Post by themeccaofmanhood on Jan 20, 2023 12:13:05 GMT -5
*Old Glory waves across the screen. The majestic red, white, and blue fluttering, with drums wrapping out softly in the background give a feeling that even the proudest Antifa member would be filled with a sense of patriotism. The drumming gives way to the sound of a hammer banging against the wood. The stars and bars begin to fade away to an overhead shot of a small construction site. The shot moves in closer to reveal The Marvelous One hammering a board.
His white shirt is covered in sweat, revealing his popping pecs, hey, wet t-shirts don't just work for busty women. While staring at his chest like the pervert you are, you notice it says "Habitat For Humanity" on it. The Bod God drives a nail in with a single swing of his hammer and then steps back to admire his work.
The President of Pump just so happens to notice the camera and turns to face it. With a smile, the Big Natty Daddy places the hammer into his tool belt that hugs his hips in a way Atara Themia fantasizes about at night while that two-pump-chump James Raven wiggles around on top of her. *
Hello Constituents, as you can see The Marvelous One is out here putting in the work, and putting his money where his mouth is to MAKE AMERICA MARVELOUS!
Unlike the women of the Strader clan, who only put their mouths where the money is. But they are Canadians, and while many other politicians think it is our neighbors to the south who have been damaging America, I know for a fact it is the Canadians. They blatantly imitate America and do a very poor imitation at that. The CFL, Canadian Bacon, sketch comedy shows, Niagara Falls, and don't even get me started on their music.
However, I'm not here to talk about how bad Canada is, they speak for themselves on that account. Verbally tearing down another country will do nothing to M.A.M, Make America Marvelous. No, that starts at home, not MY home specifically, because it is amazingly marvelous, I'm referring to the home of the general we, America.
As you can see, I'm here building a home for a single mother who couldn't keep her legs closed in some trap house, and had more than just a needle shoved into her.
*In the background of the shot, a woman is walking by and hears what The Titan of Tenacity is saying. She is clearly shocked as she freezes in place with her jaw hanging open. The Bod God feels her eyes on him and looks over his shoulder to see her.
The Mecca of Manhood flashes his pearly whites at her and then moves to stand beside her. TM1 put his arm around her, never offering to take the 2x4 from her hands. *
This is the poor unfortunate, unwed, uneducated, and unkempt woman for whom I'm single-handedly building this house.
*The woman looks around at all the other people working on the house, and then down at the board still in her hands that The President of Pump hasn't helped with. *
This poor lady has never had anyone to show her a life that could be considered Marvelous. This poor woman has never known anything but poverty and despair in her life. She, like so many other Americans, needs someone to take her under their wing and show her that life can be so much more.
With the right mentor, a proper work ethic, some education, diet, exercise, and the right leadership in the White House, this unfortunate soul could achieve financial milestones she otherwise would have never imagined. If I'm elected….
No.
WHEN!
When I am elected I will take a sink-or-swim approach to individuals like this lady here. I will cut unemployment benefits, welfare benefits, disability benefits, SSI benefits, Medicare, and Medicaid. These people will have to learn to be productive members of society. I will force the lazy and unproductive to find their inner Mecca of Manhood, or well, in this case, Mecca of Womanhood. They will have no other option but to pull themselves up by their bootstraps.
*The Abdominal Adonis squeezes the woman tighter in the side hug and looks down at her with a growing smile. She looks up at him with a look of shock and disgust. The Bod God shoots her a wink and looks back at the camera. *
This is what building back better really looks like. When the White House is turned into the Mansion of Marvelousness, people just like this lady here will be forced from poverty, and may even achieve middle-class status.
*The King of Quads looks back at her, but her eyes have never left his face. The Lord of Lats assumes she is giving lustfully at his jawline which is so sharp it can cut tomatoes. *
Just imagine everything you'll accomplish when I'm in the oval office. Just imagine, you could afford the internet. You could actually pay for your streaming subscriptions and not bum Netflix and Hulu passwords from hard-working taxpayers. I even bet that if you put in some overtime you could afford a certified pre-owned vehicle and maybe even an above-ground pool. No more J.D. Byrider or public pools at community centers for you.
*The woman lets out a frustrated grunt and drops the board. The 2x4 lands right on the Tribal Chief of Traps toes. *
AAAAGGGGHHH!!!
*The Emperor of Ego begins hopping on one foot while holding his now injured foot. The frustrated woman has had all she can take of the Miami Muscle Machine and storms off. The Marvelous One stops hopping up and down as he gingerly puts his foot down. He watches the woman walk away, and slowly shakes his head. *
Unfortunately, some people are comfortable in their mediocrity. Comfort is a slow death, and only through being uncomfortable can you grow. If you refuse to grow, if you refuse to become Marvelous, well then, we'll just send you to Canada with the rest of the underachieving schmucks.
Vote Mike Mason in 2024, and together you will watch as I single handily Make America Marvelous.
*The political ad commercial fades away and a director is heard shouting, “CUT!”. The Mecca of Manhood takes his tool belt off and lays it on a sawhorse. The Bod God pulls his shirt off revealing his glistening torso and you can audibly hear women begin to ovulate as he wrings the sweat from his shirt before tossing it onto the saw horse with his belt.
The Commander and Chief of Chiseled Physics picks up a 2x6 board and begins examining it. He slowly turns it in his hands and looks it up and down *
This board really makes me think of Samantha Voxx, you know, a real carpenter's dream. Flat as a board, and has never been screwed. But, that is going to change at Brawl Sammy girl, because I am going to screw you. I am going to put you in the position every woman dreams about being in, flat on your back with me on top of you. Then I’m going to screw you hard, in front of everyone in the Velvet Rabbit, and everyone watching Brawl at home.
Everyone will be gasping as they watch me make you moan in pain because I’m too big for you to handle. You’ll get screwed, and laid all at the same time. I’ll pick you up, and then slam you down onto the mat with Simply Marvelous, and screw all your hopes and dreams of being Intercontinental champion.
*The Hardbody Handyman releases the board and it immediately falls flat onto the ground. The Bod God shakes his head in disappointment at the board before looking back to the camera. *
Voxx, another way this board reminds me of you, is that you cannot stand on your own. You need other stiff boards around you to hold you up. You lean on others to support you and make you stronger, instead of standing strong on your own two feet. You are someone that I will probably help build a home for in a year or two, just like the poor unfortunate woman I am serving today. The Mecca of Manhood on the other hand, well the Marvelous One will kick his two feet up on his chaise lounge in his massively marvelous mansion.
*The Big Natty Daddy steps to the side and picks up a 6x6 board and looks it over, and then begins to curl it. The Bishop of Biceps gets a wicked pump and looks quite vascular as his muscles swell. *
The Marvelous One knows all about laying the big wood, and he knows all about being the weight-bearing beam that holds everything together. I held together the two-time NCAA champion Miami Hurricanes, I held together the IBFF when I was sweeping the Olympias, and now I am unbeaten in the WGWF, never once has the Bod God been pinned or submitted.
What have you done Samantha? Your biggest claim to fame is finishing in the sweet sixteen of the World Series of Wrestling, that’s about as impressive as being the biggest kernel of corn in a giant turd. Baseball sucks and is for losers, and that tournament was full of losers. Xavier Lux, more like Xavier Sucks, and he finished fourth, so what’s that say about you that you couldn’t even crack to the top ten Voxx?
I know exactly what it says about you, it says you are happy with mediocrity. You are happy just getting back, sitting back, and collecting a paycheck. Let me ask, what does a fairie need with a championship of any kind, especially a wrestling championship? What good will the Intercontinental championship, along with the money and fame that accompanies it do you in the middle of your spooky forest?
*The Messiah of Muscle drops the board, taking care to toss it in front of his feet as he already has a booboo on his toe and doesn’t want to risk another. The Commander and Chief of Calves then steps up onto the board as a bit of a platform. *
Samantha, once more I draw a correlation between you and a board. You, like this beam, will be a step upon which I stand to go higher and higher. Look at the state of WGWF, it is in shambles. With worse leadership than the White House and more infighting than the Senate, WGWF is heading down the toilet faster than a pre-workout dump. This place needs real leadership, it needs someone to make it Marvelous.
Who better to do that than the Marvelous One?
I will pull WGWF up by their bootstraps because, with an over-the-hill clout chaser, and an over-hyped seven who thinks he is a ten in charge, this place has been going down faster than a frat girl after ladies' night at the local bar. The people standing at the top of WGWF are a laughing stock with a grease monkey toilet cleaner who keeps getting lucky and his main challenger being an Oakland Raiders washout. THE OAKLAND RAIDERS FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!
We can’t have an Al Davis disciple as the face of the company.
*The Father of Facial Features points at his beautiful, face, the product of a careful skin care regimen. *
This is the face that runs the place. This is the face that sponsors want on their products and on advertising posters. I am what WGWF needs, and that Intercontinental championship is what I NEED.
*The Boca Badboy stops pointing at his handsome face and gives a “Steel Blue” type stare. *
Voxx, I know you think of yourself as some supernatural witch or something, well drop the natural and change that W to a B and that is exactly what I think you are. So, go ahead and sacrifice your eye of Nutella, and vibrating tongue toy to whatever supernatural force you believe in, but it won’t change the outcome of Brawl.
Voxx, you will be the one who is sacrificed at the altar, the altar to the Mecca of Manhood. You will be some of the extra fat is trimmed away. I don't mean literal fat, you're only a hundred and fifteen pounds for crying out loud, there really should be weight minimums in this sport, because Voxx is nothing but a little peanut, and at Brawl when I screw you, Samantha, I'm going to bust a nut.
*Another volunteer who was walking past in the background begins to chuckle. The Mecca of Manhood looks over his shoulder at him and the volunteer runs off. *
Samantha Voxx, nothing more than a goth THOT. You need to connect the dots. You can't hit heavy squats. Only here cause you swallow whole brats. Probably got your spot through a casting lot. You're going to be a limited appearance, like a Marvel One-Shot. Thinking changing your look will earn you the top spot. Na girl, you just missed the plot. World Series of Wrestling was the best you got.
*The Deltoid Deity steps down from the 6x6 as his cocky grin changes to a stern look. *
Samantha Voxx, I'm cleaning house and it's time to take the trash out. I'm building my empire back bigger and better. I will surpass all expectations, even with those expectations set at the highest level possible. I will show everyone why I am….
SIMPLY MARVELOUS!
*The Marvelous One hits his super awesome pose, but as he does hears someone say “Ese es el gringo racista que casi mata al tío del Cholo.”. The Bod God stops posing and looks over at the landscaping crew to see four latino men starring him down. Mason steps backward off the board, all while keeping his eyes on the crew.
“Vamos a joder a ese idiota racista.”, one of the crew says. The four of them nod their heads at each other and rush towards The Mecca of Manhood. Mason bends over and picks up the 6x6 as they rush him. Mason swings the board up onto his shoulder and throws it like a javelin at the group. The massive piece of pine hits one of the crew members in the chest and takes him out. This causes the other three to pause for a moment.
“Cortaremos y destriparemos este agujero del culo.”, the defacto group leader says. The three of them all nod at each other and then pull out their box cutters. The three day laborers begin heading toward The Titan of Tenacity.
Mason grabs a hammer from his tool belt that hangs on the saw horse. Mason turns and runs up the stairs to where the second floor is supposed to be but is currently just a platform. Mason stops, and as the first of the three comes up the stairs Mason smashes his wrist with the hammer, shattering his wrist, and causing him to drop the box cutter. Mason then grabs him by the shirt and throws him from the second floor to the ground below.
The King of Quads turns and thrusts kick the third day laborers, knocking him back and into the fourth laborer, and sending both of them tumbling down the stairs. As the two laborers lay in a heap at the bottom of the stairs, The Big Natty Daddy saunters down the stairs.
The two men begin to get to their feet, and as they do Mason picks up a shovel. The first laborer to his feet is met with a whack to the side of the head with the shovel. The fourth and final man sees The Marvelous One standing with the shovel on his shoulder and begins begging for mercy.
“Por favor, por favor, no, lo siento. Lo siento muchísimo.”, he begs.
The Monument to Masculinity takes a step back and holds out his hand as if allowing the laborer to go free. As the day laborer gets to his feet Mason snarls and grips the shovel as if he is going to swing it. “OH, MIERDA!” the laborer screams before running away. The Bod God watches as the laborer runs, and steps on a rake head. Stepping on the head of the rake causes the handle to catapult up and smack the laborer between the eyes, the force of which knocks the laborer to the ground and loopy.
The Abdominal Adonis shakes his head and laughs slightly. *
That’s what happens when mediocres come against Marvelousness. The same thing that will happen to Voxx, Cholo, and anyone else who gets in the way of me making WGWF, and America Marvelous.
*The Mecca of Manhood slams the head of the shovel into the ground and winks with a smile. Climax. *