Post by Deleted on Sept 24, 2022 20:50:50 GMT -5
Sometime during the week of September 23rd, 2022, Reno Nevada..
WGWF has gone all out with only a few days to go before their massive Relaunch show airs. From coast to coast and across oceans, city to city, they’ve held lavish Fan Access media scrums, each filled to the brim with the elite of the journalist spectrum and the most die hard fans.
Today is no different. Held inside the expansive and luxurious Grand Sierra Resort in Reno, the glitz and glam from the cameras and fans dazzle the venue as Chronic Chris Page finishes his closing remarks after all the WGWF wrestlers have vacated their seats and headed out.
Chris Page: Once again thank you for coming out tonight, Reno!! Tell all your fr-
A great commotion is heard. Blaring pump-up style music plays. Fans and journalists part like the Red Sea as an obnoxiously long limousine made seemingly out of pure gold with glitter rolls up boss style! Several large tubes affixed atop the luxury vehicle erupt an ostentatious array of pyro followed by falling pamphlets promoting none other than ……..
HITMAKER-YAMAZAKI ENTERPRISES
The vehicle stops, but strangely no driver gets out to open the door. Suspenseful moments pass before the limo door flings open with force and out pops the Ideas Man of Pro Wrestling JOHNNY HITMAKER!
Immediately the mood at the venue shifts into white hot heat. Jeers pound the legendary man’s ears but he shrugs it off and signals inside the car. Next out is Sonya Benson’s behemoth bodyguard, Smith. He does a quick security scan of the area and deems it safe. After him, Sonya’s manager, Norris, slides out dressed in a swanky suit. He runs his hands through his feathered blonde locks and smirks. Behind him, slithering out like the snake that he is, is the GOAT of all lawyers, Sonya’s personal lawyer, Litigious Larry Livingstone.
The fans know who’s next and boy oh boy they do NOT like it. Although she hasn’t emerged yet, several drink bottles and a few food items splat against the limo. The Rich Bitch doesn’t surface for a few more moments until alas the fans relent. With the ceasefire in place, the woman who’s so indescribably beautiful that it cannot be articulated in written or verbal form, finally emerges.
All manner of jeer and unclean word is hurled at her like a Nolan Ryan fastball. She is used to it by now though, having spent a year under their oppression, so she casts a demeanor of indifference while adjusting her scintillating designer gown and classy Old Hollywood Waves hairstyle.
Chris Page: Well, well, well… The Wicked Witch of wrestling and her contingent from the munchkin guild have arrived! Unfortunately it’s in her contract that she gets to attend these events if she opts to, although I honestly never expected her to. So, well, I guess I’ll yield the floor to her and her own personal human roomba Johnny Shitmaker.
With that said, Page can’t be bothered with them for he has shit to do, so he leaves the podium, disappearing behind a curtain. Hitmaker leads the charge, dancing to the thumping beats of the Pump Up song that heralded their arrival. Litigious Larry Livingstone passes his business cards out along the way. Once they hit the stage in boss mode style, the music stops and Hitmaker does some more playing to the wrathful fans. He steps to the podium while pulling some papers out from his suit and slams the parchment down.
Johnny Hitmaker: Let me make ONE thing..
Crowd: PERFECTLY CLEAR!
Hitmaker sighs as the rest of the HYE entourage take seats in front of microphones, all machismo like the cool kids in school commandeering their table at lunch. Well, except for Sonya. She sits prickly, prim and proper, like a princess. The sheer radiance of her beauty is overwhelming as she sits there silent and waiting.
Johnny Hitmaker: Just when I thought I couldn’t POSSIBLY be more legendary, I go and outdo myself once again. My two brains worked overtime to achieve the accolade I’m about to boast, so without adieu let me expound upon my greatness. I have done what Ms. B and her father were unable to do so for so long. In mere weeks, just WEEKS folks, I have secured this lovely lady the new wrestling trainer she so DESPERATELY needs.
The throng gasps and murmurs.
]Johnny Hitmaker: BUT FIRST..
The multitude collectively groans.
Johnny Hitmaker: I need to make a few announcements. First, the Ideas Man of Wrestling aka me has claimed several cameo and small part appearances on several SPLAT Network shows for Ms. B. So be on the lookout for the most beautiful woman in this world and the worlds not yet discovered on a tv tube near you soon!
There’s moderate response to the news. Hitmaker expected more, so he shrugs when it’s not forthcoming.
Johnny Hitmaker: Well ok then. Next announcement. Soon, VERY soon, I’ll be heading up Ms. B’s clothing line and perfume design! This means SOON you’ll be able to look and smell as precious and alluring as this dynamic woman who so bravely fights her heart out every match she’s cruelly forced into!
The mood in the crowd now is “hurry up and get to the big news” so Hitmaker again shrugs.
Johnny Hitmaker: Tough crowd. Fine, FINE! Now let’s get to the JUICIEST bit of news you’ll get for some time. At my limitless brilliance I’ve fostered a deal between Ms. B and her new trainer. This trainer has peerless skill. He’s a veteran. He’s a champion, NO, more than that, he’s the Champion of Champions! His face will soon be on the Wheaties boxes thanks to me! He’s the warrior who gives nightmares to Larry Tact’s dreams. He’s a man whose courage is only surmounted by the very woman he’s duty bound to train! Hitmaker-Yamazaki Enterprises brings to you…. The CCCOOOOOMMMMMAAANNNNDDEEERRR…
On his cue Duncan Shepard emerges from the back of the limo. He has dressed for the occasion, or more likely has been dressed for it, in a subtle tartan red jacket and black dress shirt. He carries the Level Up Final Boss championship belt across his left shoulder. Shepard momentarily disappears from view due to the enormous volume of camera flashes capturing him, shrouding the dominant champion under a blanket of light. Without further undue posturing Duncan makes his way towards the podium, and as expected he’s met with ear piercing mixed responses every step of the way.
Some cheer.
Some jeer.
Some squeal.
Some cry.
Others are oddly quiet, with jaws dropped. Many decry him with “WHYS” and “WHATS” and “HOWS”. Every caliber of emotion is expressed by those crowded in the venue.
A contingent undoubtedly versed in starting chants kick up a vociferous “WHY DUNCAN WHY” almost immediately.
As Duncan closes in on the podium, he’s greeted by Sonya who stands up while surprisingly wearing a warm smile. She nods to him with measured respect and extends her hand, wrist limp, back of hand facing upward toward his face as if expecting the old medieval knightly type of kiss on the hand in a gentlemanly manner.
Duncan pauses for a moment and spares a sidelong glance towards the gathered crowd, knowing that whatever he does now will become a picture that will be spread across the dirtsheets for weeks. He reaches up with his right hand and leans down as if to kiss her hand but before his lips reach her he gently realigns her hand into position for a more businesslike handshake then moves past her to take the seat that had been left open for him, setting the Final Boss title belt into a clear plastic stand that has been set there to house it.
Sonya plays off the rebuttal with practiced elegance and issues a curtsy to him before sitting again in her prissy princess posture.
Johnny Hitmaker: Sonya, the floor is yours!
All heads snap to her eager for an info dump about this blockbuster revelation. The Virtuous Villain grins like a Cheshire cat while wiping off the microphone in front of her with a sanitation wipe, then she leans into it and educates them with her honeyed voice.
Sonya Benson: All Your Base Are Belong To Us.
She side-eyes Duncan, knowing he’d get the Zero Wing video game reference, then turns her enthralling soul-windows back to the throng before her.
Sonya Benson: In other words I’ve commandeered your greatest champion, ladies and gentlemen. Yes, I hereby officially announce that I, under counsel from Mr. Hitmaker and Norris, have hired Duncan Shepard as my new personal wrestling trainer. Effective immediately I will entrust my body to him to prepare me for the seventeen wins I need to get out of this god-awful sport. While there’s certainly better options with more experience as a trainer, such as John Cable, they’re associated with Cracktacular Chris Page and thus eliminated from consideration, but I’m confident Mr. Shepard can get me where I need to be. Because.. Well…
The unfathomably pretty woman tosses a look his way.
Sonya Benson: There’ll be consequences if he can’t.
She turns her attention back to the assembly.
Sonya: As for specifics? You’ll have to ask Mr. Shepard. Let him tell you all about how he knifed wrestling in the back to enter into a symbiotic partnership with me. Go ahead, ‘professor wrestling’, school your admirers all about the boons I’m giving you that this wretched sport couldn’t.
With a showmanship gesture, she swings attention from her onto Duncan. All heads snap to him now, and he’s immediately inundated with questions from journalists and fans yelling over each other.
Duncan accepts the floor being handed to him with raised eyebrows and a startled smirk. He rocks back in his seat a little as if he’s been physically struck, then takes a moment to straighten his jacket, recompose himself then leans into the microphone on the desk in front of him.
Duncan Shepard: Well, first of all I’d like to thank my new student for that extremely leading and grimly tone setting introduction.
A small murmur of laughter rolls through the room but no one seems overly impressed by the quip.
Duncan Shepard: So I think I should set one thing straight from the get go. I do not believe that I have, what was the term you used?
Duncan looks down the table at Sonya then raises his hands to make air quotes around his next words.
Duncan Shepard: Knifed wrestling in the back? Quite the opposite in fact, in taking Sonya on as my student I see myself as doing the wrestling industry a service as much as I am doing one for her. Now I’ll admit, I am likely less familiar with the specifics of what Sonya has done that has earned her the ire of so many than you all certainly are. You may be asking myself how I could go into an agreement like this without doing thorough research of who I am dealing with. There’s several points to my answer. Firstly, I know enough, secondly, I trust in the judgment of our mutual representation Johnny Hitmaker but thirdly and most importantly, I simply don’t care.
Another murmur rolls through the gathered crowd, this time one of discontent and questioning hands start to sprout into the air
Johnny Hitmaker: Please hold your questions until Mr. Shepard has completed his statement.
Johnny gestures for Duncan to continue with Duncan giving him a grateful nod in response.
Duncan Shepard: None of us in this room are perfect human beings. I’m certainly not. I have done things I deeply regret but I feel like, given time and a willingness to make amends for my transgressions I have been accepted once again by the wrestling community. Now it’ll be no surprise to any of you that Sonya has made no allusions to wanting to make amends for her transgressions. In fact in the limited time we have so far spent together I haven’t heard even a single pang of remorse. This is fine. It is no secret that she has no desire to be here. Personally I have little sympathy for the so-called tribulations of the extremely wealthy such as Sonya but I also honestly believe that this monumental hoop she has been forced to jump through in order to claim an inheritance is cruel. I’m not a parent, I obviously never met Sonya’s father and can’t speak for the nature of their relationship but as an outsider looking into the situation I would say that I could never imagine forcing a child of mine into professional wrestling against their will knowing first hand the physical and mental, life altering toll it most often takes on a person.
Sonya scoffs derisively at Duncan’s remarks and turns her head away, her frame less regal now and she’s looking uncomfortable. Shepard pauses a beat to let her get a word in but she doesn’t take him up on it so he continues.
Duncan Shepard: But the point I’m getting to is that if Sonya doesn’t want to be here, if none of you gathered want her to be here, and if the only way to get her to leave is for her to win seventeen more matches, then I am happy to be the one whose tutelage leads to those victories and her welcome departure from the sport.
A loud “Objection” impinges on the proceedings. It’s the GOAT of journalists, Denzel Porter. He throws his hands up in exasperation.
DENZEL PORTER: I don’t have a question, I have a statement! Duncan, I respect the hell out of you, brother. I do. But this is just… I dunno… I dunno. Even if your reasons are good, there’s no guarantee you’ll last that long. You even just said you’re unfamiliar with that, that, that JEZEBEL! So let me catch you up to speed. That HARLOT tried to get me taken off the air! That woman led an insurrection at Project Honor HQ and held their titles hostage. That SHE-DEVIL stole an 8 year old boy’s prosthetic leg at one of her opponent’s charity benefits and used it as ransom to get a win over them. That HELLION desecrated the XWF hall of fame, stole Bianca McBride’s father’s top 50 legends plague, and then later used it on her to steal a win from her. That SCAPEGRACE crushed thousands of dreams that wrestlers JUST like you had! Those things are not even half of it. She could be your downfall too. All indications point to her being untrainable anyway, so I’m flabbergasted that you’d subject yourself to this.
Duncan looks from Denzel down the table towards Sonya, his eyebrows raised in an expression that asks the simple question, 'really?' Receiving nothing by way of a response Duncan visibly sighs, spares a parting glance to Johnny then returns his attention to Denzel. When he speaks he does so with an evident reduction in enthusiasm.
Duncan Shepard: Well thank you for getting me up to speed Mr. Porter. All that said, I'm not here to condone or excuse any of Sonya's actions. I'm not sitting here as her manager, publicist, attorney or even her friend. I'm sat here as her new wrestling coach. In that role I'll concern myself with doing my best to teach her how to wrestle. Outside of the confines of those training sessions I'll have no further involvement in her actions.
Johnny Hitmaker: I think we're ready to open the floor to questions.
No sooner have the words left Johnny's mouth than a sea of hands shoot up. Johnny's raised hand waves over them then picks someone out of the crowd.
DAVE MELTZER: Duncan, we see that you’ve dressed up for this announcement. Did Sonya dress you or did you splurge on the money she’s paid you? Speaking of the money, how much is she paying you to go through with this?
Duncan Shepard: I’ll take this one in two parts. Firstly I’m not willing to disclose numbers regarding pay. Secondly, those of you that know me know that I’m typically a jeans and t-shirt, hoodie and sweats kinda guy. To quote a clause from my contract though, as closely as I can remember it, while attending events such as this alongside my new student, I am required to present myself in a fashion in keeping with the standards and expectations of Sonya’s brand. Some donations have been made to my wardrobe to help me fulfill that obligation to my student’s satisfaction.
BUSTER CHERRY: Do you even have experience training someone?
Duncan Shepard: Not formally but it’s something I’ve been thinking about for quite some time. I’m thirty-seven and I know I likely have fewer years of wrestling ahead of me than I do behind me. It’s sensible to be looking towards the future and what that might look like and for me teaching wrestling is right at the top of the list of things I could see myself doing. I’m hoping that the transformation I intend to create in Sonya will serve as a glowing testimonial to potential future students when the time comes.
ARIEL HELWANI: Are you sure you’ll be able to deal with her as well as defend your championship?
Duncan Shepard: Absolutely. Level Up has a fairly relaxed schedule. We’re only putting on shows once every two weeks and I’m not expected to compete on every one. That leaves me plenty of time for other projects. I actually believe though that if anything taking this responsibility on will help me to defend my title. It’s one thing to understand a technique well enough to execute it yourself. It takes a higher level of understanding to be able to teach it to someone else. I think putting myself in a position where I have to increase my own understanding of what I do could be exactly what I need to keep raising my game and give me an edge, especially with my next defense being against another technically talented competitor like Sebastian Everett-Bryce.
JOHN STOSSEL: I’m surprised Mr. Porter didn’t bring this up, but Duncan your student here once had an incident involving a Children’s Hospital that-
Hitmaker slams a balled fist across the podium.
Johnny Hitmaker: That’s enough instigation out of you, John. I’m about to slap you for that!
Hitmaker checks his watch.
Johnny Hitmaker: OH man look at the time. We’ve got some other stuff to do so we’ll close this event out now. Thank you all for coming and we can’t wait to see you again in a few days on WGWF’s Relaunch show, where Ms. B and Hitmaker-Yamazaki Enterprises will give away one million dollars to a lucky fan. Now, in closing, I’ll have Sonya and Duncan give you all the photo ops you’ve been dying for.
He moves out of the way and for the next two minutes Sonya and Duncan stand side by side doing a myriad of business-professional duet poses. The volume of lights flashing is enough to give both “camera blindness” for a moment. The only thing brighter than the flashes is Sonya’s shiny white smile, which should come with a warning label to prevent blindness.
The photos are quickly uploaded to the interwebs and spread like wildfire, each with their own narrative behind it, some positive and some negative. After it’s all said and done, the Hitmaker Yamazaki Enterprises entourage pile back into the limo and leave the vicinity in cool boss mode style.
The End (of the beginning).