The Yellow Brick Road (Buster Gloves vs. Bam Miller)
Jan 13, 2023 15:21:55 GMT -5
"The Peoples GOAT" James Raven and TheNewBreed like this
Post by Buster Gloves on Jan 13, 2023 15:21:55 GMT -5
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The fuse is lit.
Make no mistake, when a man stands alone against an army, he loses. But when an army stands against an army, there’s a fighting chance. A month ago, I drew first blood against Chronic Chris Page and his Enterprise. I did what dozens of other wrestlers could not do last year. I put the man on his back. We dabbled in the forbidden and danced in the abyss. But I was the only one who came out victorious.
The loss must have been humiliating, because not long after that he threw a hissy fit and tried to quit the XWF. It was like he’d never lost a match before. Most people dream about situations like that, but I didn’t want to fight my boss. When I was called upon to face one of the legends of this business, I answered that call, and rose to the occasion. I won. I beat him. And that can never be taken away from me. But this isn’t about Chris Page. Not everything is about Page!
No conflict burns as brightly as a holy war. Mine is with the entire CCPE, a group of entitled, arrogant, narcissists that think they can just pimp-walk into any arena, any city, any federation and take over. Just because they have gold in their teeth, it doesn’t mean they’re invincible. Every one of the dirty dozen goons in their ranks rode the coattails of their washed-up leader. They cut the line. They took shortcuts. And they pissed-off a LOT of folks in the process. There’s been enough talk. It's time for action. It's time to show the world, and the CCPE, that they don’t own the show.
I won’t stand for this takeover. I won’t be intimidated. I won’t be bullied. It's time for all of us to band together, to rise up and show that they aren’t gods. They aren’t superhuman. They bleed like men. And if they bleed, they can die.
Two weeks ago, at the West Coast Rumble, I promised that there were others like me, willing to join the cause and strike hard at the scaley underbelly of the twelve-headed snake. We’ve already made our first move behind the scenes, but CCPE hasn’t realized it. When they do, this will become a full-scale war. I promise you that. I made a few promises at the Rumble and it’s time I start delivering on them.
CCPE has the numbers, for now, but there are SEVEN of us that have joined the rebellion against them. I cut off the head of the snake when I beat Chris Page. And now the fuse burns. Next, we rip out the heart and blow the whole thing to shambles. Once we take away the determination and the drive for them to stay united, you’ll see signs of weakness. They will rot from the inside out. Their ranks will dwindle. And all will be right in the world.
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The bartender approaches the disheveled man at the bar. “What can I get for you? Miller Lite’s are 2 for 1 until 6.”
“Gross. Gimme a Yuengling.”
“Sure thing." He says as he starts pouring a pint from the tap. “Not a fan of Miller Lite?”
“Hell nah. I mean, I know people who think drinking that piss water is like living the High Life, but I’m a no-good drunk and I wouldn’t drink that sh*t if my teeth were on fire. Miller Time sucks.”
“You’d be surprised how many people drink it though.”
“Oh no doubt. Miller gets the job done. It’ll get you buzzed if that’s what you want. It’s cheap. It has no flavor. You can literally find it anywhere. It’s the right drink to help you forget how much you hate your miserable life, but it’s f*cking bad, dude. They can’t even spell the name right on the can for Christ’s sake.”
~ Buster Gloves, some seedy bar near Richmond, VA, circa 2014
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Buster Gloves Talks WGWF Drama, The Intercontinental Tourney, And His War with CCPE
on the Cherry Pit podcast with WGWF DARK Color Commentator Cherry Cola
86k views – 3 days ago
HOST CHERRY COLA: Yooo…welcome to the Cherry Pit. This is the wrestling gossip podcast where we give you a money shot full of wrestling gossip. I'm your host, Cherry Cola, and joining us today is none other than "The Bull of the North" himself, Buster Gloves. How are you doing today, Buster? You’re looking fine as hell. I could wash a cat on those abs.
BUSTER GLOVES: Ha. Think so? I’ve been working out.
CHERRY COLA: Eat a carb once in a while dude. You look like you’re carved out of wood. You feel good? You happy, Bro?
BUSTER GLOVES: Oh, yeh. I'm doing great, Cherry. It’s great to finally meet you in person. Thanks for having me on the show.
CHERRY COLA: No, thank you Buster Bus. As you know, you aren’t getting paid for this appearance. I’m so happy to have you on, pro-bono, for my first ever podcast, while I figure out how to operate this god damn sound equipment. This shit is harder than a cock in a henhouse.
BUSTER GLOVES: I’m sure it’ll be fine. What’s the worst that can happen?
CHERRY COLA: You don’t want to know. Let’s f*ck this pig already. I need to get this done before Chipotle closes. You ready to talk about work sh*t?
BUSTER GLOVES: Sure.
CHERRY COLA: Great. Let’s f*cking go... Let’s see. Where’s my note cards? <shuffling paper noises are heard in the background> Okay. Here we go. You have a match against Bam Miller. Are you gonna kick his ass?
BUSTER GLOVES: Oh, for sure. <He chuckles at her forwardness but plays along.> I've been working hard to prepare for him. As you probably know, I was suffering from a sports hernia a few weeks ago. I had some surgery, but I’m fully recovered now and I’m in the best shape of my life.
CHERRY COLA: Sports hernia? Does the sports equipment still work?
BUSTER GLOVES: Oh yeah. No worries there. We’re good. It was just some swelling in the abdomen. Started small. Got very big.
CHERRY COLA: I knew it. I bet that thing has its own ribcage.
BUSTER GLOVES: I’m not sure how to respond to that. But, the answer is ‘yes, everything is working fine’.
CHERRY COLA: Wonderful news! Question number 2: Who have you been working with to prepare for this match?
BUSTER GLOVES: Well, first of all, there’s Emily… Emily Simms-
CHERRY COLA: -flippy bitch.
BUSTER GLOVES: Right. The flippy one. You know we’ve been together for a while now? Well, she’s just coming off a match with Bam Miller. She shared all that field research with me. It’s helped a lot.
CHERRY COLA: I have to be honest. I couldn’t pick that dude out of a lineup. I heard he killed a Mexican prostitute with a brick in a Checker’s parking lot and he pierced his nipple with a fish hook.
BUSTER GLOVES: You might want to fact check that. I haven’t heard those stories, but I could be wrong. I know he’s a dangerous guy, but I don’t think he’s a murderer… or a piercings guy.
CHERRY COLA: Do you have any side pieces that are also helping you out?
BUSTER GLOVES: Side pieces? Oh, you mean like… You want me to leak who’s in my new alliance, don’t you?
CHERRY COLA: I was told to try to get that information this way. Phase 2 of the investigation includes an over-the-pants handy. You’ll spill the beans sooner or later.
BUSTER GLOVES: Sorry to disappoint, but I can't reveal who they are yet. What I CAN tell you is that they SHOULD be at WGWF Brawl on Monday night. When you see who’s backing me up, you’ll know that I meant what I said when I was going after CCPE.
CHERRY COLA: Probably not. I’m not really good with names… or faces. But I’ll pretend to know who they are. So anyway, you just touched on one of the bullet points that the Sauce Boss wrote down for me. What is this match actually about? Is it about your beef with CCPE? Is it about the eight names on the James Raven murder list? Is it about fighting the guy who smacked around your girlfriend? Or is it about that Intercontinental Drip?
BUSTER GLOVES: Well… it’s about all of those things, really. This is a MUST WIN match for me. To lose at this point would set me back so far that I may not be able to recover. Bam Miller might be a better brawler than me. He’s certainly a better bricklayer. But he will not be more prepared than I am. Because this match means everything to me. It’s not just some random first round tournament match sandwich into the mid-card to sell ad revenue. This is a blood feud. Although, I don’t think Bam sees it that way.
CHERRY COLA: Spill the tea on the Continental Breakfast Championship. How does it feel to be one of the eight lucky guinea pigs they dropped into the experiment?
BUSTER GLOVES: Look, the INTER-continental Championship is the purest of the title belts. It's the title that represents the essence of professional wrestling. It's all about competition, athleticism, heart, hard work. The core beliefs I stand for. I DID ask for this match, but to be chosen as one of the eight candidates for that title is still humbling. I get to control my own destiny from here.
CHERRY COLA: So, why do you hate Bam Miller so much? Why do you want him to die?
BUSTER GLOVES: I don’t want him dead! I just want to beat him in a match to impress James Raven. And I want to beat him so I can progress to the next round. The truth about Bam is that he’s one of the toughest guys I’ve ever faced, but he's also a cheater. He lost to my girlfriend, Emily Simms, because he broke the rules. And now, he has a lot to prove.
CHERRY COLA: OH SNAP! I hate cheaters. Maury Povich taught me right. So, what’s Plan B? What happens if you bitch out and lose?
BUSTER GLOVES: Pschhh. This is gonna sound cheesy, but there is no plan B.
CHERRY COLA: I’m gonna pretend like you didn’t say that. Plan B has saved my *ss so many times it’s not even funny.
BUSTER GLOVES: So… uhhh… like I was saying. Failure is not an option. This match is the first step on the path to a championship and I’m following that yellow brick road all the way to claim the final. Hopefully I can cross a couple names off my list along the way.
CHERRY COLA: Oh… word. Alright Gloveman, I ran out of things to say, so it’s closing time. Anything else before I hit the button to stop recording?
BUSTER GLOVES: Well, I was recently sponsored by THIS IS AWESOME PROMOTIONS. Shout out to the Sauce Boss for the endorsement. They called me out of the blue after I beat Page and asked me to promote their brand. They wanted me to mention their new merch line for the World Series of Wrestling. It would be cool if you could help us promote that so they continue to give me free money.
CHERRY COLA: I got you, Fam… You heard the man, folks. Go to that crappy website that we will leave in the description below this video and buy things or he will burn your house to the ground. And while you’re at it, give ole’ Cherry Berry’s video a like and a subscribe. And hit the bell. And gib me monies. I’m saving up for some fake titties and would really appreciate the support. Buster, thank you for coming… phrasing/not phrasing… and good luck with whatever it was you were talking about.
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Brick walls aren’t meant to be climbed,
they're meant to be broken.
Every time I’ve ever seen Bam Miller, he shows up with a fist, a beer, and a brick. Doesn’t matter if it’s a fight, a wedding, a baby shower, you name it. This dude’s affinity for masonry is kind of unhealthy if you ask me. But let me tell you something, this whole brick thing is nothing but a cheap gimmick. It’s an excuse for lazy wrestlers, like Bam Miller, to try and steal victories. A brick doesn’t make you tough. It’s a crutch. You use a weapon because you have to. You don’t know any other way to win. Ignorance is bliss and you’re the happiest idiot in the locker room.
I can understand why you chose that particular weapon. Bricks are cheap and dirty, just like you. But the fact that you feel the need to bring a weapon into every situation to gain an unfair advantage speaks so much about your character. A true fighter doesn't need a weapon to win. They use skill, strategy, and determination to come out on top. And that's something you’ll never understand even if someone tried to bash you over the head with it.
Here’s what’s gonna happen. We’re gonna beat the elephant piss out of each other until you gas out, and then I’m gonna outclass you with skill and technique. In a week, last ditch effort to win, you’ll reach for your clay-based friend, but it won’t be there. Bam, there will be no cheating in our match. How does that feel knowing you’re about to be exposed as a wrestler who’s lacking the talent and skill to win without the help of a foreign object or an unholy alliance?
Let me make one thing clear, bricks have no place in this sport. They're a sign of disrespect to everything we’ve built during this new era of the World’s Greatest Wrestling Federation. To speak plainly, I'm not impressed by you. I'm not impressed by the attitude or the work ethic. I’m not impressed by the company you keep or the flag you fly. When the bell rings, ding ding ding, all of that extra crap means nothing.
If you think you deserve to be the first Intercontinental Champion of the new era, then you're delusional. Stop pretending to be the common man’s champion. You’re a fraud. You might be a hardcore legend. But you’re also a cheat, a coward, and a disgrace to the sport.
You call yourself ‘the Slayer’? The only thing you're slaying is your own career. I’ve seen you in Level Up, the XWF, and now in WGWF. You've been passed around from promotion to promotion, and every time you land in a new one, you throw bricks and build nothing. Emily Simms picked up a win against you to eliminate you from contention for the TV Title and now it's my turn to do the same for the Intercontinental.
It’ll be an absolute tragedy if I can’t find a way to claim that beautiful belt. Because someone like me should be the one who bears it. I have the heart of a lion, and the fire of a dragon in my soul. I'm not just some punk off the street with a brick and a cheap gimmick. I'm a true warrior.
Like the lump of clay that is forged into the brick, I've been hardened by the fire. I've fought in the ring, in the octagon, and on a real battlefield. I know what real strength is. It comes from struggle. The hardships I’ve been through fighting addiction, fighting PTSD, and burying the mother of my children have galvanized my heart. I found the strength to overcome the demons of my past. And I’ll find the strength to overcome the challenge in front of me now.
Let’s talk about your weaknesses for a moment. You're slow, you're predictable, and you’re short tempered. You rely on cheap shots to get ahead, and when those don't work, you quit. You fall apart in high-pressure situations and that's exactly what's going to happen on Monday night.
I'm not surprised how the West Coast Rumble turned out for you. You always crumble under pressure like that, like a house without a brick foundation. You’ve been given two opportunities now to win belts, but you choked both times. And I’m about to make you choke again, only this time it’ll be until you’re unconscious.
For all the people watching at home, don't be fooled by the propaganda coming from CCPE. They are not elite. They are not the best. They are a network of thieves out to steal crowns. Cowardice and dishonor are the tools of their trade and their success damages the integrity of the entire industry.
A true champion doesn’t need an advantage given to them from a corrupt enterprise, they just need a fair chance at playing the game. I’ve built a contingency plan into this match to make sure things are on the straight and narrow. My name is The Bull of the North, Buster Gloves. I’m a professional wrestler, a mixed martial artist, and an American soldier. I've been through everything you can imagine. I’m thriving and I’ve done it the right way.
Hit the bricks, Bam. Yield the lane to the future champion this company deserves. You can try all the dirty tricks and shady tactics you want, but in the end, it's just going to be you and me. Brick walls are not there to keep us away from our destiny, they’re put there to show how badly we want something. I want this Intercontinental Championship so bad that I’d drink it from a fucking sponge. I’d give a piece of my soul to hold it and I’d crush yours just to take a step closer to it.
I have a list of names, Bam. Yours is on it. Let’s cross it off.
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