that you probably shouldn’t blink or move your eyes for the next twenty four to forty eight hours. So, open or shut buddy… make your choice.”
Cooper has a confused look on his face as his eyes remain wide open.
BRW: “Oh, it looks like he’s going with the eyes wide open option. Probably not a good idea, but we’re going to follow his lead, everyone. Doll E, we’re going to need a lot more milk pronto and can we get a towel or something? He’s really covered in a lot of stuff here and honestly, it’s really gross.”
Bobby Ray leans really down close to Coop’s face.
BRW: “Coop, way to take that pepper spray into the eyes like a champ. I thought I yelled duck, but you must not have heard it over all the commotion taking place in the ring. Also, had I known that Jenny was going to put you through that table I probably would have stuck around a little bit longer and bailed you out. But, honestly that was just wham-bam-thank you ma’am fast.
Hey, could you do me a favor? If your sister asks, tell her that neither of us were trying to look at what color bra Jenny was wearing tonight. She’s still a little pissed off at me about the whole PETA chick thing and tonight is probably going to make things a little worse. I got your back, you got mine. Deal?
Don’t nod or anything, your neck is wrapped pretty tight there in that collar and the doctor doesn’t want you to make any sudden movements. I’ll take a hand squeeze or something, if you can squeeze your hand.”
Coop squeezes Bobby Ray’s hand which gives Bobby Ray a moment of pause.
BRW: “Good, good. I was worried I’d have to watch your sister change your diaper or something for the rest of your life. That was a wicked table shot though, you really drove through that thing at full speed.”
Just then Cooper blinks, which causes him to moan in pain.
BRW: “Oh, he just blinked!”
It turns into an ER situation as Doll E. moves over quickly and without even giving a moment's warning she pours a stream of milk right into the eyes of Cooper. Cooper moans in even more pain as milk goes everywhere, including mixing with the spongecake that’s still stuck to his body. Bobby Ray throws a towel down and pats as well as he can, Doll E shrugs her shoulders and heads away. As Bobby Ray finishes up with the towel, Cooper is the one who now is trying to get a word in with his client.
COOP: “Bobby, could you do me a favor?”
Bobby Ray looks a little put out about the whole doing a favor thing, but given the circumstances and the fact that Doll E is sitting right there giving Bobby the death stare, he nods.
COOP: “Could I recover in the Eastwood-atorium?”
BRW: “That’s a pretty big ask.”
COOP: “Please?”
Bobby Ray looks a little confused as to what to do right now, he looks towards Doll E and then back towards Cooper.
BRW: “We’ll see what we can work out. Why do you close your eyes now and try to get some rest because Doll E is almost out of milk and honestly, we need to hose you down before getting you back home. There is sure a hell of a lot of spongecake on you.”
Cooper rests his eyes as Bobby Ray and Doll E stand up and walk away and the scene fades to black.
An unknown amount of time passes by, but enough time has passed by that when Cooper’s eyes open up again he’s no longer backstage at Monday Night Brawl, the A show, and he’s no longer covered in spongecake or has red marks all over his face.
There still is a neck brace around him as he sits up with a grimace on his face looking around to see if he’s been resting in the Eastwood-atorium as he requested. However, the room is too dark for him to make anything out other than there are posters on the walls.
A satisfied smile grows across his face…
…until the light turns on and standing there is Bobby Ray wearing nothing but a pair of assless chaps and glistening in baby oil. The WGWF censors must have been waiting for this moment the entire time as they are quick to blur anything that might seem inappropriate. Bobby Ray looks a little shocked as he covers up quickly putting his Stetson hat over his junk at a moment’s notice.
COOP: “What’s going on? Why am I in my room?”
Bobby Ray looks around looking for a good answer.
COOP: “And what are those posters on the wall?”
Bobby Ray continues to search for anything closely resembling a good answer.
COOP: “Is that… a movie poster for Dune?”
Bobby Ray still cannot find anything, so he’s going to go with the truth.
BRW: “Yeah, so we decided not to put you into my Clint-sanctuary because you probably could not have handled that much Eastwood in your condition. So, instead we thought that posters of Timothée Chalamet would be more your speed right now. So, yeah he’s in Dune and Wonka and some other things… we’re calling this your Chalamet-asium.
You can start here and then you can slowly work your way up to the raw power of Eastwood. Speaking of which, I just snuck in here because your sister thought she left her phone in here and needed that because I was about to do an hour myself in Eastwood-La.
So, just lay back down and think about all the Timothée you possibly can and maybe your neck will feel better in the morning. And when you feel up to it, we’ll work on some code words or hand signals or something for next time we’re in the ring with Jenny Myst.”
Bobby Ray turns his back towards Cooper, and sure enough those chaps are assless and also those WGWF censors are still on their game. Bobby Ray walks out of the room as Cooper falls back down on the bed looking up at the Chalamet poster from his Bleu de Chanel commercial, and the lights go back off.
Time has passed.
Cooper is no longer wearing the neck brace.
Perhaps the Chalamet-asium worked?
But we’ve got other problems now.
We’ve got big problems.
Because someone left an EASY BUTTON on the table and it has caused poor Cooper to crawl into the nearest corner with his arms wrapped around his knees and the look of horror is plastered across his face.
Bobby Ray and Doll E sit next to each other looking over the Easy Button on the table with confused looks on their faces at the reaction that Cooper is having.
DOLL E: “Seriously? It’s just a button that you push, Coop. Nothing bad is going to happen here.”
BRW: “Yeah man, nothing bad is going to happen when you push the button. All you have to do is think about something that you want to be done, push the button and boom! It’s done for you just like that. Here, let me demonstrate.”
As Bobby Ray goes to push the button Coop backs up a little bit further into the corner looking from side to side. With a quick motion Bobby Ray hits the button which says “that was easy!” and then Bobby Ray places his hand onto the chest to Doll E. She does not look amused.
DOLL E: “For the tenth time, pushing that button is not going to make my chest any larger!”
BRW: “A man can dream.”
Completely dismissing what Bobby Ray said, Doll E turns towards her brother talking in a calming manner.
DOLL E: “Coop, seriously there is nothing to be afraid of here. There are no clowns hiding in the closets, there is no sponge cake in the fridge and nobody is going to show up and put you through a table just because a button is pushed.
I promise.”
Coop looks to have calmed down a little bit at this point, his breathing has gone shallow and he has placed his hands on the ground allowing for his legs to relax. Without saying another word Doll E pulls her brother back up to his feet and looking directly at the red Easy Button. Doll E nods and slides her hand over on top of the Easy Button, she gives a little smile and then presses the button which again says “that was easy!” loudly. Coop winces at first, but then opens both eyes up slowly and looks around.
DOLL E: “See, all you have to do is think about what you want and push the button.”
COOP: “So… what did you think of?”
Doll E gives Bobby Ray a complete look up and down, before she stands up without saying a word and walks off. Bobby Ray sits there for a moment and then after a few seconds he hits the table with an ear to ear smile.
BRW: “Oh, hell yeah! My junk is about to become huge. Like Godzilla attacking Tokyo, huge. Like Jack climbing the Beanstalk, massive. I thought she was going to wish something bad to happen to me, but no way. Everything’s bigger in Texas!”
Bobby Ray stands up in excitement, thankfully he’s wearing pants at this point and he chases after in the same direction that Doll E went. This just leaves Cooper standing there looking at the Easy Button sitting right there on the table, sweat dripping from his greasy hair as he just stares at it for a few moments.
His hand slowly reaches out, trembling the entire time.
Trembling it hovers just above the red button on the table.
He licks his lips, and nervously darts his eyes from one corner of the room to another.
Coop takes a long deep breath and presses down.
Do we fade to black?
Not forever, because Bobby Ray in his black Stetson hat sits there on a couch. A carton of Sunny D in his hands and a disappointed look across his face. With a deep sigh and without making eye contact forward, he speaks.
BRW: “Disappointment. Like a blistering slap across the face it hits hard, doesn’t it? In one second you go from thinking you’re about to drill the Kola superdeep borehole to wondering why you're sitting on a couch drinking Sunny D. Am I right?
Utter and crushing disappointment. You’ve felt it too, Urijah Cain. From your debut victory a little less than a month ago, to eating a deadly snakebite the next time out. You’ve gone through it as well as I have. You thought this was going to be easy, didn’t you? You thought you’d be well on your way to winning gold around these parts. But guess what? Despite what you might have seen on TV you can’t just push a little easy button in the WGWF and get gold. I reckon you’re going to be desperate against me then, try and send a message or something.
Well good luck, and ‘member… between the two of us, only I am the one that’s punched their ticket. See you soon, black sheep.”
With that, we fade to black.
Eyes fly wide open.
Those are the eyes of Cooper Pardon, and those eyes are almost comically bloodshotted due to being sprayed in the eyes by pepper spray. He tries to blink, but pain shoots his face as a number of people are looking down at him from where he’s laying on the ground. A couple of those people happen to be Bobby Ray and Coop’s sister, Doll E. All of the others have looks of concern, but Bobby Ray is playing it cool.
BRW: “Whoa, whoa there. The doctor is saying that you probably shouldn’t blink or move your eyes for the next twenty four to forty eight hours. So, open or shut buddy… make your choice.”
Cooper has a confused look on his face as his eyes remain wide open.
BRW: “Oh, it looks like he’s going with the eyes wide open option. Probably not a good idea, but we’re going to follow his lead, everyone. Doll E, we’re going to need a lot more milk pronto and can we get a towel or something? He’s really covered in a lot of stuff here and honestly, it’s really gross.”
Bobby Ray leans really down close to Coop’s face.
BRW: “Coop, way to take that pepper spray into the eyes like a champ. I thought I yelled duck, but you must not have heard it over all the commotion taking place in the ring. Also, had I known that Jenny was going to put you through that table I probably would have stuck around a little bit longer and bailed you out. But, honestly that was just wham-bam-thank you ma’am fast.
Hey, could you do me a favor? If your sister asks, tell her that neither of us were trying to look at what color bra Jenny was wearing tonight. She’s still a little pissed off at me about the whole PETA chick thing and tonight is probably going to make things a little worse. I got your back, you got mine. Deal?
Don’t nod or anything, your neck is wrapped pretty tight there in that collar and the doctor doesn’t want you to make any sudden movements. I’ll take a hand squeeze or something, if you can squeeze your hand.”
Coop squeezes Bobby Ray’s hand which gives Bobby Ray a moment of pause.
BRW: “Good, good. I was worried I’d have to watch your sister change your diaper or something for the rest of your life. That was a wicked table shot though, you really drove through that thing at full speed.”
Just then Cooper blinks, which causes him to moan in pain.
BRW: “Oh, he just blinked!”
It turns into an ER situation as Doll E. moves over quickly and without even giving a moment's warning she pours a stream of milk right into the eyes of Cooper. Cooper moans in even more pain as milk goes everywhere, including mixing with the spongecake that’s still stuck to his body. Bobby Ray throws a towel down and pats as well as he can, Doll E shrugs her shoulders and heads away. As Bobby Ray finishes up with the towel, Cooper is the one who now is trying to get a word in with his client.
COOP: “Bobby, could you do me a favor?”
Bobby Ray looks a little put out about the whole doing a favor thing, but given the circumstances and the fact that Doll E is sitting right there giving Bobby the death stare, he nods.
COOP: “Could I recover in the Eastwood-atorium?”
BRW: “That’s a pretty big ask.”
COOP: “Please?”
Bobby Ray looks a little confused as to what to do right now, he looks towards Doll E and then back towards Cooper.
BRW: “We’ll see what we can work out. Why do you close your eyes now and try to get some rest because Doll E is almost out of milk and honestly, we need to hose you down before getting you back home. There is sure a hell of a lot of spongecake on you.”
Cooper rests his eyes as Bobby Ray and Doll E stand up and walk away and the scene fades to black.
An unknown amount of time passes by, but enough time has passed by that when Cooper’s eyes open up again he’s no longer backstage at Monday Night Brawl, the A show, and he’s no longer covered in spongecake or has red marks all over his face.
There still is a neck brace around him as he sits up with a grimace on his face looking around to see if he’s been resting in the Eastwood-atorium as he requested. However, the room is too dark for him to make anything out other than there are posters on the walls.
A satisfied smile grows across his face…
…until the light turns on and standing there is Bobby Ray wearing nothing but a pair of assless chaps and glistening in baby oil. The WGWF censors must have been waiting for this moment the entire time as they are quick to blur anything that might seem inappropriate. Bobby Ray looks a little shocked as he covers up quickly putting his Stetson hat over his junk at a moment’s notice.
COOP: “What’s going on? Why am I in my room?”
Bobby Ray looks around looking for a good answer.
COOP: “And what are those posters on the wall?”
Bobby Ray continues to search for anything closely resembling a good answer.
COOP: “Is that… a movie poster for Dune?”
Bobby Ray still cannot find anything, so he’s going to go with the truth.
BRW: “Yeah, so we decided not to put you into my Clint-sanctuary because you probably could not have handled that much Eastwood in your condition. So, instead we thought that posters of Timothée Chalamet would be more your speed right now. So, yeah he’s in Dune and Wonka and some other things… we’re calling this your Chalamet-asium.
You can start here and then you can slowly work your way up to the raw power of Eastwood. Speaking of which, I just snuck in here because your sister thought she left her phone in here and needed that because I was about to do an hour myself in Eastwood-La.
So, just lay back down and think about all the Timothée you possibly can and maybe your neck will feel better in the morning. And when you feel up to it, we’ll work on some code words or hand signals or something for next time we’re in the ring with Jenny Myst.”
Bobby Ray turns his back towards Cooper, and sure enough those chaps are assless and also those WGWF censors are still on their game. Bobby Ray walks out of the room as Cooper falls back down on the bed looking up at the Chalamet poster from his Bleu de Chanel commercial, and the lights go back off.
Time has passed.
Cooper is no longer wearing the neck brace.
Perhaps the Chalamet-asium worked?
But we’ve got other problems now.
We’ve got big problems.
Because someone left an EASY BUTTON on the table and it has caused poor Cooper to crawl into the nearest corner with his arms wrapped around his knees and the look of horror is plastered across his face.
Bobby Ray and Doll E sit next to each other looking over the Easy Button on the table with confused looks on their faces at the reaction that Cooper is having.
DOLL E: “Seriously? It’s just a button that you push, Coop. Nothing bad is going to happen here.”
BRW: “Yeah man, nothing bad is going to happen when you push the button. All you have to do is think about something that you want to be done, push the button and boom! It’s done for you just like that. Here, let me demonstrate.”
As Bobby Ray goes to push the button Coop backs up a little bit further into the corner looking from side to side. With a quick motion Bobby Ray hits the button which says “that was easy!” and then Bobby Ray places his hand onto the chest to Doll E. She does not look amused.
DOLL E: “For the tenth time, pushing that button is not going to make my chest any larger!”
BRW: “A man can dream.”
Completely dismissing what Bobby Ray said, Doll E turns towards her brother talking in a calming manner.
DOLL E: “Coop, seriously there is nothing to be afraid of here. There are no clowns hiding in the closets, there is no sponge cake in the fridge and nobody is going to show up and put you through a table just because a button is pushed.
I promise.”
Coop looks to have calmed down a little bit at this point, his breathing has gone shallow and he has placed his hands on the ground allowing for his legs to relax. Without saying another word Doll E pulls her brother back up to his feet and looking directly at the red Easy Button. Doll E nods and slides her hand over on top of the Easy Button, she gives a little smile and then presses the button which again says “that was easy!” loudly. Coop winces at first, but then opens both eyes up slowly and looks around.
DOLL E: “See, all you have to do is think about what you want and push the button.”
COOP: “So… what did you think of?”
Doll E gives Bobby Ray a complete look up and down, before she stands up without saying a word and walks off. Bobby Ray sits there for a moment and then after a few seconds he hits the table with an ear to ear smile.
BRW: “Oh, hell yeah! My junk is about to become huge. Like Godzilla attacking Tokyo, huge. Like Jack climbing the Beanstalk, massive. I thought she was going to wish something bad to happen to me, but no way. Everything’s bigger in Texas!”
Bobby Ray stands up in excitement, thankfully he’s wearing pants at this point and he chases after in the same direction that Doll E went. This just leaves Cooper standing there looking at the Easy Button sitting right there on the table, sweat dripping from his greasy hair as he just stares at it for a few moments.
His hand slowly reaches out, trembling the entire time.
Trembling it hovers just above the red button on the table.
He licks his lips, and nervously darts his eyes from one corner of the room to another.
Coop takes a long deep breath and presses down.
Do we fade to black?
Not forever, because Bobby Ray in his black Stetson hat sits there on a couch. A carton of Sunny D in his hands and a disappointed look across his face. With a deep sigh and without making eye contact forward, he speaks.
BRW: “Disappointment. Like a blistering slap across the face it hits hard, doesn’t it? In one second you go from thinking you’re about to drill the Kola superdeep borehole to wondering why you're sitting on a couch drinking Sunny D. Am I right?
Utter and crushing disappointment. You’ve felt it too, Urijah Cain. From your debut victory a little less than a month ago, to eating a deadly snakebite the next time out. You’ve gone through it as well as I have. You thought this was going to be easy, didn’t you? You thought you’d be well on your way to winning gold around these parts. But guess what? Despite what you might have seen on TV you can’t just push a little easy button in the WGWF and get gold. I reckon you’re going to be desperate against me then, try and send a message or something.
Well good luck, and ‘member… between the two of us, only I am the one that’s punched their ticket. See you soon, black sheep.”
With that, we fade to black.